Are there any "steamrollers" in your life? (narcissists, boyfriend, dating)
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I put this here because we may know someone like this in a romantic OR non-romantic context. I know a couple of people who tend to run right over people with their words and actions (figuratively speaking). My mother is one of these people. One of my friends is another one. They love to tell people what to do and they are very poor listeners. They have little regard for the feelings of others. The thing that I have noticed, funny enough, is that they seem rather thin-skinned when you disagree with them, no matter how tactfully and diplomatically that you do it. The second that they hear something they do not like, the conversation is over and they take off. I limit conversation with my mother and with my friend due to this, but seeing as my friend is also my neighbor, cannot avoid her 100% and I would at least like to be civil with these two. Anyone have anyone like this in their lives?
It's a characteristic of narcissists that they are very thin-skinned. They don't mind putting other people down, subtly or overtly, but when the tables are turned, or if someone merely points out that they're being rude, they make themselves out to be victims of someone being "mean". Or as you say, they end the conversation and retreat.
As for telling people what to do, I have a brother who constantly gives unsolicited advice (in between bragging about himself), but it's always bad advice! I don't know how people like this have any friends, but they do actually have a few friends.
Some wouldn't even notice. Some are able to blather on for an hour or more, talking about themselves, then thank you for the great opportunity to catch up on news with you, as if you'd actually managed to get a word in edgewise. It's that bit, where they believe they've actually exchanged info with you, and had a productive visit, that really lays bare the level of mental illness involved.
In my shop I'm known as the Old A-hole. The youngsters don't like me because when I get back from the field I run around biotching at them because they can't do anything right or in a timely manner. How long does it take to clean the toilet? 10 minutes. They seem to think that the 10 minutes a week is better spent on their cellphones up dating their Facebook page.
They recently moved a large lathe that was bolted to the concrete floor. They left the anchors, 3/4 in thick bolts 5 in high sticking out of the concrete floor instead of cutting them off with a grinder. These bolts stayed that way for 2 weeks until I dogged them to hell and gone to remove them before somebody tripped on them.
One of them left a 1 in rod sticking out of a machine across a walkway at shin height and Fran a girl in the office almost caught it and landed on her face. I'm a steamroller around there, Terrence who's the supervisor just doesn't have time to ride herd on these guys. He always has a grin when he sees me.
We HAD on steamroller in our bridge group, she was always RIGHT and very far RIGHT to boot. She steamrolled over everyone or thought she did. I threw my cards down one day and said I'm walking out if this doesn't stop.
She finally after a long while is gone, she was pushed out over the years. Too bad she was what she is, she was a good bridge player. But everything a person did, she would critique everyone and their choices. grrrrrrrrrrrr
It's a characteristic of narcissists that they are very thin-skinned. They don't mind putting other people down, subtly or overtly, but when the tables are turned, or if someone merely points out that they're being rude, they make themselves out to be victims of someone being "mean". Or as you say, they end the conversation and retreat.
As for telling people what to do, I have a brother who constantly gives unsolicited advice (in between bragging about himself), but it's always bad advice! I don't know how people like this have any friends, but they do actually have a few friends.
What prompted the thread was that the other day my friend/neighbor were sitting on my porch talking. She asked me about work and I told her that I was on a temporary assignment and doing well. (It's turning into a permanent opportunity - a lateral move - that I am going to be interviewing for sometime next week.) Then she starts to harangue me about why I don't want to go into management. I said that I have been in management in the past and have no desire to do it again. She then has the nerve to say, "I don't know why you don't want to make more money and better yourself." This got me really po'ed, because she knows that I quit drinking, found a church that I liked, am eating healthy, exercising, and I just had come home from the first dance class I've ever taken in my life. I am going to support groups and complying with treatment for my health. And I am not bettering myself?! I had to break down for her the difference between a non-exempt and an exempt employee, and that I've already had the experience of working a ton of hours and undergoing a lot of stress for 40 hours a week pay. I like what I am doing a lot better. Not that I owe her an explanation, but she finally shut up. I asked her how things were with her boyfriend, and she said he was a liar, etc. He apparently didn't get her anything for her birthday last month because "she isn't a nice person". This is by far not the first time that this has happened to her. The guy before that broke up with her and, though she had a long list of complaints about him, she was upset because she didn't break up with him first. This last one didn't kiss her behind when she said that their relationship had run it's course, and that made her mad, too. After she told me what happened with this last one, she abruptly had to go. I have to take her in small doses.
There are just SOME one can't Get To. So have to back off more and more.
A friend tells me about her mom who died in her 70's, that every every time she called her mother, her mother went on non stop about how awful everything is and this could go on for an hour or so. Her mother would never ask how my friend or her daughter was but it was all about her. My friends likes to talk but her mother, good grief.
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