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Thx for all the post and reply.
Two days ago, one female writer suidcide due to past issue.
Her story and mine is not exactly the same, but I feel the same way when reading her last book.
It disturbed her for about 10years but at the end, she didn't overcome...
I don't want to end up like this and will keep professional treatment.
It is hard to tell friends cause most of them will just tell you, you are not the only one who had bad relationship.
i know i am not the only one who suffer from heartbreak but I am afraid that i am the one who cannot overcome....
It is so painful when I am alone...
Stop wasting your time. I seriously use to think like that about 1 person. One little nothing I built up to be something great. I was totally under his spell. He broke it off with me. For years I thought there was something wrong with me that he would be so madly in love with me then just throw me away. This self pitty nonsense was dumb. After him I continued to meet other men all of which where much better and I still had this idea in my head that we were in deep love and he would come back to his sense and come back for me. What a load of garbage that was. Trust me when I say this there is always someone better. The world is full of people. Who wants to be with someone who is not faithful. People like that are pretty bad investments. I would not be willing to die over the loss of a lover any more. It is a nice little melodramatic idea when I was younger ... but honestly I have got some much great stuff done since that relationship ended that it was a blessing. I am certain he was not all that. They never really are. Most people are really not that specail lol. We just make them seem that way.
Perfect example Adele. She got dumped by some guy and wrote all these amazing songs and look at her life now.
She did find someone just like he did, but she also found so much more and has a shelf full of grammies.
Love yourself more then anyone else.
Those romantic fairy tales about love are all nonsense.
Be Happy and Be successful. There is no sweater revenge .....
Sue, here's a quote for you to chew on: "Revenge is a dish best served cold."
The reality is that until you forgive someone who has hurt or damaged you, you are forever attached to them so they can influence your thoughts and emotions. Do you really want to give this man that kind of power over you? I very much doubt it. You forgive them for you, not for them. They don't even have to know it and likely shouldn't. Once forgiven they simply disappear from your mind, thoughts and heart. Mission accomplished!
You forgive them for you, not for them. They don't even have to know it and likely shouldn't. Once forgiven they simply disappear from your mind, thoughts and heart. Mission accomplished!
Exactly my sentiment. Holding onto your thoughts of revenge is merely bundling up hate in your mind. Has no effect on object of hate. Let it go and it loses its power over you. Let enough time pass and you never even think about it again except perhaps like when this topic came up. Forget it and you're not blowing the ATP used to fuel those hate neurons.
Thank you for all your reply.
I didn't want to open computer for few days because they are running project together.
Now, their project are all over my FB, twitter, Instagram through common friends.
They are even in all magazines, radio and TV shows.
It is hard for me to hear they talk about their project...
So, I went to travel for few days...
But the situation doesn't become better after my return.
He has a girl who is so perfect- pretty,brave,unique....
That is why he only keep me as entertainment for so many years..
I think I am jealous that she is so perfect....
Every time when I recall their smiling picture, I feel I am no value one, very empty and boring....
I am not young at all, but I feel all my previous life seems meaningless compared to such perfect woman.
I keep seeing psychologist and keep myself busy with going out, attend all events...
I think I have to find my life meaning and value myself again...
But sometimes it is just so hard to get up from my bed and tell myself everything will be fine....
It is more than half year, but I still stuck in the heartbreaking relationship.
He is with other girl for very long but kept telling that he cares about me and kept having sex with me until I found out.
He didn't give me any explanation or apology, just block me.
I have to find out all their stories by myself with very little data from internet.
It hurts me when I found out the solid evidence.....
For the first 3 months, i cry every day once awake.
but now, i cannot stop searching their photo or activities on internet.
Every day, my revenge feeling is getting stronger.
He keeps having good life, good job, going out with her....
I want to tell her what happened to me in order to hurt him....
I want to let his friends and family know what kind of person he is...
It is seriously influenced my life and I have those negative feelings all the time...
I don't know what I can do and how can I forgive myself and set myself free.
Should I revenge ?
I'm truly sorry this has happened to you and that you are in such a bad way
And yes revenge does feel good when it works out but it may be short lived as they may want revenge in return ( despite them doing the dirty first time round ).
I understand how you're feeling but please consider the bigger picture when deciding.
Take care and I hope you can find some solace and move on with your life
He has a girl who is so perfect- pretty,brave,unique....
I think I am jealous that she is so perfect....
But sometimes it is just so hard to get up from my bed and tell myself everything will be fine....
Perfect ? my rear end.!
No-one is perfect, your ego tells you that to hurt you. You hurt you.
You're comparing your insides to someone elses outsides in order to feed your self pity.
It will keep hurting as long as you dig the wound open again.
And thats not going to change as long as you do what you are doing , you'll continue to get what you've got.
I bet my life on what I believe.
Stop wasting your time.
This self pitty nonsense was dumb.
Most people are really not that specail lol.
We just make them seem that way.
This gal gets it, simmered to its essence.
I've experienced the identical thing from the other side as a guy, its all the same.
Nowadays I have absolutely NO sympathy for my own whining....or I'd surely slide back into self pity.
I didn't get in touch with my inner child, I gave it a good spanking and sent it to bed.
I've experienced the identical thing from the other side as a guy, its all the same.
Nowadays I have absolutely NO sympathy for my own whining....or I'd surely slide back into self pity.
I didn't get in touch with my inner child, I gave it a good spanking and sent it to bed.
Absolutely!!!
I've been there, done that, exactly like the SueSue. I cried my guts out, and interestingly for about the same period: half a year. Yet I suffered the relationship to continue, deluding myself that she would work things out and come back to me exclusively.
Didn't work. Finally one day I decided I had just had enough. I was miserable when I was with her, miserable when she was out with some other man. I realized I was miserable 100% of the time, and that getting laid was my only consolation. It just wasn't enough, not enough to pay for all the pain I was enduring. I finally I realized that since I was miserable either way I might as well just be miserable alone.
I recognized that if we broke up my pain would subside over the passing of time. I'd broken up before, that's always the way such things happen.
Sooooo... I told her I had decided I couldn't take it any more and that I wouldn't see her any more. I didn't even bother trying to bargain with her. I had already made up my mind, and even at that age I was already world wise enough to know that any bargain would be merely temporary and that the situation was sure to repeat. There was only one solution: break it off completely and irrevocably, so that's what I did. I regretted losing her but I've never regretted my decision.
It was funny in a "life is strange" way that while my GF had been dating other men I had spent those days meeting other women. I had been getting closer to a woman I'll call "Sue" (since that was her name, coincidentally the same as our OP). Just two weeks after my breaking up with my previous GF I scored with Sue! I hadn't expected that but Sue was very attractive and much more experienced than my now XGF and Sue and I had many good times although eventually that relationship too ran its course, but without any drama.
My conclusion: leave drama for the big screen and the small screen. Make relationships with partners who want closeness not drama. Perhaps the only drama in my relationship was caused by me, but I've learned that drama in a relationship is a very bad sign. It's a message you shouldn't miss, drama in your life is life's way of warning you that things will not work out well if you keep on keepin' on.
It turns out that I never did meet my perfect significant other, but I'm still working on it and I still expect to succeed. And even if I don't, at least I'm leading a happy, misery-free life.
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