Not too happy about this.

[CSD610]

eh, my Grandmother had 2 children after menopause had started.
I must not be *normal* whatever that is, the on sadness I ever felt about menopause was being so stinking hot all the time. I knew before my last child was born that there would be no more children and there was never sadness nor the desire to have more in the future and I never felt like I was or am *less of a woman*, how ridiculous.

[KathrynAragon]

I'm 55. Started menopause at about age 37. Had a hysterectomy due to precancerous conditions at age 40. Since my grandmother and mother went through menopause in their mid forties and were done before age 50, I tapered off the hormones by age 47. I had exactly one hot flash (in the hospital the day after my hysterectomy). Never had mood swings or any other menopausal symptoms.

But I also never had PMS either, other than a burst of energy the day before my period, and then a hankering for chocolate that night - LOL.

I was thrilled to get rid of the whole period thing and I never experienced any regret or sadness. However, if I hadn't have already had kids, that might have been different, I don't know.

I feel great and have felt great since the hysterectomy. In fact, the day after the H, when the doctor came in and said, "So how are you feeling?" I told her sincerely that I felt better that day than I'd felt in three years. And that was the truth. The condition I had developed along with menopause had caused excessive and ongoing bleeding and I was sick to death of all that drama.

[nezlie]

Don't forget that when you can't have a child, adoption is always an option.

[katharsis]

I was in the same position as the OP, only I had to have a hysterectomy at age 46, after unfortunately never being able to have my own biological children. Based on my own experience (I am 63 now), I think it is the finality of knowing that you will probably never have your own biological children and the wake-up call that you are now "officially" no longer a young woman that is upsetting you.

But, OP, you are only 45! What I suggest you do is to decide what you want to have accomplished by age 65 and then go for it; and If you do decide you want kids, as others have said, you might consider fostering before adopting. (Raising kids is difficult at any age, and with no experience and being "older", you might want to try it out first before committing to adoption; I speak from experience, btw.) However, if you decide to just accept that you won't have kids, you still have a LOT of time left to make some other goals and wishes a reality. (My mom went back to college at age 60, and got a degree just for the sense of accomplishment it gave her.)

Best of luck to you!

[Lovehound]

I'll start out by making it clear that I am a man, so I am not speaking from personal experience, although I love women and I care about their issues.

I'll start out that on a positive note many women are uncomfortable with sex out of worry that they may become pregnant after the point in their life where they want to have children or have more children. My XGF told me one of the greatest hangups and one of the best days of her life was when she realized she had passed the age where pregnancy was possible. She told me that before that the fear of pregnancy had always held her back from fully enjoying sex, but after that (when we were together) she felt so much more free without the worry of pregnancy. This is the good part, as has already been said in this topic.

There is a bad part too. Your declining hormones are important to the proper functioning of your body. Hormone replacement is an imperfect science, you should seek medical advice to keep at the peak of your health. Yet hormone replacement has pitfalls of its own.

I won't discuss the problem of "hot flashes" since everybody in this topic knows more than I.

There is also the problem of osteoporosis which you should seek medical advice on. A primary health problem faced by women after menopause is loss of bone mass leading to increased likelihood of bone injuries, and is IMO responsible for the many hip and knee injuries and prosthetic replacements. One very important thing you can do is to remain physically active or even increase your physical activity. Exercise improves not only your musculature but strengtheners your bones too. And definitely calcium supplements are in order.

Finally you should understand that statistics show that women are in much more in danger of negative health consequences from consumption of alcohol. You already started out with 2/3 of the recommended alcohol maximum consumption compared to men of the same age and weight. You should give serious thought about your alcohol consumption and discuss it with your physician or research it yourself to ensure you are in the right zone.

In closing please note that women are not alone in menopause, there is such a thing called "manopause" caused due to decreased testosterone production, and has problems of its own for men. This can be particularly bad for obese men since obesity and the attendant estrogen release caused by excess fat can cause serious hormonal problems for men too.

To end on a happy note, I'll always remember my XGF's comment that freedom of worry about pregnancy had led her to a much more fulfilling sexual freedom to enjoy sex with no worries.

I hope my male comments have helped in this essentially female topic. Sometimes an opinion from the outside can help you understand the inside better.

[moxiegal]

Welcome to the club TW!!

I am 54 and have been dealing with peri-menopause since January 2009. It ain't over yet.

However...it is NOT the end of the world. We ladies are just given something else in our lives to deal with. It has been quite a learning experience for me.