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She works at a non-profit. Apparently most of her co-workers and boss are women because she complains a lot about how awful the women there are, says they're "*******" and all sorts of things. Even said if she could get away with it she'd like to punch her boss in the face.
Basically she says the women there are mean/cruel especially her boss.
You've said your kids are scared of her. That's just unacceptable.
And I'm sorry, but having worked a high-pressure job for a decade that brought me to the edge of a nervous breakdown more than once, bitchy coworkers don't even rank on my personal scale of things to worry about. She sounds like her coping skills are minimal.
If I were you, I would 1) get the girls into therapy and 2) get you and your wife into marriage counseling. If she refuses to go or to address the alcoholism issue, then start documenting everything.
In fact, the next time she gets drunk and awful, film her. Then play it back for her when she's sober. Actually, do that whenever she gets drunk. You need documentation.
Yeah, I have suggested such but she says it's hard for her to find a new job. At least one that pays as well as this one.
That's interesting, as usually non-profits don't pay as well as for-profit, corporate jobs. Encourage her to keep trying; in the meantime, though, she probably needs therapy and help for her coping skills. Again, best of luck to you.
Yeah, I have suggested such but she says it's hard for her to find a new job. At least one that pays as well as this one.
A well paying non-profit? Turning into an alcoholic after only 3 months, a mean one at that, and the kids are scared?
So the money is more important, apparently.
I took a promotion that I really didn't want (was more like forced into the position). I did it for 3 years, hated my boss and I didn't turn into an alcoholic. I stepped down because I was tired of going home angry and waking up in the morning dreading to go in to the office.
Your job as a parent is to protect your children from trauma. That means protecting them from abuse, neglect and the spectacle of a parent out of control. I can't imagine how emotionally unsafe your wife makes them feel.
Beware that if you allow your children to be traumatized before their brains achieve maturity, you will be dealing with plenty of adult problems. Just read some of the posts by the confused, deluded, angry and messed up folks who come here asking for help. It all goes back to the environment in which they were raised.
Your job as a parent is to protect your children from trauma. That means protecting them from abuse, neglect and the spectacle of a parent out of control. I can't imagine how emotionally unsafe your wife makes them feel.
Beware that if you allow your children to be traumatized before their brains achieve maturity, you will be dealing with plenty of adult problems. Just read some of the posts by the confused, deluded, angry and messed up folks who come here asking for help. It all goes back to the environment in which they were raised.
+1.
OP, what steps are you taking to protect your children?
I don't get why she just quit the job and find the one that does not make her drink. OP, you said her job pays well. Well, where do you think most of it is spent? Alcohol. You do know how expensive they are. Drill that into her head calculate how much she spent on alcohol and HIGH TAX!! for it.
If she is throwing bottles at YOU, that could be assault. And she could even falsely claim to the police that YOU threw the bottle instead of her. So, consider taking photos of any property damage and prepare for other legal protection.
If it deteriorates a LOT further, you may have to work with your attorney, making arrangements to protect yourself and the kids. This might be some sort of registered statement that "I can no longer deal with her because she is physically abusive."
This would legally authorize you to seek social services if she continues to deny and refuse help.
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