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I'm starting to lie to people now and it feels good! Little white lies, here and there and big fat black lies too. Since I've determined that everyone lies to me, why should I be so high and mighty with the truth? Nobody give's a rat's patooty about the TRUTH. All that matters is what makes a person feel good. I feel good telling lies. They feel good telling lies. We all feel good telling lies!
When I just don't feel like being somewhere one time - oops there was too much traffic!
When I don't feel like answering the phone - oops I was so very busy!
When I don't feel like doing something for someone - oops, I was sick!
Damn, telling lies is so easy, efficient and wonderful for everyone involved.
I have known two people who lied about stuff. One of them lied continually and another lied about events in her life as she told stories about her life. You think others will not notice, but they do. And their estimation of you will go down.
Here's a question for you: do you lie to enhance your status or to cover up a mistake? Or do you lie to spare someone else's feelings, or to keep peace in an emotional exchange? If your answer is the former, then please do stop lying. You are doing yourself no favor. And some time when you need someone to believe you, they won't. More to the point, others will never respect you, because lying almost always get found out. It really does.
I think there is a form of pathogenic liar, a person who gets a thrill out of the mere act of fooling people. It is arguably a part of antisocial personality disorder, and I see it as a variation of narcissism. Maybe a distinction of manipulation of people for manipulation sake, as opposed to manipulation as a form of controlling others and orchestrating circumstances to benefit the perpetrator in some way.
I sometimes wonder about myself and my lifelong interest in psychology, my college minor in psych, my continuing interest to this day. I just want to understand why people do things, and also want to understand my own position in the psychological-social strata in order to get along better with my fellows. It has been an interesting journey.
Some people enjoy telling stories, and they are very interesting and entertaining people. I have had the fortune to have known many such people, and charisma is the coin of their trade. Yet more accentuated and they tell "tall stories," a difference only in degree. Then you have the pathological liar who may not even understand the distinction between fiction and reality. Perhaps they are merely attention wh***s who discovered that telling big lies gains them attention and favor.
I'm starting to lie to people now and it feels good! Little white lies, here and there and big fat black lies too. Since I've determined that everyone lies to me, why should I be so high and mighty with the truth? Nobody give's a rat's patooty about the TRUTH. All that matters is what makes a person feel good. I feel good telling lies. They feel good telling lies. We all feel good telling lies!
When I just don't feel like being somewhere one time - oops there was too much traffic!
When I don't feel like answering the phone - oops I was so very busy!
When I don't feel like doing something for someone - oops, I was sick!
Damn, telling lies is so easy, efficient and wonderful for everyone involved.
Yeah but if you don't lie and other people do, sure it makes life more difficult but at least you have the satisfaction of knowing you are more honest than most people, and I'm sure you'd find some other people out there similarly as honest.
But I agree, in my experience most people are very good liars, in fact they are naturals. I am very bad at it myself, and I don't like to lie. But in every case where I've been in a situation where an argument happened or something, every time, I've admitted my mistakes and the other person just lied through their teeth. These are usually the kind of people who always get what they want in life, get promotions, get believed by everyone, yes it truly does seem that society belongs to the liars and fakers.
My conclusion though, uphold your own honesty and don't drop to their level. These people might appear more "successful", yeah, but for someone like me, all I see is someone I can never respect, and who has no moral courage/conscience and I despise them.
Right so bring birth certificate, measuring tape and weighing scales instead of the traditional flowers and chocolates on the first date! LMAO
First date is usually for lunch, or cocktails after work. But seriously if somebody states their height or weight on a dating site profile, it's not like you need some measure when you first meet them in person, only to discover if they were very imaginative or creative in filling out their profile.
Ex: I'm rather petite and if I meet some guy who understated his weight by a huge amount, I'm not worrying about sexual attraction, I may be worrying about gravitational attraction! Trust me, gravitational attraction is not good!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Northnomad
My conclusion though, uphold your own honesty and don't drop to their level. These people might appear more "successful", yeah, but for someone like me, all I see is someone I can never respect, and who has no moral courage/conscience and I despise them.
As always in life, do the best you can, try to understand the people around you. Nobody is perfect, some less than others. But in real life we must deal with them all.
First date is usually for lunch, or cocktails after work. But seriously if somebody states their height or weight on a dating site profile, it's not like you need some measure when you first meet them in person, only to discover if they were very imaginative or creative in filling out their profile.
