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On Father's Day, my teen daughter and I went to a fairly high end restaurant for lunch, while we were out shopping. The hostess was downright rude and said she had no seats inside and we needed to eat outside. The dining room was empty, when I looked around and she quickly said "I have reservations." Fine we go outside. The server then takes our drink orders, we both ordered water to start. I was still looking at the wine and food menu to decide what I was having that would pair well together. The server returned and slammed the water glasses down on the table. I looked at my daughter and we both stood up and left.
We walked down the street and went into an Italian restaurant. The hostess was willing to sit us inside, but were still not overly friendly. At this point I am wondering what the heck is going on. I have plenty of money to pay for our meals and probably everyone else that was dining there at the time. Sure I have on Capri pants, flip flops and a t shirt, but my cash is just as green as everyone else.
Last night my BF (very blue color, but high salary) wanted to return to the first place that was rude, so five us went for dessert. The server was still kind of rude until he mentioned that we dine all the time at their competitor which is very high end, ($200-$300 for 2 people to have dinner) then suddenly the server was bending over backwards. The place was empty and dessert for 5 people was still $75.00 plus tip. We left her a $20 to make a point that she should not judge a book by the cover.
Many years ago, my husband who was a mechanic, stopped at a car dealer on his way home, to look at cars for me. I had already looked at them, and requested a SUV that was sticker price of $70k, so he swung in to check them out before giving me the go ahead to get the one I wanted. He asked to see the cars, and the sales guy told him he could not afford the car. He said fine. And he bought me another make and model down the road. He took the car back to the original sales guy to show him what he had just paid cash for. I am still a little sour because if the original sales guy had not pissed him off, I would have actually gotten the car I really wanted.
What is up with this? Why would people discriminate against people and not treat them like the paying customer that they are?
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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Employees that "judge a book by it's cover" are demonstrating poor management/training. I would, at the very least, post this on Yelp, and perhaps email the restaurant owner. In the case of a server, being motivated by the potential tip is something that the managers/owners should be looking out for and stopping. They are in business to make money, they get some profits whether you spend a little or a lot, and they need to explain to the servers that it's the quality of their service that gets them a good tip.
If you were wearing flip flops and expected to eat at a "high-end restaurant", I don't think that's discrimination. That's their clumsy attempt to enforce an unspoken dress code. If I were dressed like that, I would expect to be seated outside. Of course, slamming down drinks doesn't help anyone. That is poor customer service.
Discrimination is something you have no control over. Your race, sex, etc. Choosing to dress casually isn't a protected status.
Also, the part of the country will make a difference. If you did this in Hawaii, nobody would bat an eyelash. I think it's a lot different on the East Coast or in the Midwest.
Even though how you dress shouldn't matter, I know from experience that it does. I have consistently experienced better customer service when I dress better, do my hair nicely and put earrings and lipstick on. The very obvious difference even applies when we have workers come to my home, and they know us. Unfortunately, it took me years to realize this. It isn't fair, but it happens all the time.
One time I went to buy a lipstick at a local Herberger's. I was out doing errands and was dressed very casually, clean T-shirt, jeans and sneakers, no makeup. I went up to the Clinique counter where these three saleswomen were standing and chatting. I said, "Can you show me a nice rosy pink lipstick?" They looked at me and actually laughed. Finally, two of them stepped away, pointing to the third as if to say, "You're It!" The third one slowly peeled herself away from where she had been leaning on the counter, waved her hand in the general direction of the Clinique lipstick array, and without meeting my eyes, said, "Lipstick's over there." She never even came out from behind the counter. I was offended, to the point where I sent an email to Clinique (they sent me three free lipsticks to make up for it, but I will never buy that brand again because of their poor customer service training).
I had a friend who was a nurse midwife. She was a very "sandals and granola" type person who didn't do a lot of makeup, etc. A couple of years ago, she was telling me that she had just been scheduled to go into the hospital for a procedure. She looked down at her unpainted toes and said with a sigh, "I'm going to have to go in for a pedicure before I go into the hospital. They treat you better if you're well groomed." I said, "But the procedure is on your jaw, not your feet." She said, "It doesn't matter, they see your feet and they judge you." Yikes.
A side note: Because when I have my hair cut very short, I tend to look quite butch (not that there's anything wrong with that), if I want good service right after a haircut, I have to double up on the lipstick and wear extremely feminine clothing and jewelry, because the service I get otherwise is absolutely horrendous. Again, not fair, but very eye-opening as far as what a lot of people deal with on a daily basis. I've learned to compensate for people's preconceptions, but it's tiresome and I wish it weren't this way.
If you were wearing flip flops and expected to eat at a "high-end restaurant", I don't think that's discrimination. That's their clumsy attempt to enforce an unspoken dress code. If I were dressed like that, I would expect to be seated outside. Of course, slamming down drinks doesn't help anyone. That is poor customer service.
Discrimination is something you have no control over. Your race, sex, etc. Choosing to dress casually isn't a protected status.
Also, the part of the country will make a difference. If you did this in Hawaii, nobody would bat an eyelash. I think it's a lot different on the East Coast or in the Midwest.
I always dress casual. I am not sure the dress was entirely the issue, because in the second restaurant other people were wearing shorts and casual attire. It was lunch time. I do not wear makeup and the jewelry I wear is the same that I wear every day. Which if someone knows jewelry, they would know that my daily jewelry has a value equivalent of buying a small brand new car.
And by all means if you want people to dress to the hilt, put that on the door. I read the sign that says shoes, and shirts required, and I am "got that, let's eat."
Last edited by LowonLuck; 06-20-2017 at 08:36 AM..
Employees that "judge a book by it's cover" are demonstrating poor management/training. I would, at the very least, post this on Yelp, and perhaps email the restaurant owner. In the case of a server, being motivated by the potential tip is something that the managers/owners should be looking out for and stopping. They are in business to make money, they get some profits whether you spend a little or a lot, and they need to explain to the servers that it's the quality of their service that gets them a good tip.
Right, you should definitely call or email the restaurant manager and explain the situation. Not that you should be aiming for free stuff, but if you frame it as "we were so disappointed by the service at your establishment that we will most likely never return," that will hit them where it hurts the most, the cash register. I'm thinking like that scene in Pretty Woman where she goes into the shop where everyone was rude to her, flashes her bags and says, "you work on commission, right? Big mistake."
Right, you should definitely call or email the restaurant manager and explain the situation. Not that you should be aiming for free stuff, but if you frame it as "we were so disappointed by the service at your establishment that we will most likely never return," that will hit them where it hurts the most, the cash register.
But that's just it. We eat out a lot and running out of restaurants if we keep removing them off the list.
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