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I have the same problem. Maybe I also have ADD...probably also anxiety and ocd, which the stress of meeting someone can exacerbate. So I have to work to try to be on-time, and start getting ready a lot earlier than I think I need to. My mom was always late too, and it used to **** me off when I was younger, because whenever she would have to take me to school, or my own birthday party, I would be late, and annoyed and embarrassed, because of course, I thought they would think I was the one that was late and that I just liked the attention or something. The funny thing is, it annoyed my Dad too, and he said he knew he wasn't going to work out because she was always late, and wanted to break up with her, then one day she showed up with some news about a family issue, and he figured well can't break up with her now. Then my brother came along, and it was too late then... :/
Interesting... Both of my parents are terrible with time as well. Might be genetic.
I don't make a big effort to show up on time when I am going to someone's house to hang out, eat take out, and do nothing. I don't consider it to be terribly rude if I am not there exactly when I said that I would be. It's not like I left someone twiddling their thumbs at a restaurant. They are in their own home. Certainly they can find a way to occupy themselves until I arrive. So there is just no urgency in the situation.
I agree. Of course you should try to be on time in general, but if you're going out somewhere, or doing something where being somewhere at a certain time is important, then it matters more, but if you're just going to someone's house to hang out, then I don't think it matters as much. Which is why I tend to hang out at their place. I dated a guy once, and while I was a little late and apologized, he would say how much he hates having to wait, and I said I understand, but sometimes I was just coming over, so it's not the same as having to go out somewhere and sit there waiting.
I agree. Of course you should try to be on time in general, but if you're going out somewhere, or doing something where being somewhere at a certain time is important, then it matters more, but if you're just going to someone's house to hang out, then I don't think it matters as much. Which is why I tend to hang out at their place. I dated a guy once, and while I was a little late and apologized, he would say how much he hates having to wait, and I said I understand, but sometimes I was just coming over, so it's not the same as having to go out somewhere and sit there waiting.
Okay, sure, if you don't have any firm plans you don't have to be exactly on time, but if someone is expecting you to come over "around 6" and it's 7pm and you haven't left your house nor called them to let them know your ETA, that's still rude.
Interesting... Both of my parents are terrible with time as well. Might be genetic.
I think it's more learned behavior. Everyone else was on time. Which is why it was so much less stressful and aggravating when my Dad or Grampa would drive me somewhere or pick me up, because at least I knew they would be on time. Whenever we would go to visit them over break, she'd say we were going this day, so that day I would get all my stuff packed and everything, then wait around for her...then after a few hours realize it was too late and would have to leave the next day.
Okay, sure, if you don't have any firm plans you don't have to be exactly on time, but if someone is expecting you to come over "around 6" and it's 7pm and you haven't left your house nor called them to let them know your ETA, that's still rude.
That's why he was like, "If you're not here by X, I'm going out". Lol. And I wasn't thaaat late. But I figured it might have helped that I didn't have a job. Because, if I did, then they would probably think, "well, she must be on time for her job, so why can't she be on time for me?" So I figured that would make it seem less inconsiderate.
The fact that most chronic late people can be on time when something really matters to them makes me unsympathetic, and I don't put up with it for very long. We ALL have things in life that are challenging for us, and most of us find ways to handle those things without negatively affecting other people. I consider chronic lateness to be a bad habit and self indulgent.
How did you come up with that based on what I wrote? Are you practicing to be a fiction writer?
"For no good reason"
I actually had a very good reason to be a half hour late.
But he probably thought at the time, like you do, that I had no respect for him and was being inconsiderate. That my lateness was a deliberate act of defiance. So he got pissed off and left to show me who's boss. And it seemed a little game playing like.
I don't know why you are so confused. Or why you are so upset about it.
I made that statement afer I read your multiple posts about having zero consideration of other people's time.
I agree that it's rude to leave someone waiting at a restaurant for over an hour. I don't think that the situation is ruder if the restaurant is busy.
I don't make a big effort to show up on time when I am going to someone's house to hang out, eat take out, and do nothing. I don't consider it to be terribly rude if I am not there exactly when I said that I would be. It's not like I left someone twiddling their thumbs at a restaurant. They are in their own home. Certainly they can find a way to occupy themselves until I arrive. So there is just no urgency in the situation.
I hate to use the word anal because it's one of the words I dislike the most. But it's the only word I can use to describe your actions when dealing with the person that was late to hang out at your house. And I think that you were rude. It was thoughtful of her to bring you some take out.
But she was late when she did something nice for you so f*ck her?
It was agreed on that the other operson brings the food. It wasn't overly nice or a surprise. So the person shows up 1,5 hours late with some food while the other person was hungry and waiting. I would have eaten in the meantime, when I am hungry, I get hangry. Would you have waited with a growling stomach?
What do your friends/family say about your feeling of time and punctuality? Do they make comments, or do they not care?
What if I say "come to dinner Friday at 6pm, I'll cook, my whole family will attend." will you be there at 6 or also on your own schedule?
I agree that it's rude to leave someone waiting at a restaurant for over an hour. I don't think that the situation is ruder if the restaurant is busy.
It is more rude to the person left waiting because the restaurant staff may want that table for somebody who is doing something besides frequently looking at his watch. For sure the staff is giving him snarky looks.
It is extremely rude to the restaurant staff when the restaurant is busy because waiters and waitresses lose tips when a table isn't producing, and the restaurant is losing profit for the same reason.
I have another idea. Don't date people who don't own and carry their cellphones.
I have an iPhone with Siri, and I can just push the button and say, "Tell Susie how soon will you be here." Siri sends Susie a text, "how soon will you be here." (It's hard to make Siri put in question marks when sending text via voice.
So your phone was broken and you couldn't call him and tell him what your very good reason was and let him know you were going to be a half hour late? Maybe if it didn't happen lots of other times (which judging from your previous post where you thought it was no big deal, it did), he would have waited.
No. I was not able to call him to tell him that I would be running late.
If I had the ability to at the time I would have.
It's rude not to let some one know that you are running late if you are running late.
"Maybe if it didn't happen lots of other times"
Did I say that it had happened lots of other times?
No. I did not.
Because it hadn't.
"Judging by your previous posts"
It's not very smart to assume. You must have heard that at some point in your life. Maybe this time it will stick so that you don't make a fool out of yourself when it matters.
And you are correct. I don't think that it's a big deal if someone is late to hang out at someone's house and do nothing.
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I dated a guy once, and while I was a little late and apologized, he would say how much he hates having to wait, and I said I understand, but sometimes I was just coming over, so it's not the same as having to go out somewhere and sit there waiting.
