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This December will mark the 10-year anniversary of my college graduation, and I find it hard to believe time has flown by so quickly.
I'm now 32, married, and my wife and I own a condo together. I have a stable (if boring) 9-5 job and money saved up. Things are great.
However, every so often, I can't help but reflect on my college years, namely 2005-2007.
2005 still stands as perhaps the most consequential year of my life.
It was that year that I transferred from a two-year college to the university. I was aiming to study accounting (which I was pushed into doing by my dad, an accountant) but decided that fall that I didn't want to crunch numbers for the rest of my life. To salvage all the courses I had completed to date, I switched to a different major within the business program -- marketing. I never looked back, and today I work as a marketing copywriter.
In the summer of 2005, I got my first paid job. And in the spring, I hooked up with my now-wife, whom I had met back in the 6th grade. We reconnected on MySpace after losing touch and began dating shortly after.
I guess two things made that time very exciting:
(1) The thrill of being in a new relationship -- the butterflies, seeing your partner get dressed up for you for even the smallest occasions, etc.
(2) the freedom and intellectual stimulation that college provided. I actually missed the tests and papers once I graduated because I was always a very dedicated student. I've considered going back for the master's, but once that's over, then what? Unfortunately, a master's in my field is unlikely to give me a return on my investment, as most employers don't even ask for one.
My wife and I travel now (something we didn't do then) and we're constantly trying out new restaurants, activities, etc. We do whatever we can to keep it fresh and exciting. As for the intellectual stimulation, I read and blog in my spare time. Just yesterday we went to a library we'd never been to before.
Would I want to go back to the year 2005? No, because I think my life and relationship are better than ever.
I suppose I miss the feeling of being young, naive, and with a world of possibilities before me. Back then, my main responsibilities were getting good grades and making a good impression on my then-new girlfriend.
Now, things are more stable, though not as exciting. Being stuck in a cubicle from 9 to 5, worrying about bills and doctor's visits, etc. I know everyone has to "adult" sooner or later. It's life.
I guess I felt I was on a track of sorts back then: get good grades -- graduate -- find a good job - propose to girlfriend -- get married -- buy a place, etc. I've achieved all of those things, so I don't know exactly where I'm headed now.
We're not sure whether we'll be having kids. I don't want to remain in this job forever, as I feel I've outgrown it, so I suppose that's something to look forward to.
All I can do now to relive the past is sift through pics and listen to songs from that era.
Is it normal to reflect on the past this way? Do you ever do the same?
Last edited by Wordsmith12; 05-08-2017 at 10:38 AM..
But I've been told on more than one occasion, "you can't drive forward if you are constantly looking in the rear view mirror."
You haven't accomplished everything, just a list of goals you have set for yourself to this point. Time to start planning some goals with the family and start reaching new heights.
Professionally, you need to set some goals, as well. If you aren't happy in your job, what are you doing about it? Is there continuing education you need to find something else or are you considering an entire career change?
It is fun to look back at a time with fewer responsibilities, but having a family is a game changer.
Is it normal to reflect on the past this way? Do you ever do the same?
Of course.. I always thought most people did. Sounds like you have a nice life now, and a good perspective on things though. Enjoy your memories and don't worry about it.
"You know the good old days weren't always good, and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems.."
I am ultra-nostalgic for 2009-2012. I really doubt if I'll ever be that happy again. I was making my own life in a major city and was openly gay and dating. I had a stable but not great job, but the recession where I was living was preventing me from moving forward in my career. In 2012 I moved back to my ultra-conservative hometown and got a much better job, at which I am still employed. In 2013 and 2014 I did ex-gay conversion therapy which didn't work. Since then I've been living in the closet pretty much hating my life and in an ultra-conservative town which in my opinion is one of the worst places to live in the country. I have a decent job though and by most people's standards in this town I am doing pretty well. I bought a new car in 2014 that I couldn't really afford and it prevents me from saving to move, so right now I'm trying to tough it out and make it to 2020 when I get it paid off before moving and trying to live my own life again. In the mean time, I find the nostagia for 2009-2012 sometimes crippling.
The important thing to remember is how we cannot go back, no matter how much we want to. And not only that, if we try to manufacture times gone by, it won't be the same or as fulfilling as it was.
