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My brother was treated as the treasured one and had everything handed to him. I remember one Christmas he acted like a rectum because he didn't get the mini bike he wanted. My mother bought him a motorcycle a few years later and a custom van. He took and took and took up until the day our mother died. He's never had a successful relationship with any woman because I'm sure he expects them to treat him the way my mother treated him. I remember him telling me once that people were just there to get as much out of them as you can. I haven't talked to him in over ten years now. Nope not my turn to babysit. I'm sure he's the same entitled loser he was taught to be, and I'll pass.
I know siblings who grew up in the same household under the same parents. Some siblings as adults work hard, one sibling doesn't work at all (for whatever reason) and her parents still pay for everything of hers. So I always think it's just their inherent personality. Yes, her parents allow it, but they do not want their child so suffer, not even to teach them hard lessons. Would you kick your child out of your house? You're afraid they can't make it on their own, so you don't.
Yes, yes, and yes!!
My SIL. Almost 30 years old! Doesn't even look for a job, does not go to a college, nothing. Always busy going to one party after another. Her mother flat out gives her money for nothing!! And her mother is not even close to wealthy.
How does she show her appreciation? She comes over and back talks her mother disrespectfully, raids the refrigerator, leaves a mess in the bathroom or kitchen, or breaks something while having a hissy fit because we don't do more stuff for her. You can actually feel the negativity when she's around.
Whenever she comes over we actually have to gather up things we don't want stolen, take said things into our bedrooms and make sure the bedroom doors are locked. SIL is a thief!
Her mother the enabler big time. She's fooled into believing her little princess is mentally ill, she isn't, just ultra LAZY & ENTITLED! Again, this girl is almost 30!
This girl is in for a rude awakening when her mother passes.
It really is unbelievable. Many people will take whatever they can get away with, and feel 100% entitled. My Dad was a very easy-going guy, and a Canadian couple who rented his garage-converted-into-an-apartment for a week in the summer gradually started to take more and more advantage of him. First they were given the week free because they were the first summer visitors and helped with the apartment's spring cleaning. By the time my Dad passed away, they were getting the entire month of June and 8+ weeks in Sept & October for free (meaning my Dad had to pay for cable, heat & cooking propane for 3 months longer than the 8-week season), PLUS getting paid to do the cleaning (more than a cleaning service would charge).
Not bad enough? The first year I was responsible for the property, the pipes froze & the lawn had to be torn up. The couple notified us they'd be arriving on June 1, and I told them of the problem. They were coming anyway (I didn't argue much since they could stay in the main house). We worked 24-7, on top of our jobs, to get the pipes fixed and the water working before they arrived. We worked overnight the day before they got here; they told us they wouldn't stay in the big house because it was "too inconvenient" to walk back & forth (talking 8 steps from one door to the other). Our own once-a-year-vacation was a week later; instead of getting ready, we spent most of those evenings responding to bizarre complaints (like not knowing how to turn on the heater, when they'd been coming to the place for over 20 years).
We were 3 days late leaving; our 14 day vacation was down to 11 days. Comcast couldn't turn the cable on until the day after we left; apparently the couple missed the appointment and we began receiving increasingly-nasty phone messages. Part of the first tirade included ranting about "having to pay for phone minutes" which my spouse didn't understand. I explained that since my Dad had passed over a year before, I turned off the phone in the (vacant) main house. The Canadians were livid they had to buy phone minutes to berate us during our vacation. After listening to one of the swear-filled tirades, I had enough. They weren't invited back the next year. I soon got a long letter ripping me up and down; to this day they think I took advantage of them. Need I also mention that my Dad scraped by on Social Security, while this Canadian couple was a retired banker and an heiress, and their daughter was married to one of the richest billionaires in America?
I never understood the entitlement mentality either. Some people choose to be selfish, some are made that way and continue it because they can. I've done my best to keep contact with people like that to a minimum. It's not worth the grief. I do know that if God Forbid I found myself in need of someone else's generosity, I'd go out of my way to make painstakingly clear what I will do in return, and ask if it was a fair and acceptable payback. I'd probably do that to the point of annoyance, just to make sure that I wasn't taking advantage of someone. Call it erring on the side of caution. Hopefully, I will never find myself in that situation. A responsible adult takes steps in their life to avoid these situations in the first place.
I recall in one senior class an exercise on humanity and rights.
Some that stood out were:
We have the right to be taken seriously.
We have the right to make mistakes.
We have the right to be treated with respect. We have the right to ask for help.
We have the right to do for others in need.
We have the right to trust our instincts.
We have the right to our own body.
Thru out life some held true. Was glad to take that class.
It's how we convey those rights in behavior that cross over to entitlement.
Demand vs congenial reciprocating.
right to ask for help, not expect to get it or demand it, some dont see the distinction
the right to make a mistake? when the parents wont even let kids play unsupervised on a swing set/playground? hard to learn from a mistake if you never get burnt...
when kids are raised while not breaking bones/injuries, they never learn the lesson that life throws hard balls and they have to suck it up and make due
is there a difference between dropping a sport and moving to the next one if a kid finds he is "not good" or "not for him" and when he later on job hops around looking for the "perfect" job later in life? a kid may grow into a sport given enough time, their body have not hit growth stage. careers are same, they may not have given it enough time but they skip out. parents dont force their kid to at least see a sport through to the end of the year but drop it midseason?
Last edited by MLSFan; 12-26-2016 at 08:06 PM..
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