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You got to love double standards. Two people can be doing the exact same thing, yet some individuals will get beaten down, while others will get applauded. For instance, say two people are unemployed. One will catch a ton of grief for it, be called lazy, a mooch, a drain on society, stealing from those who are busting their butts out there in the workforce, etc. And the other will have nothing said to them or about them, other than excuses. "Well, so and so is just having a tough time right now. So and so will be alright. These things take time". Normally, you would think that the person catching grief is just laying around with their hand out, while the person who everyone is making excuses for is really trying hard to find work. But, a lot of times, it is the other way around. I have seen people making efforts and trying their hardest to find work, even going so far as to do odd jobs until they can find a real job. Yet, they will be the ones who catch all the flack, and the person laying around with their hand out is a poor victim in everyone's eyes.
I am seeing this happen in my own family right now. A few years ago, when I was in my late 30's I developed a crush on a much younger female. She was in her mid 20's. I was told that the age difference was WAY too much and I should be trying to date women my own age, I was a cradle robber, I should be ashamed, why don't I go on down to the local high school and pick up teenage girls while I'm at, etc. Fast forward to now.. My brother is about to turn 37. His girlfriend is only 22. That age difference is actually larger than the age difference between me and the female I was interested in a few years back. He has received nothing but compliments and back pats. Oh, they are treating him like he has won the Superbowl. Now, suddenly, 37 and 22 is NOT that big of an age difference. Yet, when I was 38 and the female I was interested in was 25, oh that was BAD. I asked my family if they thought that that was a double standard, and they said no. Really? If that isn't a double standard, then I don't know what is!
2. You should'a told your family it's none of their damned business who you date as long as the other person is of legal age.
3. You have a family problem. You listen to them. Next time they feed you this dreck, stick your fingers in your ears and repeat, "Na, na, na, na, na..." and "I'm so not listening to your bad advice."
If you are living with them, move. I presume you have your own place, use it. Just don't listen to bad advice. You are getting it from people with their own problems. Be thankful you are not them.
You can pick your friends but sadly you cannot pick your family. Enjoy the best of them, tune out the worst of them.
Because every situation is judged differently and has a lot of different variables. We don't just judge based on the facts at hand. There's a human part to it that no one wants to admit that causes us to judge 2 people in the same situation (as you described) differently, such as the person's personality, their character, the "vibe" they give off, their mannerisms, their behavior.
You shouldn't have let your family talk you out of what may have been a wonderful relationship. At 25 the woman was old enough to know what she was doing...as are you at your age.
The ideal is that in a family both parents are equal, and all the children are equally loved. I don't see how this could ever happen in real life. In real life daddy has a nasty temper, mommy is a alcoholic, one brother is always favored and daddy coverts fantasies of having sex with his oldest daughter, who reminds him of his wife when she was young and cute and before she took up the bottle.
If there are real, ideal families in real life then it wasn't mine. You just do what I did, spike daddy's liquor with saltpeter! (J/K, daddy was fat and couldn't even catch our family dog, who was almost as old as me!)
Don't cry about your family. Rise above them. Leave them behind if they bring you down.
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(J/K, daddy was fat and couldn't even catch our family dog, who was almost as old as me!)
