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Taking it beyond people, all organisms are in this world to survive, reproduce, etc. It is ingrained in our DNA.
I am having a really hard time accepting this and meeting friends that can grow above this. It seems much easier for me to recognize the bad or selfish habits of others, than it does the good or positive habits. On the other hand, maybe I am actually not meeting good potential friends?
I had this belief when I was a child that all Doctors, Police Officers, Teachers, etc did their job because they genuinely wanted to help people. Non profit organizations made very little money, including the people that worked there; I realize now many people get jobs because they need a job and to pay the bills. Many people working at non profits are making 6 figure incomes, many non profits are nothing more than tax free scams operating under the guise of doing good.
This brings me too my issue; how to accept that people will ultimately always look out for their own best interests and not dwell on it and think about it with nearly every interaction I have with people.
I seem to notice it with everything in life now. I have always had a very black and white way of thinking about things, I am more mindful of it now, however it is still there.
I don't know your age, but if you are from the snowflake get-a-trophy-for-showing-up generation, it really isn't your fault. You were raised to think that what you did/said mattered.
I don't know your age, but if you are from the snowflake get-a-trophy-for-showing-up generation, it really isn't your fault. You were raised to think that what you did/said mattered.
Hard, cold world out there.
No.One.Cares.
I was born in the early 80s. But I think you completely missed my point or rather your advice is not very helpful.
Last edited by inthetrees; 03-20-2017 at 08:59 AM..
I wish I could only care about myself. I would have a lot more time on my hands and a lot more money in the bank. I've never been able to ignore others' needs. It's just the way I am wired.
OP, I believe people are inherently selfish/self serving but I often think that's a good thing/has positive ramifications more often than not. And by that I mean many people do good things for others because it "selfishly" makes them feel good to help others. They donate money, time, help out others, do good deeds, care for others, create art, create products, build things, etc. to make them feel good/satisfied/help their ego/make $ but others on the other side of this "selfishness" benefit in a positive way. Having kids looks like a sacrifice/unselfish act and yes, good parents indeed sacrifice time, resources, etc. for their kids but the reason most people have kids is it makes parents "selfishly" satisfied to take care of kids/want them in the first place for many reasons...carry on the family name, make an imprint of themselves, something they can love, the want to nurture, etc. But of course the kid benefits from this "selflessness" in a good home environment. Perhaps looking at it like this might give you a different perspective. Of course there are others out there that do things that benefit themselves and don't care about others/walk all over them. I think they are easy to spot out of the gate for those with eyes open.
There are a lot of shoes out there and a lot of different people fill them. First of all, most doctors and cops and teachers want to help people but they would not necessarily be doctors, cops and teachers if they were not paid to be. There is something wrong with people if they do not look out after themselves. They are called self destructive.
Some people, like Mother Theresa and the like genuinely sacrifice themselves for others. This is not really self destructive as they are enriching their eternal soul. It is people who do not think they are worth anything, people with bad self awareness that are self destructive.
Until you experience those with genuine good intent, your point of reference will be as conveyed.
As a practicing realist , it's often a juggling act . My attitude carries much of the think positive and be prepared. I agree with the previous poster...Some negative and self serving folks are easy to spot.
There are a lot of shoes out there and a lot of different people fill them. First of all, most doctors and cops and teachers want to help people but they would not necessarily be doctors, cops and teachers if they were not paid to be. There is something wrong with people if they do not look out after themselves. They are called self destructive.
Some people, like Mother Theresa and the like genuinely sacrifice themselves for others. This is not really self destructive as they are enriching their eternal soul. It is people who do not think they are worth anything, people with bad self awareness that are self destructive.
I should clarify, I have no problem with people being compensated for their work, I do have a problem with people getting into public service or healthcare and caring more about the money they make than the help they do.
I have noticed personal interactions with potential friends, very little people I meet actually seem interested in what I am saying, even if they ask me a question? What I mean by that is they will start talking about something else immediately after.
I understand everyone by nature is going to look out for their own best interests, but with friends, you have to sometimes put aside your own life to help them or at least put in some work to maintain a friendship.... at least that how I treat my friends. I was very depressed last year, and told a few "friends", they initially showed some concern, but then a week or 2 later I stopped hearing from them. Now I only do when they need something.
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