What to do about too much nostalgia ? (parent, people, everything)

[Katiethegreat]

Since Dec 2011 my life took a huge nosedive,like everything just went horrid from that point - before that my life was steady,easy and really good.I truly had an easy great life before then.
How can I keep from getting nostalgic about it,I keep reading old diaries,I just contacted old bf from then,trying to get back to that old life,I look at photos of the house I use to live in,I can find nothing in my current life to match it.
Is it just Xmas making the nostalgia worse.
I don't want to live in the now because my current life is pretty woeful,looking for some wisdom here about fate,or letting life unfold as it should or something.

[Amelie90]

Originally Posted by Katiethegreat

Since Dec 2011 my life took a huge nosedive,like everything just went horrid from that point - before that my life was steady,easy and really good.I truly had an easy great life before then.
How can I keep from getting nostalgic about it,I keep reading old diaries,I just contacted old bf from then,trying to get back to that old life,I look at photos of the house I use to live in,I can find nothing in my current life to match it.
Is it just Xmas making the nostalgia worse.
I don't want to live in the now because my current life is pretty woeful,looking for some wisdom here about fate,or letting life unfold as it should or something.

I'm sorry to hear that. I understand why you would long for the past if everything in your life has changed for the worse. I hope things get better for you.

[gentlearts]

I can tell you that even though my life is good now, which I am grateful for, I mourn for the days when we were young, and the children were here. Old photographs make me sad.

I had an uncle who was about 90 when he died. He was actually my dad's cousins and he had married my mother's best friend. He and his wife, my parents, and several other couples, all hung out together and had great times. I tried to give him old photos and slides from those days, when I was cleaning out my parents house. He was the last one of their "gang" left.
He was not at all interested in looking at them or having them, because it made him sad. The more I thought about this, the more it made sense.

Now, I think of old pictures and momentous as things that drag me down, so I don't look at them.

[foundapeanut]

Is this a temp situation that can get better?

I remember I went thorough a few bad years, late 20's very early 30's. So bad even my friends noticed and would say you are having a bad time. Yeah thanks, I didn't need to be reminded. lol Most of us go through bad times in our lives. If it happens younger, its easier to crawl out of.

But I turned my life around, but it took work. Went back to school, got better jobs, got into counseling. Dumped some 'friends.'

It was worth the work I put into it. Trust me it was work. But life was going to be moving along anyway. Did I want to be 35 and suffering with this crap? No. But if I didn't do anything about it, it would not get better.

[bawac34618]

Originally Posted by Katiethegreat

Since Dec 2011 my life took a huge nosedive,like everything just went horrid from that point - before that my life was steady,easy and really good.I truly had an easy great life before then.
How can I keep from getting nostalgic about it,I keep reading old diaries,I just contacted old bf from then,trying to get back to that old life,I look at photos of the house I use to live in,I can find nothing in my current life to match it.
Is it just Xmas making the nostalgia worse.
I don't want to live in the now because my current life is pretty woeful,looking for some wisdom here about fate,or letting life unfold as it should or something.

I can relate. New Years 2012 was about the time my life took its nosedive. I remember thinking to myself, not knowing what was coming, how happy I was that night (NYE 2011 going into 2012) and that those were the days I would look back on years from now wishing I could relive them. As fate would have it, that has ended up being the case as shortly after that, my life went from high on the hog to the toilet. I have recovered somewhat, but I am still not close to as happy was I was in 2011.

To me, it's to the point where I try not to even think about the early 2010s. I don't listen to music that was popular then, watch movies that were big then, or look at old photos. It's just too painful for me because of the nostalgia and how much better my life was back then. I am a nostalgic person and I frequently reminisce about times past, usually through music, but I won't touch the early 2010s. It's not because they were bad years, its because they were so good compared to now I can't even think about it without going into depression.

I would start with trying to cut out things that are nostalgic in your life from that period. Once you heal from this rut that you are in, then you can start bringing it back. Another thing is accept and celebrate that period of your life for what it was, and look back on it with fond memories, but don't allow yourself to fall into a pattern of thinking that if you could somehow go back, life would magically be better. If you did go back...let's say you went back to the old life..your old friends, house, everything, it wouldn't be the same as it was back then. People and places change.

Lastly, I would focus on the future. Figure out what it is about your life now you aren't satisfied with and work towards changing that. Even baby steps are good as some situations are extremely difficult to get out of. Working towards self-improvement however will yield results.

Good luck!