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Heck yes, some people are just terrible with time. They have no sense of urgency, underestimate the time it takes to do something (which makes them late), they just don't pay attention to the time. Sometimes, they have too much patience. Even when they're late, they still take their slow arse time to do something. Drives me nuts. I cannot understand what goes through their minds because I'm a very hurried person and must be on time to everything.
And you are correct. I don't think that it's a big deal if someone is late to hang out at someone's house and do nothing.
This was VERY true in my youth (20s) before the invention of the cellphone, when within my circle of buddies it was okay to just drop in, knock on their door, be prepared for them to be gone, getting laid, or sucking down beers and maybe a few more buds there (both meanings of the word) and hang with my "bro's."
These days I don't hang much like in my 20s, but I still tell best friends when we have dinner planned, just come over anytime in the afternoon you want, gimme a cellphone call or text when you're on the way so I can get out of the middle of anything I'm in the middle of.
Usually we hang (vernacular: "visit") whenever buddy gets here until both feel enough hunger to get to the subject, "Where we gonna eat?"
But this type of behavior, a sliding scale of meeting with somebody at an event (dinner?), that is not at all the same is hanging with friends, going out for dinner, then returning to hang out again until somebody gets a case of "need to get horizontal!"
It was agreed on that the other operson brings the food. It wasn't overly nice or a surprise. So the person shows up 1,5 hours late with some food while the other person was hungry and waiting. I would have eaten in the meantime, when I am hungry, I get hangry. Would you have waited with a growling stomach??
It was agreed upon that the other person brings the food? It wasn't overly nice or a surprise?
She said something like "Finally, she called, and she said that she was going to pick up some take out food and would be at my place in 45 minutes"
The "finally, she called" part implies that the girl hadn't called her in a while and that it was a surprise.
If a guy calls up another guy and says "hey I'll pick up some beer and stop by" I wouldn't expect his guy friend to scold him for being late and then tell him that he is through with him forever and to take his beer with him.
You would have eaten in the meantime? Terrific. Who wouldn't have something to eat in their own home if they are hungry?
Last edited by Alabamarose; 02-16-2017 at 07:57 PM..
^^^You not only misunderstood my post, but are misquoting it as well.
I don't care, but since this you seem to keep focusing on the example I used with my old friend who was always late, I will clarify.
My post said "Finally, one night, she called and said she was going to pick up take-out and would be at my place in about 45 minutes. Two hours later she showed up at the door. I opened the door and said, I can't do this anymore, and said goodbye. She left with the food and we weren't friends anymore after that."
Finally (meaning after months and months of her being very, very late any time we made plans), I told her I could not abide with her lateness anymore, and said goodbye. On that particular night, we had plans to eat dinner. She was going to pick up the food and would be over in 45 minutes. Two hours later she showed up at my door. It might have even been longer than that- now that I think about it- it was probably closer to three hours.
Maybe that would be OK with some people, but she never called, and she had been pulling shenanigans like this for months (pretty much as long as I knew her). She was NEVER on time. And we're not talking 10-15 minutes, we're talking hours.
The Friday night she left me waiting in a restaurant for over an hour, I finally called her, and she was still at home, and had a bunch of excuses about how she was just getting ready to leave, and would be there soon. I remember being shocked that she was still at home!! That really blew my mind. I can't remember how much longer it took her to get there.
This was a person who had no sense of time. It did not occur to her that she was supposed to be at a restaurant an hour earlier, and that she had kept someone waiting. It did not occur to her to call me and explain the problem, either.
It is more rude to the person left waiting because the restaurant staff may want that table for somebody who is doing something besides frequently looking at his watch. For sure the staff is giving him snarky looks.
It is extremely rude to the restaurant staff when the restaurant is busy because waiters and waitresses lose tips when a table isn't producing, and the restaurant is losing profit for the same reason.
I have another idea. Don't date people who don't own and carry their cellphones.
I have an iPhone with Siri, and I can just push the button and say, "Tell Susie how soon will you be here." Siri sends Susie a text, "how soon will you be here." (It's hard to make Siri put in question marks when sending text via voice.
If a girl goes to meet someone at a non busy restaurant some skeezy annoying guy could start talking to her as she waits. And she could get stuck talking to the weirdo until whoever she is waiting for shows up.
I rather get snarky looks from wait staff then get trapped in a conversation with some one I don't feel like chatting with.
My point was that it's rude either way. I don't think that the situation is more rude if the restaraunt is busy.
And as far as the busy restaraunt and their staff goes, if they don't want people occupying tables as they wait for the rest of their party then they shouldn't seat them at the table until their entire party arrives.
You can press a button that will send Susie a text? That's impressive.
The fact that most chronic late people can be on time when something really matters to them makes me unsympathetic, and I don't put up with it for very long. We ALL have things in life that are challenging for us, and most of us find ways to handle those things without negatively affecting other people. I consider chronic lateness to be a bad habit and self indulgent.
Yup.
They CAN do it.
They just don't care.
It's like people who say, "I yelled/said nasty things in the heat of the moment. I couldn't help it."
They sure as eff coulda helped it if they were talking to a cop or their boss or a judge, etc.
People are so FOS when it comes to their crappy behavior.
Yes, some people simply have no built in time clock. I know several and so do you.
The irony is most do manage to arrive at work on time as this is vital. The ones who cannot are the hard core wipeouts.
The best way to deal with such types to know and adjust. For instance, if I am attending a sporting event with such a person, I will insist on getting my ticket the night before and meeting him in our seats. I am not going to waste the morning waiting for him to get his act together so that we miss the 1st Quarter. I like to be comfortable and situated before the National Anthem.
What perplexes me is that what makes the late is never quantifiable i.e. they are mostly just messing around doing nothing or at least nothing of substance that you make them late.
You can press a button that will send Susie a text? That's impressive.
All iPhones have a voice recognition feature called Siri. Push a button and tell Siri what you want. "Directions to Susie's house." "Tell Susie I'll be there in 10 minutes." "Read me the most recent text message." "Tell Susie I'll be 20 minutes late at the restaurant."
I like to mess with Siri. My favorite question: "What is the meaning of life?"
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