People that turn into instant jerks when they drink and why (narcissist, husband)

[Know Nonsense]

Alcohol affects different people in different ways. Some people/alcoholics are genuinely nice people when they are sober but as soon as the alcohol hits them they become a different person. The doctor Jekyl/Mr Hyde syndrome. Some alcoholics just become "normal" when they drink, they are the "pure" alcoholics.

After having known a couple of the "Dr. Jekyl" alcoholics and seeing how alcohol affects them my hypothesis is that that most of these types probable have some potentially serious underlying mental disorders, depression or chemical imbalances and the alcohol is their way to deal with it. Not to say that some of the "pure" alcoholics don't have problems, it's just the angry and hostile alcoholics who are nice when they don't drink have much deeper issues that they can't fix with the alcohol. It is just a temporary "solution" they know doesn't work.

Any thoughts or experiences on this?

[Miss Hepburn]

None, it is all a mystery to me why a friend turns into someone
that needs security when she drinks.
She does say she has ADD or ADHD, whatever.
Tough childhood like 90% of us.
I think her rudeness is her real self.
I also think alcohol is like a truth serum.
I would like opinions on that, also.

[melaniej65]

My ex-husband was like that. It was like he was allergic to alcohol; before finishing 1 beer his eyes would become red and small and he would start acting like an ass. He actually would become abusive (which is why I left him). Half a beer would be all it would take and he could never resist drinking.

Even today - 28 years later I cannot bear the smell of beer. My poor DH (we have been together for 28 years) has to drink his beer in a far corner of the room and I cannot kiss him until he has brushed his teeth. Some scars never heal.

[Osito]

I did hear it's an allergy. My stepdad strangely is like that when he drinks shots of liquor but not beer.

[baileyvpotter]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

I think her rudeness is her real self.
I also think alcohol is like a truth serum.

That is the answer to the OP's question. It's not that they turn from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde - Mr. Hyde
is always there. If you really listen carefully when they are sober - it's there.

[Mikala43]

My doctor says it's a kind of allergy / intolerance.

How do I know?


I'm 47 and never had any troubles becoming obnoxious when drinking, then in my early 40s if I drank too much I would fly into rages. Nothing like me at all. Doc said my metabolism just changed where it does not tolerate / react well with alcohol.

Now I rarely drink, and if I do I stay at a couple. I HAVE noticed that now I turn red and flushed in the face and chest with a drink. Much like many Asians do who are allergic.

[el_marto]

Some people just have ****ty personalities or messed up things they keep inside, and booze brings it out. It doesn't make them that way, they're already that way. Seeing how someone is when they're drunk is a good way of judging what they're really like deep down.

[Pawporri]

Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd. Edition states:

"Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol.
To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless,
irritable and discontented"

Further on it states that "unless this person can experience an entire psychic change
there is very little hope of recovery."

[Amy1190]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

None, it is all a mystery to me why a friend turns into someone
that needs security when she drinks.
She does say she has ADD or ADHD, whatever.
Tough childhood like 90% of us.
I think her rudeness is her real self.
I also think alcohol is like a truth serum.
I would like opinions on that, also.

It's not so much a truth serum, but it's the fact that it lowers your inhibitions to the point that the truth just comes out.

Do not go out for drinks with coworkers you otherwise hate for that reason.

[Sugah Ray]

Originally Posted by Know Nonsense

Alcohol affects different people in different ways. Some people/alcoholics are genuinely nice people when they are sober but as soon as the alcohol hits them they become a different person. The doctor Jekyl/Mr Hyde syndrome. Some alcoholics just become "normal" when they drink, they are the "pure" alcoholics.

After having known a couple of the "Dr. Jekyl" alcoholics and seeing how alcohol affects them my hypothesis is that that most of these types probable have some potentially serious underlying mental disorders, depression or chemical imbalances and the alcohol is their way to deal with it. Not to say that some of the "pure" alcoholics don't have problems, it's just the angry and hostile alcoholics who are nice when they don't drink have much deeper issues that they can't fix with the alcohol. It is just a temporary "solution" they know doesn't work.

Any thoughts or experiences on this?

I guess those people also suffer from hostility. My parents got divorced before I created my first memories but according to other people he was very hostile when he was married to my mother. I only saw that side when he was drunk. When he was sober(after they divorced) when he got drunk he would drive miles just to verbally assault his exwife(my mother). Well sometimes he called. When he was sober he was a saint. It was like 2 completely different people, the drunk one was possessed by some demon. He did the whole AA program and never drank again since the 1980's. I have never seen my father being aggressive or confrontational since then. I think he just hated my mother and the alcohol just reduced his inhibition. I can see how someone could hate my mother, she is not an easy person to deal with. I kind of feel bad for the person he used to be.

But maybe it's a trait. My brother and I have also suffered from hostility but not when we drink. It seems to me we only inherited my dad's psychological traits, I guess it beats inheriting my mother's narcissist personality.