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OP, praise like this on the workplace is analogous to high-fives after making a free-throw on the basketball court. It's just general 'atta boy' stuff meant to keep things positive and build teamwork.
Don't let it go to your head though; some year you might have nothing but challenges on the job and you may miss these simple days. Instead of kudos for little things you get criticism for big things... that's part of the middle and upper management experience.
The most surprising thing on this thread is your 'plan' to stay at that company 30 years until retirement. Most people will need a Plan B, C, D, etc. in life. Someone with a goal like this is well depicted by the beeny and lollipop pic. Are you a mover and shaker or not?
I don't know why I get upset at compliments of a "job well done" at work. I suppose because I find it ridiculously easy, in my mind I see a compliment as almost a put-down. I've been with this department for about two years, so I could understand if I was a brand new newhire, but I've been long enough. Maybe to those that have been here 10+ years, I'm still seen as a new hire, and furthermore, the older folks around here that did not grow up with computers may still find the work challenging enough.
A few examples:
I was asked, a few days in advance, to go into a certain setting in our program and change a settling from "Y" to "N". Its basically a line of command to bring up the settlings, tab over, flip the switch from Y to N and then press "enter".
My manager came in hours after I completed this and said "Nice work on the switch!"
We have a daily e-mail that we send out, which is a copy and paste of a word file we create daily, we copy and paste the subject line, and then have a distribution list that we need to bring up and e-mail out. I was asked if I felt comfortable e-mailing it since I had someone call in that would normally send it, and I had to stay late to cover. Again, its like "uh sure, I've sent an e-mail before"..
When the manager came in (different one from above) I was praised on the fact that I continued to do my job two hours longer than normal to cover the sick person, and send an e-mail.
I sometimes think I am a 4 year old little boy, wearing a cap with propeller and a big lollipop "gee wiz boss, I thank you for your praise, it was a very hard task and I was nervous!"
The first boss isn't here any more, but I sort of answered with sarcasm "Yeah, it was sort of crazy, but I got it done!" with a smirk.
On an unrelated note, the first boss is no longer here, and I applied to his position, and they went with someone with more experience. I was talking to someone and they said "well maybe they wanted someone with a degree..." I gave him a very cold look and barked "I have a degree!"
He just looked at me and said "oh..". Why would you assume someone doesn't have a degree? Or at least ask me "do you have a degree?" If the answer was "no" then said the above or if the answer is "yes" then maybe think of another reason why maybe I wasn't selected? Just irks me, and I don't know why.
I just need to shrug it off and let it roll of my shoulders, or simply say "thanks" and move on when I receive praise for completing silly tasks a monkey could do, but I tend to respond with sarcasm, and I know sooner or later it'll bite me.
We have come to a point where genuineness has become a luxury and rarity to afford.
In the early '90s, some psychologists (namely Kohn) asserted that too much praise (especially for easy tasks) can undermine intrinsic motivation and have the opposite of its intended effect.
He says that it's because praise is a reminder that you are being evaluted, which obviously you resent because it is apparent that you don't respect the abilities of these people who are praising you:
"...cognitive evaluation theory suggests that praise may call attention
to the controlling behavior of adults, and it dampens intrinsic
motivation to the extent that it leads children to shift from an
internal to an external perceived locus of causality (Deci & Ryan,
1985). Thus, praise may have negative motivational consequences
because it makes salient that one is being evaluated."
Reading through this thread, I was going to post that my nine year-old daughter complains of the same thing--that I tell her "good job" for things that are tediously simple for her to do--hanging up her book bag, being on time for school. In my mind I'm doing the right thing (bc half the time she doesn't hang up her book bag or get ready on time). However in her mind it is condescending.
Thank you, thank you for the psychology of the situation. I was beginning to grasp it on my own but love having the validation. Still it is a hard habit to break. I suppose for the OPs boss, there have been "switches" and "emails" in the past that were done incorrectly and/or the bosses have no idea how simple the tasks really are.
I have also switched my language to words that encourage her to reflect on her own accomplishment--rather than on my evaluation of it. . .
leadingedge, is there anybody with a brain in your IT department?
Instead of a shared inbox, IT could set up forwards so that each worker has identical separate inboxes which receive all emails directed to the common email address. Deleting your individual inbox emails would not affect other workers' inboxes or emails.
It sounds like you are using a shared email inbox as a ticket tracking system. Solution: get a real ticket tracking system!
That is what IT people do.
It sounds to me like you should just smile when your coworkers give you advice, and then excuse yourself "I have to get back to work." And smile at the managers, say "Thank you!" then ignore them and get back to work.
The problem sounds like your employer and your colleagues, not your personal problem (except that you work for a crappy employer).
leadingedge, is there anybody with a brain in your IT department?
Instead of a shared inbox, IT could set up forwards so that each worker has identical separate inboxes which receive all emails directed to the common email address. Deleting your individual inbox emails would not affect other workers' inboxes or emails.
It sounds like you are using a shared email inbox as a ticket tracking system. Solution: get a real ticket tracking system!
That is what IT people do.
It sounds to me like you should just smile when your coworkers give you advice, and then excuse yourself "I have to get back to work." And smile at the managers, say "Thank you!" then ignore them and get back to work.
The problem sounds like your employer and your colleagues, not your personal problem (except that you work for a crappy employer).
Thank you. I am convinced its just the department, not the employer. We all work out of one inbox; a central e-mail address in which we all have access. We don't have ticket systems, its simply just e-mails that come in and we respond to "can you update this?" "Can you reset my password?" etc etc.
Thanks for the replies. I'll take your suggestion of keeping it simple, a smile, a "thank you" and move on.
I don't know why I get upset at compliments of a "job well done" at work. I suppose because I find it ridiculously easy, in my mind I see a compliment as almost a put-down.
Sounds like you have low self-esteem. That, or you really aren't being challenged enough. Tell your boss you hope to be given harder assignments.
Some people have a hard time accepting genuine compliments. Sounds like you might be one of those folks.
Always important to be aware, the compliment may have little or nothing to do with the skill or complexity of the task. It has to do with how much the complimenter appreciated that you did it satisfactorily and without hassle. Instead of slicing and dicing and analyzing a compliment, better to just say, "Thank you," and to accept it in the spirit offered. Not really hard. You can add,"I'm happy to have been of help. Let me know if there's anything else I can do," if you can actually mean it. Not sucking up; just good manners and good business practice. Diminishing or demeaning a genuine compliment or complimenter serves no good purpose.
Attitude can be key to building positive attention, supportive relationships and currency toward your future in a company. If you're planning to be there long term, there will be lots of opportunities to question the whys and wherefores of actions and issues which displease you. Don't waste your energy on something that puts a plus in your column.
Wise to learn to give sincere compliments of your own to those who help you. Giving credit to others takes none away from you.
The ability to demonstrate the above are reflective of a degree of professional maturity. Get a jump on this while you're young, so it doesn't hold you back. (Leave the snarkiness and immaturity of youth at the door when you get to work.)
Last edited by mollyblythe; 02-13-2017 at 01:04 PM..
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