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The point behind the parable is you need to take time for yourself -- vacation -- get away from it all -- do something just for you. Relax.
I would add an idea of taking your time in between the jobs (depending on how comfortable you are changing jobs - there are some fields where job hopping increases your salary). Especially for an introvert, taking 2-3 months of unemployment insurance in between jobs is like finding fresh water after a long journey in a desert.
I would definitely agree with the suggestion of finding a partner - although it is also easier said than done.
When I got out of a fairly long term relationship and moved in to my own apartment things have gotten so much, much harder. Financially, psychologically and everything in between.
You're missing the thing that makes it worthwhile. It doesn't matter what it is, but there has to be that balance between the things you have to do and things that you enjoy. It doesn't matter if it's vegging in front of the TV if that's what you like to do. Get some great TV and enjoy it.
So I might suggest finding a club or class or place you want to go and doing something outside your routine once a week or even once a month. It's that something to look forward to, the reward for doing all the things you have to do. It could also be finding a job that's more satisfying and doesn't leave you feeling so drained. It's OK to be introverted to some degree and get enough socializing at work, but maybe if you had co-workers whose company you liked more or if you felt you had done something worthwhile all day, that can lift your energy level a lot.
So true, many peoples problems would subside by giving the soul what it needs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GiGi603
I often feel the same way. I feel like I could have written your words. I watched a video that was about weight loss a few years ago, it had a segment about one of the reasons people eat too much is that their vital needs are not being met. I think about that one a lot for all of life.
You are lacking your vital needs. Figure out what you really enjoy and fit that into your life. As I am in the same boat--just getting my motivation to meet my vital needs is not happening. I guess we need to do baby steps. Like you, I find socializing draining. For me it has always been a desire to rock babies at a children's hospital. I think if I did that a few hours a month I would feel better. Maybe for you find something that you enjoy as a hobby or interest. https://tinybuddha.com/blog/9-basic-...ppy-and-alive/
I know I was happier when I was raising kids. I had people that needed me, loved me, adored me. I had this purpose in life and I would get a lot more done. Now my kids are grown and I feel almost the same as you. My kids had been my vital need. It kept me going, it made me feel valued. Now I just feel like I am walking through life feeling overwhelmed. I know I have to work on filling my vital needs to feel better. It is like a vicious cycle, how do I get motivated to fill them when I feel overwhelmed
Why does it seem like so many people can handle life and I am barely able to take care of myself properly? To be more specific, working full time, taking care of my house, dogs, cooking, cleaning, bills, errands, takes all of my energy and I barely get all that done as it should be. I am in my late 20s, all I want to do on the nights after work is eat and veg out and if I make weekend plans I usually regret it. I can't imagine adding kids to the mix. I feel like I can't have fun anymore since starting working 2 years ago because I'm just burnt out.. Everything that needs to be done is just overwhelming and I want to give up some days. I know I am somewhat introverted, not extreme by any means, but socializing is draining to me and I do it all day at work, so this may be part of it. I dont know how to snap out of this cycle, any advice or similar feelings are welcomed, thanks in advance
Guess what? Sounds like you are an HSP (highly sensitive person). Its actually in the diagnostic manual now. Its not another catch-all disorder made up to sell pills- its a measurable thing. Studies were done showing that children and babies who reacted to loud noises with excessive cortisol in their blood wound up being HSP's. I know, because I am one too.
Do you have a sense of things when you walk into a room, can pick up moods of other people easily? Are you easily effected by your environment? You said social situations exhausted you, that's another thing. When you are sensitive to all stimuli it makes sense.
Make sure you read about it- maybe i am way off base, but it could be very helpful to learn about it. It helped me. Good luck.
I can so relate, OP! Our lifestyles are different (I'm married with kids) but I sometimes have felt how you described feeling - yes, even with a partner. (Sometimes partners, though you love them and they are wonderful, also just add to the things that need your attention or time.)
Exercise helps me, too. Also LISTS. I have to keep lists and a calendar.
Also, I've learned over time to break things down into small jobs. Maybe my whole yard is full of weeds and everything needs attention - but rather than become overwhelmed by my whole yard, I choose to focus on one area of it. It feels good to accomplish even small goals knowing that you got something done, and the rest can wait.
Maybe my whole house feels cluttered, but I'll choose to just focus on one room a day until it's back in order.
