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I could easily say, that you simply have not met the "right" woman (yet) or wish you luck in that regard. But honestly...I just wish you happiness. Alone, with friends, with one day a love interest if it happens to happen. I do believe that sometimes the best things in life do come along when you've given up on them and stopped looking. It's an odd thing that way. But so long as you are living on your own terms and enjoying your life, it matters not one bit.
I really wish you hadn't told me that platitude. Because 9,999 other people already did it before you. Et tu, Sonic_Spork?
Honestly, relationships feels really, I don't know... empty and nihilistic . I mean, for men, as long as you have a 2 in front of your age, you're allowed to enjoy life and have fun. But once the 2 becomes a 3, Society (sarcastic capitalization) expects you to "mature" , settle down with a woman, surrender your freedom, move to a cookie-cutter house in an auto-centric subdivision, obey a draconian HOA, work a soul-sucking job, and socialize only with other couples/families. And since I'm an urbanist that happens to be a Millennial, you know how I feel about subdivisions and HOA's. Zestful nights of dancing at a lively Latin club until your feet hurt followed by late-night burgers at a cheap diner, turn into sedate mornings of slow bike rides followed by brunch at a fancy pancake restaurant. If you don't go along with it all, you're Peter Pan.
And so on, ad nauseam, for 30 to 40 years. Then suddenly, when you're an old man, Society gets a "light bulb moment" that a monotonous, isolated lifestyle like that is unhealthy. So it once again starts preaching you to be active and outgoing, like you were in your 20's. Only by then, your energy levels just aren't the same. I guess Metallica was onto something with the song "Unforgiven". Just google the lyrics.
Maybe I'm being overly cynical---hey, it worked for H. L. Mencken---but hasn't ANYBODY asked themselves, as well as Society: "Is that all there is?" I repeat, is that all there is? At least when it comes to relationships after age 30. I mean, I'm just not seeing any positives to getting into a relationship at my age, given what it entails. With the "right" woman or the wrong woman. So can you blame me for MGTOW'ing away from any and all romantic relationships?
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 07-26-2017 at 09:47 PM..
Just want to clarify my last post a little. Like I already said, when you're young, Society allows you have fun and enjoy yourself. Which is good. But as it turns out, "fun" isn't the goal in itself; "taking the edge off from work/school" is just a pretext. All those exciting things---clubs, bars, game nights, parties, concerts, dances, etc.---have only end goal in mind: to get you to meet "the right person" and settle down. And then to put you into the "adult" lifestyle: house, two kids and a dog, subdivision, HOA, auto-centric suburb, 1-hour commute, shopping at "lifestyle centers", and all that jazz.
I mean, really? Doesn't it seem weird that people spend so much time going out and having fun, just so they can stop going out and having fun? Then why bother doing it in the first place, if people want to stop so badly? Conversely, if people do enjoy it, why do they stop after settling down? Something doesn't add up.
Of course, dating services know people want to settle down, no matter what lifestyle it leads to. So they make out like a bandit. It's been that way since the newspaper personals. The ones like "SWM seeks SWF for LTR."
I mean, really? Doesn't it seem weird that people spend so much time going out and having fun, just so they can stop going out and having fun? Then why bother doing it in the first place, if people want to stop so badly? Conversely, if people do enjoy it, why do they stop after settling down? Something doesn't add up.
I feel like part of the issue is that you define fun as "the things that you think are fun" and are pretty openly disdainful of other activities.
My definition is actually pretty broad, blinders nonewithstanding.
Debatable, but it's not so much the definition as your grossly inaccurate assessment of how many people are having this fun whether in or out of a relationship.
My definition is actually pretty broad, blinders nonewithstanding.
I'm basing my comment on the two posts at the top of the page...those aren't really introvert activities, you know? Like you're describing a lot of things that are around a lot of people, loud, late at night, etc. And you're clearly disparaging things that don't fit that type as not fun.
I will say that I did naturally progress from doing more of those kinds of activities when I was in my early/mid-20s to not doing anything like that now. But it had nothing to do with relationships, since I wasn't in one. It's just that as I got older, I had a better sense of myself and the things I enjoyed doing and wasn't as susceptible to being peer-pressured into stuff that wouldn't interest me as much.
I obviously don't know your friends, but I wouldn't be surprised if that's some of what's going on. Where having an SO could play into that is if they found kindred spirits who likewise preferred a quieter lifestyle and thus gave them avenues to introvert together, if you will. But the initial change came from within and wasn't something imposed on them by their girlfriends.
Just want to clarify my last post a little. Like I already said, when you're young, Society allows you have fun and enjoy yourself. Which is good. But as it turns out, "fun" isn't the goal in itself; "taking the edge off from work/school" is just a pretext. All those exciting things---clubs, bars, game nights, parties, concerts, dances, etc.---have only end goal in mind: to get you to meet "the right person" and settle down. And then to put you into the "adult" lifestyle: house, two kids and a dog, subdivision, HOA, auto-centric suburb, 1-hour commute, shopping at "lifestyle centers", and all that jazz.
