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The question has really lost all meaning because strangers ask it to each other. There are a few good people who will genuinely tell you how they are, which is surprising, and I truly admire them for doing that.
I get tired of cliches, so instead, I ask, "How's it going?"
In most situations, I reply, enthusiastically, "Just PEACHY!!"
Many are taken aback for about half a second and then most will get a smile or chuckle out of it.....
I am not a whiner or complainer, except to my Doctor, and see no reason to expound on any issues I may be experiencing at the moment, whether physical or mental......
I'm talking about people I am acquainted with. Not family. So-called friends. But on the other hand, it's sad that we have to lie to strangers as well. It's a natural reaction, I suppose, to say, "hi, how are you?" to people we may have seen before. And of course few will say how they really are.
I would say, "Fine and you?" As I have posted before, I believe this is simply a standard greeting in our society. It is, as you have figured out, pretty meaningless. If you do not really care about the life of the person greeting you, I think you can guess that that person cares for you on that same level. So, why burden him with your problems? This is especially true when you are only passing one another in a crowded place or on the street.
If it is a good friend or a close family member, then I do think you can be more specific about how you feel.
If, God forbid, you have suffered a major loss, than I do think it might be wise to disclose this loss in a greeting. But otherwise, no.
It depends on who's asking. Close friends I tell them.
Passersby and casual acquaintances I stick to "Not too well today, neutral response or great" depending on what's most accurate.
The question is used by the majority of people as a means of recognizing you as an individual and your response is recognition in return. It seems for them the response is incidental.
No matter how well things are going for my DH he always responds, "Not too bad." I think it's an old habit from our immigrant ancestors who were reluctant to ever brag for fear their luck would change or that they would call envious attention to themselves.
You are not obligated to say anything to anyone if it's some random stranger for example a cashier. Some would think its rude not to give a response but if you are not feeling well it's fine. People need to understand not everyone is having a good day and they should not take it personal because you don't respond.
I used to say "okay I guess" but that was when it resembled the truth because I guess is my way of saying considering but if I'm really down I have turned to what my favorite youtuber says "I'm going through it" This is the perfect response because it's both honest but vague enough to cover everything. Since they're just asking to be polite they won't care what "it" is. Obviously if they do care they're going to ask for an explanation but you can always say "I'd rather not talk about it" if you'd like.
I've tried not answering or just saying hi back but that doesn't always work. Some still ask though I'm not sure why because they obviously didn't care.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mco65
I learned long ago NOT to ask people 'HOW ARE YOU'? Because eventually, someone is going to tell you the truth...
I simply say Hello or HI.. nice to see ya, have a good day, etc. no questions.. just statements.
I never ask how are you unless I 100 percent mean it in that moment so I hope if I ask someone that question they are honest because I would genuinely want to know.
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