Ex: I'm rather petite and if I meet some guy who understated his weight by a huge amount, I'm not worrying about sexual attraction, I may be worrying about gravitational attraction! Trust me, gravitational attraction is not good!
As always in life, do the best you can, try to understand the people around you. Nobody is perfect, some less than others. But in real life we must deal with them all.
Hahahaha yes I know my love that's a good example and btw I really am 187lbs, 5'9 and 32
I don't use it myself but as a patron of the relationships forum I've heard a few " classics " shall we say...... Everything from one that was 7 inches shorter than he claimed, one that was 13 years older and best of all..... A different gender! LMAO
So yes there are liars about but I can laugh about a good few
I was thinking about this the other day. I have a friend who told me that he hates liars, and I thought to myself "everybody lies." For example, at a job interview, you tell the interviewer that you are seeking a position with more growth potential but the real reason you are looking for a new job is that you can't stand your boss. Of course you can't say that or you won't get the job. Then when people ask me if I like my job, I smile and say "yes" even though I utterly detest it. I don't want to go through all of the reasons why I hate the place, so I just tell a white lie.
I do think that absolute truth-telling is rare. So rare, they made at least one movie about it.
I knew a man who claims to hate liars. The reality is, he isn't very good at reading social cues and has been taken many times because he cannot tell when people are lying. So it isn't just hate, it's FEAR. He lies, he has told many lies. I've caught him in some of them.
I can usually get a vague sense of when someone is lying. I won't always know the particulars of exactly where the lie is or what the real truth is, but I've got a finely calibrated "gut" (or just recognize nonverbal cues very well.) I am also very skilled at lying. All of this was stuff I learned as coping skills as a kid. You learn to read people when your parents are erratic and have mood disorders and are as likely to smack you as to hug you depending more on how they feel than what you say or do. You've GOT to read them. And you learn to lie when it doesn't feel safe to tell the truth.
As an adult, I can recognize that lying well is a thing I am able to do, but still prefer not to do it. I find ways to answer questions that many people wouldn't want to, truthfully. Sometimes with phrasing, sometimes with humor. The last time a girlfriend asked me if a dress made her butt look fat, I told her, "Oh honey. Do you really think it's fair to blame the dress?" I looked at her seriously for a moment and then we both burst into laughter and she threw a shoe at me. It didn't hurt. Much.
I am an extrovert, but authenticity is also important to me. I don't want to be liked for a fake persona, I want to be liked for who I am. I spent too many years trying to be someone I wasn't, under difficult circumstances. I don't lie about my age (38) height (5'3") weight (120 lbs, give or take about 5 lbs for typical variation) or my sexual history, habits or lifestyle. I don't misrepresent myself in meaningful ways anywhere.
Little white lies, though, or better...little RIGHT lies? Yeah. On occasion. Sure. Especially to people with whom I have no investment of emotion and trust. I've needed to miss work due to a personal situation I didn't want to explain to my boss, so I've said my kid was sick. It was easier. I wouldn't have gotten in trouble either way, but some things are none of my boss's business. I've lied about the whereabouts of an abused friend when her abuser demanded to know where she was. I'd tell that lie again, all day and any day. I've lied and told my son that I could not afford to buy him something frivolous, when in fact I could but it would be a bad choice.
Actually, here is a funny one. I took a day off work because I wasn't feeling very well. (Told my boss the truth, really wasn't.) But I knew that if I let on to my teenage son that I was sick, he being kind of a hypochondriac (and loving an excuse to miss school) would immediately also claim to be sick. There is no way he would do anything but. So when he came home from school and I was there, I told him that our computer systems were down at work, and they sent us home early. (Lie!) The next day I was at work. I came back from lunch, and sat down to my desk, and ...the power went out. All systems dark. Turned out a transformer nearby "blew" and word was it was going to take 1-3 hours to get it back up, so we were (I kid you not) sent home early. Well, I couldn't exactly be at home when my son got home again and use the same excuse, he would surely think something was up...so before he got home, I left and went shopping.
One day maybe I'll tell him that story, years from now when he is older.
I am actually not offended at all by lies or liars. I don't mind being lied to that much. I am more apt to question why someone felt like they needed to lie to me.
I don't lie about important stuff. I may lie about the stupid stuff.
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LMAO
