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I think a lot of people are railing against a specific type of positive thinking. The kind popularized by the kids' show "Barney and Friends". Where the solution for every problem was "smiling" and "singing a happy song". From being afraid of going to the dentist to feeling lonely from living in a small family. Any notions of having to push through a difficulty and the sadness that may result from it were glossed over. I don't remember the episodes, but that was pretty much the gist of them.
This was not true in kids' shows like "Mr. Rogers" or "Sesame Street", where sadness was tackled head-on and resolved, or at least talked about. So the cult of positive thinking was not too pervasive. But remember that it was before year 2000.
I think there is a danger that the whole "cult" mentality of positive thinking can bleed over into dangerous idealism.
An extreme example might be if we are told to believe all people and all things are all sunshine and light. Even that guy approaching your house with a large scythe. Is he coming to cut down the tall weeds at the back of your property or is he intending to slice you up?
When my husband had a slightly elevated PSA test about 15 years ago, the first specialist we went to was very up-beat, smiling a lot and extremely positive. He said that my husband was still too young for such a cancer, appeared fit and healthy, and nothing in his history suggested there might be anything wrong. He told us to relax, have a nice weekend and not worry at all. A month later after a different consult, a biopsy and a diagnosis of stage one Gleason 7 prostate cancer, he had it removed. The surgeon said it was aggressive but that it was caught in time, to not spread. The original doctor was irresponsible, granted. But many people in our shoes, would be more inclined to believe him than we were.
If you're looking for a job, and you are a positive thinker, you might assume all that's needed is for you to thrust your resume into someone's hands, as you flash them a lovely smile, and your positive thinking has now taken care of you. A negative thinker might assume he or she isn't going to get the job, and so back to the resume re-working to make sure the right things are highlighted. Or they might be so negative that they don't even try.
I believe we are selling a false bill of goods when we tell people that positive thinking by itself, will improve any outcome, and that the power of the mind alone is all that's needed. What's important is thinking. Not positive or negative but thinking for yourself, critically, rather than just having group hugs and opening halfway houses on every block.
But that's NOT what happens, that is plain ridiculous. A normal example would be losing a job. BOTH people are going to take action to find a new job, neither are going to hide from the fact they lost their job...but you CAN choose how you think about it. You can think dark, scary thoughts about what might happen, and feel hopeless and helpless, or you can choose to think "This sucks, but I'm confident it'll all work out - maybe I'll even find a better job than that one". THAT is all it is, and it is not new. In the old days they said learn "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade" THAT is positive thinking in a nutshell.
In Winnie the Pooh, they all do the same activities, but Eyeore never enjoys them. Eyeore is a negative thinker. Rabbit doesn't enjoy them, he is always stressed and in a hurry. Piglet worries all the time. Only Pooh is in the moment and enjoys each moment. Pooh is the simple one who takes life moment by moment and makes the best of each of them. It is this simple.
That is positive thinking.
Every waking moment you have either a negative or positive thought in your head. ALL these philosophies teach is that you can choose which thoughts you focus on and put your attention on. Again, you are making it much more than it is, and attributing a lot of far-out wacky things to a very simple, old-as-time philosophy. You'll find writings on it even from ancient Greek philosophers.
But that's NOT what happens, that is plain ridiculous. A normal example would be losing a job. BOTH people are going to take action to find a new job, neither are going to hide from the fact they lost their job...but you CAN choose how you think about it. You can think dark, scary thoughts about what might happen, and feel hopeless and helpless, or you can choose to think "This sucks, but I'm confident it'll all work out - maybe I'll even find a better job than that one". THAT is all it is, and it is not new. In the old days they said learn "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade" THAT is positive thinking in a nutshell.
In Winnie the Pooh, they all do the same activities, but Eyeore never enjoys them. Eyeore is a negative thinker. Rabbit doesn't enjoy them, he is always stressed and in a hurry. Piglet worries all the time. Only Pooh is in the moment and enjoys each moment. Pooh is the simple one who takes life moment by moment and makes the best of each of them. It is this simple.
That is positive thinking.
Every waking moment you have either a negative or positive thought in your head. ALL these philosophies teach is that you can choose which thoughts you focus on and put your attention on. Again, you are making it much more than it is, and attributing a lot of far-out wacky things to a very simple, old-as-time philosophy. You'll find writings on it even from ancient Greek philosophers.
I know, and I agree. I'm talking about the swaying and braying cult-like mentalities out there, lol.
I have never met a positive thinker that had that much success in life. When I think about the really successful people I know they are all a little cynical and emotionally neutral.
The idea that positive thinking is some sort of requirement for happiness is unfounded.
I do consider the school of positive thinking to be just another of our modern lemming type social preferred norms just like fashion is also.
I think it is merely that thinking positively is more likely to produce good results than thinking negatively will.
I have never met a positive thinker that had that much success in life. When I think about the really successful people I know they are all a little cynical and emotionally neutral.
The idea that positive thinking is some sort of requirement for happiness is unfounded.
I do consider the school of positive thinking to be just another of our modern lemming type social preferred norms just like fashion is also.
^^^This.
When I hear "positive thinking", it doesn't conjure up the nuanced considerations that some of the posts suggest... it's a suppression of anything that could remotely be considered negative. Certainly, you don't want to indulge negative feelings all the time, but the notion that anger or sadness or fatigue needs to instantly be cured or squashed, or even more extreme is something that should never happen, is something I don't agree with, and is what I think of when the term "positive thinking" comes up. Obviously you don't want to wallow indefinitely in self-pity when something bad happens, but it's OK to be "unhappy" for a bit before returning to "find a solution" mode, and I think the "positive thinking" movement is about denying that and returning to "happy" ASAP.
When I hear "positive thinking", it doesn't conjure up the nuanced considerations that some of the posts suggest... it's a suppression of anything that could remotely be considered negative. Certainly, you don't want to indulge negative feelings all the time, but the notion that anger or sadness or fatigue needs to instantly be cured or squashed, or even more extreme is something that should never happen, is something I don't agree with, and is what I think of when the term "positive thinking" comes up. Obviously you don't want to wallow indefinitely in self-pity when something bad happens, but it's OK to be "unhappy" for a bit before returning to "find a solution" mode, and I think the "positive thinking" movement is about denying that and returning to "happy" ASAP.
This may be what you think of when you hear the term, but it couldn't be further from the truth of what it actually is.
I have taken responsibility for my thoughts and see how habits control me. It's a very impersonal process. I don't escape with activities anymore, it's no longer needed. I see my negative thoughts as merely past habits and observe them and focus on cultivating the state of mind I wish to have... Peace, openness, acceptance, relaxation, confidence....while still remaining an introvert who doesn't care to have 300 Facebook friends or extensive knowledge of movies, sports, gossip, etc.
it really is a cult with a dogmatic way of thinking and heavy doses of denial, that makes promises that can't be kept. saying it like it is does not make you "negative" or cynical. in fact, a lot of realists are more optimistic and hopeful than people who can only deal with a sugar-coated version of life. realism breeds mental toughness. constant false positivity opens you up to extreme depression and the inability to make it through the densest parts of the forest.
it really is a cult with a dogmatic way of thinking and heavy doses of denial, that makes promises that can't be kept. saying it like it is does not make you "negative" or cynical. in fact, a lot of realists are more optimistic and hopeful than people who can only deal with a sugar-coated version of life. realism breeds mental toughness. constant false positivity opens you up to extreme depression and the inability to make it through the densest parts of the forest.
But... but... but... if you get depression, it's your fault for not being positive enough, and you can recover from it by smiling more.
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