My personally biggest issue/stress is bathrooms. With two sons and my husband, I just can't seem to keep them clean (to my standards) all the time. So I tend to focus on areas of the bathrooms - one day I clean all the sinks. The next day I clean all the toilets, etc. Because when I was trying to keep all the bathrooms super clean all the time I felt like I was always cleaning bathrooms yet they were never all clean. It is so frustrating. (I dunno what it is but boys - at least my boys - wreck bathrooms.)
Good luck and try not to be too hard on yourself. I think what you're feeling is totally normal, it's just that a lot of people just don't talk about it openly.
I often feel the same way. I feel like I could have written your words. I watched a video that was about weight loss a few years ago, it had a segment about one of the reasons people eat too much is that their vital needs are not being met. I think about that one a lot for all of life.
You are lacking your vital needs. Figure out what you really enjoy and fit that into your life. As I am in the same boat--just getting my motivation to meet my vital needs is not happening. I guess we need to do baby steps. Like you, I find socializing draining. For me it has always been a desire to rock babies at a children's hospital. I think if I did that a few hours a month I would feel better. Maybe for you find something that you enjoy as a hobby or interest. https://tinybuddha.com/blog/9-basic-...ppy-and-alive/
I know I was happier when I was raising kids. I had people that needed me, loved me, adored me. I had this purpose in life and I would get a lot more done. Now my kids are grown and I feel almost the same as you. My kids had been my vital need. It kept me going, it made me feel valued. Now I just feel like I am walking through life feeling overwhelmed. I know I have to work on filling my vital needs to feel better. It is like a vicious cycle, how do I get motivated to fill them when I feel overwhelmed
Vital : essential to life.
What we enjoy is not vital.
People who are having life purpose problems do well if they tend to their spiritual needs first.
Guess what? Sounds like you are an HSP (highly sensitive person). Its actually in the diagnostic manual now. Its not another catch-all disorder made up to sell pills- its a measurable thing. Studies were done showing that children and babies who reacted to loud noises with excessive cortisol in their blood wound up being HSP's. I know, because I am one too.
Do you have a sense of things when you walk into a room, can pick up moods of other people easily? Are you easily effected by your environment? You said social situations exhausted you, that's another thing. When you are sensitive to all stimuli it makes sense.
Make sure you read about it- maybe i am way off base, but it could be very helpful to learn about it. It helped me. Good luck.
You can measure anything, but correlates are not causes.
And you can BET they will come up with a pill for any symptom.
Why does it seem like so many people can handle life and I am barely able to take care of myself properly? To be more specific, working full time, taking care of my house, dogs, cooking, cleaning, bills, errands, takes all of my energy and I barely get all that done as it should be. I am in my late 20s, all I want to do on the nights after work is eat and veg out and if I make weekend plans I usually regret it. I can't imagine adding kids to the mix. I feel like I can't have fun anymore since starting working 2 years ago because I'm just burnt out.. Everything that needs to be done is just overwhelming and I want to give up some days. I know I am somewhat introverted, not extreme by any means, but socializing is draining to me and I do it all day at work, so this may be part of it. I dont know how to snap out of this cycle, any advice or similar feelings are welcomed, thanks in advance
It sounds like your job may not be a good fit. I am a bit like you described....when I worked it was 80% socializing....and it can drain a person.
You may need to identify the hobbies, or activities that make you feel better. Sit down and think about the times that jazz you...and seek activities like that.
Bills, and bill paying can overwhelm anyone....it is sometimes a good habit to pick a day and time and approach bill paying like a job. Then when you've gotten that done reward yourself with a favorite activity, meal, or event that can help refresh you. It may be simply a walk around a beautiful garden center....or watching a local team play a game at the park.
After you've identified the things that you enjoy that refurbish your energy.....do those more....you owe yourself the time and fun that a 20 something should be having....before settling down. It will be a good practice now to know these things about yourself...it will help you for the rest of your life.
As you get older, and hopefully earn more, some of your activities may be bigger rewards, trips away. Right now concentrate on what you can afford....and it can be simple....just make sure that you do something at least a couple nights a week.
I hope these ideas help. You sound very responsible....but you are not achieving work/fun balance. Wotk on that and things may seem less overwhelming.
All the best to you.
Some helpful links. There are many "work life balance" links online if you prefer to search for more.
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