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As soon as you figure out that these women are like this, why don't you just walk away? Even in a restaurant on a date ,as soon as I heard those words from a woman ...I would just get up and leave, even if I brought her there. Theres no place for mind games. Women need to understand that whats between their legs doesn't always entirely run the situation.
Well, if you're willing to cut a date short and walk away for the sole reason that the woman isn't going to sleep with you that day, then what's between her legs kind of is running the situation, no?
Have you ever considered that you may be asexual? Or demisexual, which means you can't have physical intimacy without forming a deep connection to the other person first (doesn't have to be a love relationship)?
I may be asexual. I don't know. I didn't really have a desire to have sex for the longest time. I had a bf for 2 years until we had penetration sex when I was 21. Every guy I met after that I tried to avoid sex but it would happen and I would try and make the best of it. Just getting harder to hide my distaste for it maybe. I don't know. I still find men attractive. I even find women attractive. But I'm happy just to leave it at that.
I may be asexual. I don't know. I didn't really have a desire to have sex for the longest time. I had a bf for 2 years until we had penetration sex when I was 21. Every guy I met after that I tried to avoid sex but it would happen and I would try and make the best of it. Just getting harder to hide my distaste for it maybe. I don't know. I still find men attractive. I even find women attractive. But I'm happy just to leave it at that.
Call the therapist and try to get in sooner, your issues go much deeper then just a distaste/disinterest in sex.
If you know that she had a bunch of sex with a bunch of other guys that she hardly knew, then yeah its kind of an insult if she treats me different and makes me wait while she was more than happy to spread her legs for those other guys.
OK, then feel insulted. Maybe you are not a sexual hottie to these women. Maybe you are domineering, whiny or clumsy or expecting them to give suck you off or something else they don't enjoy. You don't expect even promiscuous women to have sex with men that don't turn them on, or whose sexual preferences are different from theirs, do you?
I didn't want to post this on the relationship forum since it doesn't really involve other people. I hope this doesn't get deleted because I'm not trying to be crude.
After years of being disappointed from dating I have finally decided to take a 6 month break from all sexual contact. I might even go 2 or 3 years actively being single. I have been treated like crap after having sex with men so now I have a bad aversive relationship with sex. I can't have it and enjoy it with anyone. I constantly worry how they'll treat me afterward. This probably ruins the sex for the other person as well. Which is why I've decided to be celibate for a while. The problem is I still have needs from time to time. I have always enjoyed masturbating over sex anyway but now I can't do it without feeling pain. I need to do it to get it out of my system but I can't fantasize about men because I wouldn't know who to think of. Even thinking of a celebrity gives me pain but I can't just be in the moment and enjoy it because I like men but I can't psychologically process having them touch me at the same time. I'll finish and then feel dirty and cry afterward. It's very difficult and I don't know what to do until I can see a therapist in 3 weeks.
What you should seek is have a long distance relationship, this should make it easier to maintain a sexless relationship and see if the man is worth your time besides just bedding someone each week and going back to work routine.
At one poiint in time I was basically bedding women on weekends and then back to work. No real meaning full relationships until I had long distance ones that I discovered more things that I liked than jumping straight into sex and repeat relationships.
As a guy who is not seen as a "bad boy" here's something that drives me crazy; I have been out on dates with girls that had a reputation for being easy. But when they go out with me, suddenly they have decided that their "wild days" are behind them and they are now looking for something more serious and stable, and as a result they don't want to have sex because they don't want it to be cheap.
But do these women ever stop and think about how that makes me (the guy) feel?
I'm guessing no. They are doing what THEY feel and aren't focused on how you feel about them not being easy conquests.
You sound like you feel you're owed sex if a woman has had sex with other men early on. But, you're not. You're never owed sex.
Yes its everyone else. You are correct.
Sex is sent from high on above to permanently join two humans in a love rapture for life.
Since you mention another culture why not try one where they practice polyandry, polygamy, pre-pubescent sexual relations, or all of the manifold different sexual cultures that exist in humanity.
Or you can just get real. Sex existed before humans. Sex existed before marriage was invented. Sex-existed before Western notions of romantic love.
But go on with your own theory that seems to be making you so unhappy.
Sex for pleasure is pointless like you say. Like windsurfing, reading a book, birdspotting, composing, dancing and all other activities people pursue for pleasure.
I'm actually readung Neil Strauss' The Truth. He writes about his exploration into poly and sex circles. Cool if you're into that but seriously not my thing. I wanted to put the book down when I got to that point but I'm continuing it to hear hin out. Obviously we have different views on sex. Inviting someone into my bed is much more personal than doing those activities. I don't know how you can even compare them. What's making me unhappy is trying to enjoy sex for sex sake. I told you I tried it and it isn't for me.
What you should seek is have a long distance relationship, this should make it easier to maintain a sexless relationship and see if the man is worth your time besides just bedding someone each week and going back to work routine.
At one poiint in time I was basically bedding women on weekends and then back to work. No real meaning full relationships until I had long distance ones that I discovered more things that I liked than jumping straight into sex and repeat relationships.
I actually know a lot of women who seem very happy with their LDR. I wouldn't mind one. I haven't found a man who would be willing though. I think that would be equivalent to a man asking a woman to try an open relationship. I'd welcome any tips though.
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