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Has anyone else ever felt relieved and grateful that a person was not in your life anymore, when you had previously felt disturbed over their absence. And after a lot of reflection and introspection, you realize you are eternally grateful they are not part of your life?
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"In the words of Steve Winwood, Roll With It!"
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There have been times when someone passed on, and I thought I was devastated by it at first, but later realized what a hard time I would have if they could return.
Has anyone else ever felt relieved and grateful that a person was not in your life anymore, when you had previously felt disturbed over their absence. And after a lot of reflection and introspection, you realize you are eternally grateful they are not part of your life?
Been there and done that! It's funny you should mention that, because I went through that very thing in the not too distant past. I had a female friend that I was once intimate with. To be honest, I'm not sure what we were, so I suppose friends with benefits best described us? Anyway, she got angry at me and ceased talking to me, despite me apologizing and doing everything I could to make amends. She is as done with me as it is humanly possible to be. Even though she HATES me more than words can possibly describe, I wanted to fix it. I missed her and wanted her back in the worst way. But, as you stated, after a lot of reflection and introspection, I realized that this really is for the better. Someone told me "look, even if you somehow fixed things and got her back into your life, number one, it wouldn't be the same as it was years ago, and two you would soon be wishing that you had just left her in the past". The person that told me that was spot on. I could very well see myself down the road, looking back to now and thinking "why did I bring her back? I didn't know how good I had it!".
Been there and done that! It's funny you should mention that, because I went through that very thing in the not too distant past. I had a female friend that I was once intimate with. To be honest, I'm not sure what we were, so I suppose friends with benefits best described us? Anyway, she got angry at me and ceased talking to me, despite me apologizing and doing everything I could to make amends. She is as done with me as it is humanly possible to be. Even though she HATES me more than words can possibly describe, I wanted to fix it. I missed her and wanted her back in the worst way. But, as you stated, after a lot of reflection and introspection, I realized that this really is for the better. Someone told me "look, even if you somehow fixed things and got her back into your life, number one, it wouldn't be the same as it was years ago, and two you would soon be wishing that you had just left her in the past". The person that told me that was spot on. I could very well see myself down the road, looking back to now and thinking "why did I bring her back? I didn't know how good I had it!".
Sometimes a person leaving is a blessing in disguise. It could have turned out worse if they had stayed.
I also think it's sometimes better to be lonely than be with toxic people.
I am going through this now, and it is emotionally painful. I've tried letting this person go before, and I let him back in, because of the emotional pain. I haven't let him back in this time, but it's only been a little less than 2 weeks! :^)
He's a former boyfriend/lover of a couple decades ago - but we've been just friends now with almost daily contact for the past 7 years.
Last edited by matisse12; 05-04-2017 at 01:40 PM..
I learned the hard way to not tempt fate by repeating mistakes. There is no better sex than make up sex, particularly with a schizo woman (or man if you're a woman) but a mistake 7 years ago is still a mistake today.
Out of the many people I know I've seen only one exception, and I think the earlier relationship just lost steam. My friend married another, had children, finally realized he was married to a crazy psycho, got divorced, ran into old GF, they got together and married. She was a high school sweetheart.
The exceptions are always fewer than the majority that fail. Don't tempt fate. There are plenty of other fish in the river.
I am going through this now, and it is emotionally painful. I've tried letting this person go before, and I let him back in, because of the emotional pain. I haven't let him back in this time, but it's only been a little less than 2 weeks! :^)
He's a former boyfriend/lover of a couple decades ago - but we've been just friends now with almost daily contact for the past 7 years.
Has he become involved with someone else, a new friend perhaps?
I've had men friends before and once they get into a relationship, they would tell me it was time to back off. That their girlfriend wasn't okay with them having women friends.
No, a supply of good friends is not readily available. And that's what he is, a good friend. But one that is bad in some or too many ways.
Please do not project erroneous assumptions onto my situation. And sex is not involved.
I feel you. Your can totally relate to your first statement. For a lot of people, there simply is not a plethora of friends to go pick from if you lose one. The impact of a loss of a friend can be felt for a long time to come. I felt my loss for several years. Now, in my situation, I am now seeing for the first time that having my former friend back would not be a good thing. I really do see now that if I did somehow, against all odds, get her back in my life, I would soon thereafter be kicking myself for doing it. But, of course, that's my situation.
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