Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Wouldn't you need a psychiatrist for a diagnosis and medication? I don't think that you can change being a sociopath or schizophrenic person, you just manage it.
Anyway, the therapist usually wouldn't be trying to change you unless you are indicating that it's a problem in your life or you had legal troubles because of it. Maybe you are giving off body language that you don't know.
My two exposures to 'therapy' have taught me that it is not for me (not that I think I need it anyway).
The first was when I was in 4th grade I think. My parents never told me why they took me for therapy (but it probably was because I was pretty darned stubborn). Once a week my mother would take me to the hospital where I would meet with a woman that (where did I get this at this age? I have no idea but it was what I thought and it stuck) seemed to me to be a Russian bull dyke. She would try to get me to talk and I would just throw darts at her (why would they have darts in a child therapy room? I still wonder that to this day) or dominoes if she took the darts away from me. My mother would go off with a pretty lady. An hour later we would meet back in the hall and we would go buy a treat and go home. That all lasted about a month. Talk about a waste of time and money. I'm still stubborn and it has stood me in good stead.
The second isn't really about me, but, about my daughter who has been going to counselling for years (still does) and also training to be a therapist herself. Recently she admitted (after yelling all sorts of things at me) that a) she was all messed up because she was trying to 'take care of me' (from 3 thousand miles away, with perhaps one curt email every few months - that one baffles me as much as the dart thing) and b) that she thinks I need therapy too .. everyone does. I guess she is trying to drum up business. Not sure but that whole thing was not very convincing. But, I have heard that therapists often are the ones who are messed up the most - they cope by spending their time helping others to cope. Avoidance can work I guess - till you have to face yourself in the mirror at night or your mother after you have told her it is all her fault that she unknowingly just by being alive messed you up.
OP, I don't happen to think therapy is great for everyone or for every problem in the world. You seem to have your own ways of coping with most things - and they seem effective for you. You seem to know who you are and how you feel about life and how you want to live. As others have said however, if you can't focus enough to keep a job that is a bit self-defeating. I don't know if the answer is more therapy or (since you know the problem there) just talking yourself through it till you can manage to self-soothe enough to get through the days and not spoil your nights as a result of that effort. Or maybe you should try a different kind of therapy or another therapist. Good luck with it all. I hope you get those last little pieces of your life together and that you are self-assured enough to just say what you want and let others worry about themselves too.
OP, your history of posting here indicates that you're not happy, no matter what you tell yourself. And spending your life daydreaming, whether it's something you choose to do, or it's someplace your mind automatically takes you, is not normal, and it's a waste of a life.
I'm sure you have talents and gifts to share with the world, Deep down in there, you even have a heart. That got buried very deep due to your parents being horrible people, as you posted earlier in the thread. Schizoidal personality (whatever they called it) in some cases is the result of early childhood trauma. Toddlerhood, perhaps, even.
The therapists out there practice all different kinds of "therapy"; each has his/her own specialties, approaches, techniques. For example, some specialize in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, as someone mentioned earlier. Some mostly help you to manage your day-to-day life. Others ask you about your feelings, or your relationship with your parents. A few cut to the chase, and get right down to that trauma, and help you clear it and heal from it. I would recommend you try that. These are people who don't play games, they're not into talk therapy, which they believe to be a rip-off for the patient btw, they get down to that abandoned or abused kid, deal directly with the kid, and give the kid a caring, supportive environment to pull himself together in. And they have ways of clearing trauma that are quick and efficient, and don't make you re-live anything you don't want to re-live.
I recommend you try something like that. You can start by googling "trauma therapists" in your town, and other search words that seem relevant, like "family issues", "childhood abuse therapy", etc. See who comes up, check out their websites, see if something resonates.
I don't buy that you're happy and ok. Or ok enough to get through the next 40-50 years of your life. Besides, somewhere under all that defensiveness lurks a kind, talented person who has a lot to share with the world. We need you, the world needs you to bring your talents to bear to help make this world a better place. Right now, you're basically telling the World to f--- off. That's sad. And a waste of human potential. You have the potential to experience joy. Instead, you're escaping into fantasies.
What kind of hopes and dreams did that little kid have, the one who was trapped with horrible parents? Do you remember?
I think that its unfortunate that you do not have any aspirations because if you did you could use your "day dreaming" to accomplish great things. After all daydreaming is just a form of meditation. People can accomplish amazing things through meditation.
Last edited by Alabamarose; 02-10-2017 at 02:18 AM..
I quit therapy a few months ago after it was getting me nowhere. I was diagnosed with ASPD (a sociopath) and later two different shrinks gave me a new diagnosis that I was NOT happy with. At least a sociopath would have some aura of "cool" attached to it, and I could make "Bad to the Bone" my entrance music. Instead...I'm schizotypal (STPD) Basically, it's a big, shrinkspeak way of saying I'm a weirdo. It has no negative impact on my life whatsoever aside from the maladaptive daydreaming that costed me my job because it was hard to focus (I'll find another one soon enough, so it's fine) I've started working on that myself and I can stay in reality now long enough to get things done.
