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I disagree that everyone lies. When I find out you've lied to me once, I get to decide whether I want to believe anything else you say to me. I reunited with a childhood friend and witnessed her smooth lies - ones that weren't even necessary. It was revolting. Of course she also lied to me when it was not necessary. I stopped communicating with her. That's too much like manufactured drama.
You are very rigid and inflexible in your point of view. It's my opinion that people in general like others to be more flexible in relationships, that rigidity is often considered as an undesirable characteristic.
You are very rigid and inflexible in your point of view. It's my opinion that people in general like others to be more flexible in relationships, that rigidity is often considered as an undesirable characteristic.
Let's do a hypothetical. Let's say I'm your girlfriend. Which lies would be acceptable?
When you give me something and I say I love it and later you find out I gave it away - or leave it on a shelf unused? Wouldn't it be better if I gently and in love, express appreciation but explain why I can't eat that, wear that, use that - maybe I already have one of those. Which makes for a better relationship in the long run. What if you later hear from someone else that I laughed about your gift and tossed it in the trash.
If I decide to go out with the girls to dance and ogle guys I can make something up so you think I'm working late.
You don't like me seeing my ex boyfriend but I continue to have lunch with him every couple of weeks and tell you I'm with a client.
I tell you I'm cutting back on calories and going to the gym but I continue to blow up like a whale because I'm tossing back a pint of Ben & Jerry's every night.
Any of this perfectly fine for you? To prove a point you have to take it to the extreme. If one lie is okay than any lie should be okay.
How about my childhood "friend" who had other plans for Memorial Day. Could she not say "I already made plans, sorry. Let's take a rain check." But no, she makes up some lie about not taking the boat out and on a later visit her daughter is telling a "Memorial Day on the boat" story. Sorry. I don't need to be around someone who can lie that easily. (and I'd already witnessed pointless lies she easily threw out to others)
I've got some great friends who love me for who I am. We are all an honest bunch. I'm not as rigid as you might think.
Let's do a hypothetical. Let's say I'm your girlfriend. Which lies would be acceptable?
Without going through your entire list, there are plenty of third-rail issues I have in relationships: touch them and love dies. #1 issue is unfaithfulness.
Never the less, we all tell lies. But you make good posts!
Aw damn! The forum won't let me +rep you. Oh, wait, that's my mouse finger twitching problem come back to haunt me!
Let's do a hypothetical. Let's say I'm your girlfriend. Which lies would be acceptable?
When you give me something and I say I love it and later you find out I gave it away - or leave it on a shelf unused? Wouldn't it be better if I gently and in love, express appreciation but explain why I can't eat that, wear that, use that - maybe I already have one of those. Which makes for a better relationship in the long run. What if you later hear from someone else that I laughed about your gift and tossed it in the trash.
If I decide to go out with the girls to dance and ogle guys I can make something up so you think I'm working late.
You don't like me seeing my ex boyfriend but I continue to have lunch with him every couple of weeks and tell you I'm with a client.
I tell you I'm cutting back on calories and going to the gym but I continue to blow up like a whale because I'm tossing back a pint of Ben & Jerry's every night.
Any of this perfectly fine for you? To prove a point you have to take it to the extreme. If one lie is okay than any lie should be okay.
How about my childhood "friend" who had other plans for Memorial Day. Could she not say "I already made plans, sorry. Let's take a rain check." But no, she makes up some lie about not taking the boat out and on a later visit her daughter is telling a "Memorial Day on the boat" story. Sorry. I don't need to be around someone who can lie that easily. (and I'd already witnessed pointless lies she easily threw out to others)
I've got some great friends who love me for who I am. We are all an honest bunch. I'm not as rigid as you might think.
This is NOT the topic. This is not about deception, it's about examples of "excuses" more so than lies, such as I gave for not having called my mom last week. What on earth good would come out of telling my 85 year old mother that I didn't feel like talking to her? Why do you think it's less ethical for me to just say I had a busy week and forgot?
Not one person here has said anything about it being okay to deceive someone or betray their trust, but these things just do not fall into that category (that is what the poster meant by rigid I believe, seeing it as black and white while much of life is shades of gray.
If I witness a car accident on the highway and I end up consoling a frightened stranger that I can see is dying, and he asks me how it looks, I am going to do the KIND thing and reassure him that it's going to be fine, the ambulance is on its' way and try to make him less scared. What kind of cruel person would say "I predict by the rate of blood loss you'll be dead inside of 1-2 minutes"??? Is that sort of "honesty" noble to you? To me it's incredibly selfish.
The focus of this topic is the telling of social lies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IamDot
I'm starting to lie to people now and it feels good! Little white lies, here and there and big fat black lies too. Since I've determined that everyone lies to me, why should I be so high and mighty with the truth? Nobody give's a rat's patooty about the TRUTH. All that matters is what makes a person feel good. I feel good telling lies. They feel good telling lies. We all feel good telling lies!
Science proves the inherent danger of unvarnished truth.
Women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
It's much simpler than that. Women plain live longer than men, period!
Mmm... Maybe because men have to put up with women?
Every day the odds get better and better for me! Finally I'm making all the right lifestyle choices in life, the ones that make it likely to live longer. Meanwhile my fellows are dropping like flies!
Oops... I just made a bad. Comment above? Bad lifestyle decision: must remember to place brain in gear before opening mouth. Making women mad is likely to lead to a man's decreased life expectancy!
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonesg
Women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
And for the record, that's for damned sure!!!
If I +rep you will you let me live?
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I'm not as rigid as you might think.