Here is a great video about nostalgia that impacted me a lot.
This December will mark the 10-year anniversary of my college graduation, and I find it hard to believe time has flown by so quickly.
I'm now 32, married, and my wife and I own a condo together. I have a stable (if boring) 9-5 job and money saved up. Things are great.
However, every so often, I can't help but reflect on my college years, namely 2005-2007.
2005 still stands as perhaps the most consequential year of my life.
It was that year that I transferred from a two-year college to the university. I was aiming to study accounting (which I was pushed into doing by my dad, an accountant) but decided that fall that I didn't want to crunch numbers for the rest of my life. To salvage all the courses I had completed to date, I switched to a different major within the business program -- marketing. I never looked back, and today I work as a marketing copywriter.
In the summer of 2005, I got my first paid job. And in the spring, I hooked up with my now-wife, whom I had met back in the 6th grade. We reconnected on MySpace after losing touch and began dating shortly after.
I guess two things made that time very exciting:
(1) The thrill of being in a new relationship -- the butterflies, seeing your partner get dressed up for you for even the smallest occasions, etc.
(2) the freedom and intellectual stimulation that college provided. I actually missed the tests and papers once I graduated because I was always a very dedicated student. I've considered going back for the master's, but once that's over, then what? Unfortunately, a master's in my field is unlikely to give me a return on my investment, as most employers don't even ask for one.
My wife and I travel now (something we didn't do then) and we're constantly trying out new restaurants, activities, etc. We do whatever we can to keep it fresh and exciting. As for the intellectual stimulation, I read and blog in my spare time. Just yesterday we went to a library we'd never been to before.
Would I want to go back to the year 2005? No, because I think my life and relationship are better than ever.
I suppose I miss the feeling of being young, naive, and with a world of possibilities before me. Back then, my main responsibilities were getting good grades and making a good impression on my then-new girlfriend.
Now, things are more stable, though not as exciting. Being stuck in a cubicle from 9 to 5, worrying about bills and doctor's visits, etc. I know everyone has to "adult" sooner or later. It's life.
I guess I felt I was on a track of sorts back then: get good grades -- graduate -- find a good job - propose to girlfriend -- get married -- buy a place, etc. I've achieved all of those things, so I don't know exactly where I'm headed now.
We're not sure whether we'll be having kids. I don't want to remain in this job forever, as I feel I've outgrown it, so I suppose that's something to look forward to.
All I can do now to relive the past is sift through pics and listen to songs from that era.
Is it normal to reflect on the past this way? Do you ever do the same?
I hear you, stability is nice and comfortable but can be boring. That's a good thing you feel you have outgrown your current position. That means you are ready for something bigger and better, but it's up to you to find it.
Yes everyone has to adult sooner or later, but don't ever lose that sparkle in your eyes, pep in your step, and erect carriage in your posture!!
You still have a world of possibilities but you have to change your perception a little. It's good to be realistic but someone else's boring realty and existence doesn't have to be yours. It sounds like you do have a great life being able to travel, savings, good wife, and you are so young still, so young.... I'm 28 and I feel like a baby.... Keep up your health and fitness, eat well, take stock of all the things you are grateful for, imagine how much worse it can be, and start setting some new goals. Realize that nothing stays the same for ever, that change is inevitable whether you like it or not and live in the moment but don't forget your past or your journey. Reflection time and evaluating our experiences is healthy and helps us grow!
There are certain feelings I have from my early 20's that I don't think I will ever replicate.
My college years were some of the best years of my life. And part of that was having very little responsibility.
Growing up requires that we recognize our new and gathered responsibilities. That we have people that look to us and expect us to be responsible. Life isn't all about self-happiness; it's a lot more complex than that.
Looking back on those times are fine, but I would hope and as you have intimated, that you're a different person now. And that you wouldn't necessarily go back to that time because you have matured and your relationships have matured.
I think by focusing on how we can improve ourselves, to learn about the world and even spiritually, that the future is, or can be, much more brighter than looking back at the slightly glimmering baubles covered in dust that is nostalgia.
And that takes work. And work is something a lot of people aren't willing to do. Part of that work is courageous and taking an educated leap.
And then there's also being content. There's obviously nothing wrong with not wanting more and being happy with what you have. However it sounds like you aren't. So find out what that is and change it.
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