Anyway, all my shrinks wanted to do was get me to change into something I'm not. I have only a few friends who I don't hang out with often. I'm fine with that. Shrinks are whining at me to spend time with people. I say no, and they say "humans are social animals." We're also spiritual animals, does that mean atheists need help?
I have very few real goals in life and I'm content to just work and go home and not "rock the boat." Shrinks say "you need to have goals and ambitions." Yeah, so I have something to be disappointed by?
I have dated and had sex, and I find it overrated and, when not in the hormonal heat of the moment, I do NOT like to be touched by humans. My shrinks said "I need to get over my childhood and talk about it so I can enjoy human contact." They don't get that I was never molested and my parents hugged me as much as any kid, even if they were horrible people in other ways. Shrinks just want to make me want to date and have sex with women when I'm happier with porn and fantasies.
Which brings me to the thesis statement: therapy is simply a means to make people conform to society's lame standards and expectations. They are not there to make you feel happy and complete. Give me room with an altar, some candles, and props so I can try to awaken a dead god, and some ambient music and time to get lost in my daydreams of taking an expedition to the ruins or Sarnath, and I'm happy. They are not there to make you feel happy with yourself but rather to make other people happy with you. Frankly, as long as I can hold a job, I don't care what people think. As long as I have a cat and/or some rodents to snuggle with, I have no real need for human companionship.
Whenever I talk about my issues, shrinks always try to get me to change my thinking. Why? If I'm happy, what's the harm? And they will often try to change the subject to THEM. I say I hate humanity, they say "well I'm a human." They just don't get that a shrink is a function and not a person. They are for my mental health what the barista at Starbucks is for my coffee: just a function to get me what I'm paying for. I realized that developing a relationship and trust (hurl!) are what they're trying to do. And the fact that I am not interested in relationships and trust doesn't stop them.
Anyone else notice this? How shrinks try to make people change who they are just to conform with a worthless society, as opposed to helping people be the best selves they can be?
I don't want to do a psychological diagnoses of you, because I'm much too dumb for that. I will mention, though, that your posts do not make you seem like a particularly content person.
I used to think you were not a sociopath because your posts show, to me, empathy, an interest in justice, concern for others, concern about others' opinions of you, concern for things outside yourself, and outright respect for certain ideas that genuinely make sense. I've disagreed with some of your views of justice, and several of your posts...but the interest in justice appears there.
You make me optimistic about what sociopaths actually are...particularly if there really are such high percentages of them as 4% of society as some people assume. The worst thing I can say about you is I disapproved of a couple of your comments.
I think if Ted Bundy were like the rabid grizzy of sociopaths, and Hitler was the insane polar bear of sociopaths, and one of those people who scams the elderly out of their credit card numbers is like the irritated dachshund of sociopaths...you're like a mildly annoyed version of this:
You don't get to be the cool type of sociopath everybody finds sexy yet. You have to destroy something or burn something down for that. You are, at least for now, the golden retriever puppy of sociopathy.
OP, your history of posting here indicates that you're not happy, no matter what you tell yourself. And spending your life daydreaming, whether it's something you choose to do, or it's someplace your mind automatically takes you, is not normal, and it's a waste of a life.
I'm sure you have talents and gifts to share with the world, Deep down in there, you even have a heart. That got buried very deep due to your parents being horrible people, as you posted earlier in the thread. Schizoidal personality (whatever they called it) in some cases is the result of early childhood trauma. Toddlerhood, perhaps, even.
The therapists out there practice all different kinds of "therapy"; each has his/her own specialties, approaches, techniques. For example, some specialize in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, as someone mentioned earlier. Some mostly help you to manage your day-to-day life. Others ask you about your feelings, or your relationship with your parents. A few cut to the chase, and get right down to that trauma, and help you clear it and heal from it. I would recommend you try that. These are people who don't play games, they're not into talk therapy, which they believe to be a rip-off for the patient btw, they get down to that abandoned or abused kid, deal directly with the kid, and give the kid a caring, supportive environment to pull himself together in. And they have ways of clearing trauma that are quick and efficient, and don't make you re-live anything you don't want to re-live.
I recommend you try something like that. You can start by googling "trauma therapists" in your town, and other search words that seem relevant, like "family issues", "childhood abuse therapy", etc. See who comes up, check out their websites, see if something resonates.
I don't buy that you're happy and ok. Or ok enough to get through the next 40-50 years of your life. Besides, somewhere under all that defensiveness lurks a kind, talented person who has a lot to share with the world. We need you, the world needs you to bring your talents to bear to help make this world a better place. Right now, you're basically telling the World to f--- off. That's sad. And a waste of human potential. You have the potential to experience joy. Instead, you're escaping into fantasies.
What kind of hopes and dreams did that little kid have, the one who was trapped with horrible parents? Do you remember?
You are doing what the therapist did. You are making him wrong for being who he is.
