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So, what's right for a mass murderer is "right" for that person? So, a daydreamer who is so disconnected from reality that he was not able to hold a job is to be compared to Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Alva Edison? What an insult to the latter two! So, someone who believes that other people, not he, are out of step should be encouraged in that counter-productive fantasy? What a mind-boggling post.
I agree, your post is very mind-boggling.
You've taken it to the extreme by claiming that anyone who daydreams is a mass murderer.
Did the OP indicate that he was ready to proceed with a mass murder? Ludicrous!!!
For starters, the poster who felt ripped off when the therapist's approach included an intake to get to know the person, their goals and expectations, their thoughts on the issues that brought them to therapy, and what type of work they were willing to do to resolve the issues. This poster also apparently didn't agree with the therapist's checking in on progess toward goals in subsequent appointments. Because, "I can do all that myself." But, evidently, you weren't doing all that yourself. Or there would have been no reason to seek the input of a therapist for support.
All these things are standard.
There are some people (I was in a relationship with one, and have seen them firsthand, not just on threads like these) who truly do look at mental health counseling like auto mechanics -"You're going to fix the problem, right?" - rather than understanding the reality. Therapy is typically about getting a neutral perspective on issues you are interested in addressing, and professional guidance on strategies you might use to improve your own mental health, pointing out, if necessary, ways that you may be unwittingly exacerbating the issues, and helping you assess if your lifestyle and choices are supporting your goals. It's collaborative, but the onus is on the person seeking therapy to be accountable for ultimately identifying and working toward their goals.
You are doing what the therapist did. You are making him wrong for being who he is.
Everyone is not going to contribute to the world. Everyone is not going to cure cancer or feed the homeless or become another Mother Teresa. Some just go to work and come home. Who are you to say that it's a waste of a life?
it is up to each individual to define what their life means.
Some people contribute in big ways, others contribute in smaller ways. As Clintone said, some of the OP's posts indicate a concern with justice, social justice, and a level of concern for others. There's more to the OP than meets the eye. I think the OP could be doing more with his life than zombie-ing through on daydreams and some kind of minimum job that his daydreams and half-depressed state can accommodate. Maybe what another poster said is true; the OP has good writing and imaginative skills, and could make a go of inspiring fiction writing. Maybe if he pulled himself together, he could be some kind of youth worker in a community center. I bet he has talents he doesn't know he has, or hasn't realized they're something special that he could make a real-world go of.
And you're right; I'm doing the same thing, in a way, that his therapists did; I'm telling him he could be more than what he is now. Guilty as charged.
My last experience with therapy was horrible, if it makes you feel better!
I called a month after my father died - I actually wanted to talk about how he died, what it felt like (he was sickly for some time), and he was bi-polar so he always made me on edge (I didn't know which father I would get day to day). You would think that is kinda straight forward, right?
Called 14 therapists, only 2 called me back. One put me on a waiting list, which I never heard back from. The other one took me right away, and I explained everything. She seemed to just gloss over everything relating to the death of my parents, and hone in on discovering my values and goals.
Ok - so I am middle aged, moderate success in life, and really I was there to figure out my next step in recovering from grieving, I really didn't think I was putting together a 20 year plan! I have a career, a mortgage paid off, money, awesome pets, a husband, and I lost a ton of weight (skinny again) - so what exactly do you want me to make as a goal or value besides maybe getting out once in a while (I'm pretty introverted - she pressured me about joining a book club, and she got irritated when I said I couldn't find one reading from genres I like) and maybe find a church (I am still looking, but have at least found one where the music speaks to me even if no other connection spiritually has been made - she didn't push this as much)? She didn't want to take that for an answer.
Here I had to process through these feeling with my father for many months without help - right on through the holidays! I was going to an "expert" because I needed to find help at that moment in time, had no one who could provide answers, and I wanted to know how to deal with complicated grief!
Eventually, after my 6th or 7th appointment, I got stuck in traffic and ran late as a result. I admit I didn't call and just showed up late telling her about the traffic (about 10 or 15 minutes). She made 30 minutes of my already shortened session a beat up session with how if made me feel to be late, if this is a pattern in my life, how would I measure my ambition level, etc. When she was done grilling me, she found other ways to ask the same exact question. She gave me more homework on discovering my "values" and try to figure out why I think it is OK to be late. I ended up cancelling all appointments with the desk and throwing away all information she gave me right after that. Wouldn't you know that I got harassed by that practice to make another appointment weekly for 3 months straight!
Fast forward, it has been 6 months since my father died, and I got through the holidays and this past year by myself...WITHOUT a THERAPIST or ANYONE helping me out! My friends didn't reach out to me during this time, my husband really didn't know what to say besides sorry, and his family ignored us both. I did it all on my own! As much as the help would have been appreciated, it feels good at this point to give the whole profession the proverbial middle finger, and say who the heck needs you! I did okay on my own! Yes, it took a while, and the holidays were hard. BUT, I made it a non-holiday...with my greatest highlight of trying eggnogs from different stores instead of visiting family that didn't exist anymore, then rating them! I hiked on Christmas day! The holidays were lonely, as I really don't have family left, but at this point....middle finger to the profession, and THANKS FOR NOTHING! When I needed it most, this person FAILED!
Like it or not, your childhood is relevant to your development, which is relevant to your mental illness.
I've never heard a therapist say the types of things you are relaying here. Sounds like you need a better therapist. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It can take time to find the right fit. But I agree with the other poster ... if you are indeed happy, why are you in therapy?
What this poster said! The OP made a lot of good points and I sure hope you said some of this to your therapist before walking out for the last time. Chances are he or she needs the feedback. Therapy is supposed to be centered on what YOU want, not on what THEY want FOR you. As far as the diagnoses go, they need to make some sort of diagnosis in order to bill for your treatment, and most of them are sent into the field with little or no training in how to make a proper diagnosis. Even the best diagnostician is practicing an art -- NOT a science. There is close to zero science in making mental-health diagnoses. I know because I do it myself for a living.
Honestly, the you-need-to-get-over-your-childhood stuff is a hopeful sign that they feel you have the power to change your life. Which you do. But probably not the way they think! If they don't believe you when you say you have little need for the rest of your species and don't want to change it, well, fire 'em. The medical-model therapist will just tell you you have a genetically-determined chemical imbalance and there's nothing you can do about it but take pills for the rest of your life. Those people also need to be fired, and quickly.
You've taken it to the extreme by claiming that anyone who daydreams is a mass murderer.
Did the OP indicate that he was ready to proceed with a mass murder? Ludicrous!!!
You need to go back and re-read. I never claimed that someone who daydreams is a mass murderer. I was responding to the sentence of yours which I bolded. Reading comprehension is a wonderful thing.
Like I said, it was for the maladaptive daydreaming mostly. Basically "Walter Mitty" syndrome. And I saw three because people always say "you have to find the right one." After the third I gave up and realized how they are essentially trying to program me to be *human, which is something I don't want to do.
*"Human" in a metaphorically sense. As in "neurotypical". I know I am physically human, but I often feel as though I am not the same as the masses psychologically.
This, with the OP, makes it sound as if you are closer to having something on the autism spectrum. but that's just shooting from the hip. Diagnosis matters a lot less than the results you are getting. Go into the next therapist's office saying this is what you want to work on. If they start trying to steer you in some other direction, you are welcome to steer them back. You're a paying customer. Get your money's worth.
This...therapists generally support you in working towards goals you identify.
Again, if you already have identified things in life that make you happy and things you are working toward, what is your purpose in seeing a therapist?
Because you aren't happy? In your posts you sound aggrieved.
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