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Many avoid relationships out of choice and I don't see that it prevents them from leading healthy, enjoyable lives. Perhaps they see them as being potentially too difficult to pursue.
To be honest I have quite a lot of freedom being single, and I recognize that I would have to give up a lot of that freedom to become seriously involved with a "significant other." I'm retired but operate a business that places varying demands upon my time, but for the most part I do what I want all day every day. (My business involves mostly telecommuting.) I also have serious business plans for the future which may take up much of my days, but no more than most peoples' daily jobs take, probably less (even with both businesses combined, and I'm phasing out current business).
It would involve a sacrifice of time and autonomy on my part to become involved in a serious relationship, but I am willing to compromise because a good relationship has plenty of benefits to offer, enough so that I wouldn't mind paying the price. However my new business plans involve my dreams, and the price would be too steep for me to give up my dreams for a relationship. Oh hell, I can compromise.
I hope we can all agree that any serious relationship involves sacrifices and compromises. For the right woman I would be willing to give up some of my personal plans and autonomy in exchange for the rewards gained from a good romantic and sexual relationship. I think it is quite possible I may achieve that, but I'm planning my life that I could go either way.
It would involve a sacrifice of time and autonomy on my part to become involved in a serious relationship, but I am willing to compromise because a good relationship has plenty of benefits to offer, enough so that I wouldn't mind paying the price. However my new business plans involve my dreams, and the price would be too steep for me to give up my dreams for a relationship. Oh hell, I can compromise.
I hope we can all agree that any serious relationship involves sacrifices and compromises. For the right woman I would be willing to give up some of my personal plans and autonomy in exchange for the rewards gained from a good romantic and sexual relationship. I think it is quite possible I may achieve that, but I'm planning my life that I could go either way.
I've seen what sacrifices people make when they enter relationships. Especially at my age (33). Which made me realize one thing: I never want a relationship for the rest of my life! I like having a social life too much to do well in a relationship. And I can't imagine meeting a woman over 30 who's the same way.
I'm currently friends with a woman. While I met her last year, in contrast with the friends (male) I've known for 17 years, she's been a good friend to me the whole time. Our greetings are "warmer" than the handshakes or bro-hugs I do with guys, but are still undoubtedly platonic. Although, our hangouts are somewhat couple-like: dance classes, hiking on a trail, movies, etc. We also attend Meetup events together. In the end, each of us gets the fresh perspective of the opposite sex, with no restrictions or obligations that a relationship enforces. Granted, there is also no sexual intimacy, but like I mentioned in my earlier post, I couldn't care less if it ever happens. In fact, I'd prefer that. She hasn't showed interest in it, either.
I thought about me and her dating, and I'm still on the fence. She's younger than me, and still likes to go out and have fun within reason. Much like I do. Which is a far cry from most women my age, whose ideas of fun consist of staying home watching Netflix, romantic dinners for two, and snooty hangouts with other couples. On the other hand, friendships and relationships are vastly different animals. So I like our friendship the way it is, and wouldn't have it any other way.
I think the way 'healthy' and 'normal' are used can be logical fallacies. In regards to sex and romance, people who are in their mid-30s and are currently/ never been engaged in more than 1-2 relationships or 1-2 sexual encounters can be considered 'not the norm' by a lot of people. Even people who consider themselves asexual (orientation) are often criticized by psychologists who are pro-sex with the 'normal and healthy' mantra.
The question is though, whether not partaking in both of these is really a negative thing. I've been reading about a phenomenon of incels (involuntary celibates) on Reddit and other forums where it's obvious that it's affecting these guys who are between 18-30. An extreme example you may know of is Elliot Rodger, the 23 year old rich kid who went on a mass rampage in May of 2014 due to his lack of sex and friendships.
But taking those who are content with not wanting to have sex, masturbate or be in relationships (active avoidance) and don't experience emotional distress that would cause homicidal/suicidal depressive acts, is this necessarily something to be cured?
A number of things.
First of all, in the DSM-IV-TR, practically every condition (I think pedophilia was the exception) had the clause about if it caused the holder a problem. So if it isn't a problem to "you", don't worry about it.
On the other side of the coin though, secondly, there is how we may appear to the outside world as "normal" but the world does not know what measures one might take to maintain stability.
Then, thirdly, there is what I learned, as I recall, about personalities such as the 5 stages (in one set of theories). Stage 5 is where one is concerned intimately for another where Stage 4 is where one learns to be concerned for society. Is a Stage 4 person "flawed"? Not necessarily for such a person could be a Priest or a dedicated DEA agent. They have found a walk of life that enables them to live in agreement with themselves.
Which comes down to some of us. For whatever reason, for whatever motivation, we have learned to live in agreement with ourselves. For example in my case, my sexual relationship energy is DUMPED directly into how I relate to people. Picture it like being Robin Meade everyday, all the time, ie, like this:
Long story short, it's about being the person you want to be, that you agree with....................and finding the places you can get away with it.
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