Everyone is not going to contribute to the world. Everyone is not going to cure cancer or feed the homeless or become another Mother Teresa. Some just go to work and come home. Who are you to say that it's a waste of a life?
it is up to each individual to define what their life means.
I quit therapy a few months ago after it was getting me nowhere. I was diagnosed with ASPD (a sociopath) and later two different shrinks gave me a new diagnosis that I was NOT happy with. At least a sociopath would have some aura of "cool" attached to it, and I could make "Bad to the Bone" my entrance music. Instead...I'm schizotypal (STPD) Basically, it's a big, shrinkspeak way of saying I'm a weirdo. It has no negative impact on my life whatsoever aside from the maladaptive daydreaming that costed me my job because it was hard to focus (I'll find another one soon enough, so it's fine) I've started working on that myself and I can stay in reality now long enough to get things done.
Anyway, all my shrinks wanted to do was get me to change into something I'm not. I have only a few friends who I don't hang out with often. I'm fine with that. Shrinks are whining at me to spend time with people. I say no, and they say "humans are social animals." We're also spiritual animals, does that mean atheists need help?
I have very few real goals in life and I'm content to just work and go home and not "rock the boat." Shrinks say "you need to have goals and ambitions." Yeah, so I have something to be disappointed by?
I have dated and had sex, and I find it overrated and, when not in the hormonal heat of the moment, I do NOT like to be touched by humans. My shrinks said "I need to get over my childhood and talk about it so I can enjoy human contact." They don't get that I was never molested and my parents hugged me as much as any kid, even if they were horrible people in other ways. Shrinks just want to make me want to date and have sex with women when I'm happier with porn and fantasies.
Which brings me to the thesis statement: therapy is simply a means to make people conform to society's lame standards and expectations. They are not there to make you feel happy and complete. Give me room with an altar, some candles, and props so I can try to awaken a dead god, and some ambient music and time to get lost in my daydreams of taking an expedition to the ruins or Sarnath, and I'm happy. They are not there to make you feel happy with yourself but rather to make other people happy with you. Frankly, as long as I can hold a job, I don't care what people think. As long as I have a cat and/or some rodents to snuggle with, I have no real need for human companionship.
Whenever I talk about my issues, shrinks always try to get me to change my thinking. Why? If I'm happy, what's the harm? And they will often try to change the subject to THEM. I say I hate humanity, they say "well I'm a human." They just don't get that a shrink is a function and not a person. They are for my mental health what the barista at Starbucks is for my coffee: just a function to get me what I'm paying for. I realized that developing a relationship and trust (hurl!) are what they're trying to do. And the fact that I am not interested in relationships and trust doesn't stop them.
Anyone else notice this? How shrinks try to make people change who they are just to conform with a worthless society, as opposed to helping people be the best selves they can be?
Yea its a big conspiracy. Only you and a few other geniuses have noticed.
And society is worthless as you say. Clearly its them, not you. Only your superior intellectual skills can pierce the veil of deceit.
You are doing what the therapist did. You are making him wrong for being who he is.
Everyone is not going to contribute to the world. Everyone is not going to cure cancer or feed the homeless or become another Mother Teresa. Some just go to work and come home. Who are you to say that it's a waste of a life?
it is up to each individual to define what their life means.
And people who are happy with things as they are and don't want to change anything in their lives don't typically seek therapy.
If he's satisfied with the status quo and in no distress, there's no reason to seek mental health guidance.
OP: I applaud you for sharing yourself with us, that's not as easy as some may think it is. There are those who post on forums and put on a front that 'they are like most people, so they must be normal' . . .whatever normal is.
Some of the replies you've received appeared pretty harsh and some even condesending; hopefully they didn't intend to be perceived that way.
I went to a therapist and one of the things that seemed odd to me is that as soon as I walked into her office she ran over and gave me a big hug. I'm not a 'hugger type' personality and it felt very uncomfortable to have a complete stranger do that. As far as what transpired during the sessions, it was mainly,
"Tell me all about yourself."
"Why are you here?"
"What do you expect the outcome to be?"
"Why do you think you feel that way?"
"What do you think you can do to change your life?"
That was the first session; subsequent sessions were more on the line of, "Well, tell me what you've done to improve yourself since we last visited."
I could have asked myself those same questions and spent the money elsewhere.
As far as being a daydreamer, good for you! Thank goodness Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Alva Edison were daydreamers - as well as the majority of other great inventors.
Being unique is what each of us are; however, there are those who have difficulty being an individual and not following the crowd.
As it has been said, "What's right, is what's right for each person."
So, what's right for a mass murderer is "right" for that person? So, a daydreamer who is so disconnected from reality that he was not able to hold a job is to be compared to Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Alva Edison? What an insult to the latter two! So, someone who believes that other people, not he, are out of step should be encouraged in that counter-productive fantasy? What a mind-boggling post.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That got buried very deep due to your parents being horrible people, as you posted earlier in the thread. Schizoidal personality (whatever they called it) in some cases is the result of early childhood trauma. Toddlerhood, perhaps, even.
We're also spiritual animals, does that mean atheists need help?
.