I mean, really? Doesn't it seem weird that people spend so much time going out and having fun, just so they can stop going out and having fun? Then why bother doing it in the first place, if people want to stop so badly? Conversely, if people do enjoy it, why do they stop after settling down? Something doesn't add up.
Of course, dating services know people want to settle down, no matter what lifestyle it leads to. So they make out like a bandit. It's been that way since the newspaper personals. The ones like "SWM seeks SWF for LTR."
No weirder than kids spending years playing on swing sets only to abandon the practice later in life. Most kids grow out of activities they used to pursue and enjoy whether it's swing sets or collecting dolls or playing with Legos. Adults are no different. You seems to believe that people are abandoning activities they enjoy because they settle down and get married. Reality says that most people abandon those activities with age regardless of their marital status.
You're sounding more and more like Peter Pan with your reluctance to grow up and accept that people evolve as they age. Moaning that their lives have become different than yours and arbitrarily assigning blame isn't productive or healthy. You need to accept that your friends are no longer interested in living the lifestyles they once did and make friends that are interested in doing the things you enjoy.
Just want to clarify my last post a little. Like I already said, when you're young, Society allows you have fun and enjoy yourself. Which is good. But as it turns out, "fun" isn't the goal in itself; "taking the edge off from work/school" is just a pretext. All those exciting things---clubs, bars, game nights, parties, concerts, dances, etc.---have only end goal in mind: to get you to meet "the right person" and settle down. And then to put you into the "adult" lifestyle: house, two kids and a dog, subdivision, HOA, auto-centric suburb, 1-hour commute, shopping at "lifestyle centers", and all that jazz.
I mean, really? Doesn't it seem weird that people spend so much time going out and having fun, just so they can stop going out and having fun? Then why bother doing it in the first place, if people want to stop so badly? Conversely, if people do enjoy it, why do they stop after settling down? Something doesn't add up.
Of course, dating services know people want to settle down, no matter what lifestyle it leads to. So they make out like a bandit. It's been that way since the newspaper personals. The ones like "SWM seeks SWF for LTR."
It's just choices. My mother had a group of single friends who lived in the city, they did things like travel and volunteer work. My family lived in typical 1970s suburb (no HOAs or lifestyle centers), and my parents certainly were not bored. There was always something going on.
Sometimes people want to stop "having fun" whether they are married or not. I know single people who barely leave the house. At least married people can be boring together.
Just want to clarify my last post a little. Like I already said, when you're young, Society allows you have fun and enjoy yourself. Which is good. But as it turns out, "fun" isn't the goal in itself; "taking the edge off from work/school" is just a pretext. All those exciting things---clubs, bars, game nights, parties, concerts, dances, etc.---have only end goal in mind: to get you to meet "the right person" and settle down. And then to put you into the "adult" lifestyle: house, two kids and a dog, subdivision, HOA, auto-centric suburb, 1-hour commute, shopping at "lifestyle centers", and all that jazz.
I mean, really? Doesn't it seem weird that people spend so much time going out and having fun, just so they can stop going out and having fun? Then why bother doing it in the first place, if people want to stop so badly? Conversely, if people do enjoy it, why do they stop after settling down? Something doesn't add up.
Of course, dating services know people want to settle down, no matter what lifestyle it leads to. So they make out like a bandit. It's been that way since the newspaper personals. The ones like "SWM seeks SWF for LTR."
I don't think your premise, that marriage or a committed relationship means the end of "fun", is true. You seem to have a sort of 1980s sit com idea of what marriage means, especially for men. My ex was a really difficult person to live with and could be pretty clingy. She also seemed to believe in a lot of unwritten rules regarding marriage. Still, I did things without her and kept up with most of the activities I considered fun before we married, as did she. There was a bit less spontaneity, but otherwise we managed fine. With my current relationship, with a sane woman, we handle this even better, with each of us doing our own things and enjoying fun stuff together. It's not that tough or rare.
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. I mean, for men, as long as you have a 2 in front of your age, you're allowed to enjoy life and have fun. But once the 2 becomes a 3, Society (sarcastic capitalization) expects you to "mature" 
, settle down with a woman, surrender your freedom, move to a cookie-cutter house in an auto-centric subdivision, obey a draconian HOA, work a soul-sucking job, and socialize only with other couples/families. And since I'm an urbanist that happens to be a Millennial, you know how I feel about subdivisions and HOA's. Zestful nights of dancing at a lively Latin club until your feet hurt followed by late-night burgers at a cheap diner, turn into sedate mornings of slow bike rides followed by brunch at a fancy pancake restaurant. If you don't go along with it all, you're Peter Pan. 
