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This is really a fascinating thread. It is more than the literal "a cup of sugar", it's more about community, and how it's changed through time, and how we can have some of that community back by being a good neighbor.
Our worst experience was: We had a very nice Bissell carpet cleaner. Daughter borrowed it, her friend was impressed so used it and then SHE lent it to several of her friends.
It conked out not long after as the users had not cleaned it properly after use. I mean really??
This is SO wrong of your daughter and of the friend who also lent it out. Seriously?!
How dare anyone borrow something and then lend it out to another person? I've never heard of such a thing.
Your daughter should pay for a new one. Period. And if I were you, I'd try to never let her borrow anything again if possible.
This is really a fascinating thread. It is more than the literal "a cup of sugar", it's more about community, and how it's changed through time, and how we can have some of that community back by being a good neighbor.
[quote=BigGirlNow;49091589]What, no Ac-a-me? Lol I grew up in the suburbs in the 70s-80s. Our Ac-a-me (Acme Market) was about 5 blocks away.[/QUOTE
You grew up in the 70s-80s? Of course you had an Ac-a-me. I was born in 1935 and the area I'm describing was my recollection of age six through 14. No Ac-a-me.
I spent my Summers in the 'burbs and in the late '40s/early '50s there was an Ac-a-me, and an independent super called Safe Foods. (I worked there one Summer for 50 cents an hour in the office)
Last edited by theatergypsy; 08-06-2017 at 11:44 AM..
Amazing how the concept of borrowing a missing ingredient when you're in the midst of cooking something can be escalated on here to borrowing shovels or carpet cleaners or tools and never returning them and people who take advantage and make a habit of borrowing all the time or people who use the sugar as a way of inveigling themselves into your private life.
Good grief!
I guess my East Oakland neighborhood was kind of a Fairy Tale... African American, Asian, Caucasian and never a single issue...
It was not like my brother's neighborhood where everyone gets together on short notice because someone had a good catch that day and is having a salmon cook out... or just come over for a coffee on a Saturday morning...
My parents neighbors always had a smile of a couple of words to share... if someone was sick or someone passed away there would be food and flowers... but people were not hanging out in the kitchen or going out socially.
For me it was different... I was the neighborhood go to person... if the garage door stuck, a lock didn't work, someone clipped a sprinkler head mowing, a burner went out... I got the call...
Where people did excel is when someone was going out of town... we had keys for neighbors homes and they for ours... between all of us we all had keys for all the homes... we never needed them for others but when water was coming out the front door... we were sure glad the neighbor saw it and had our key... for two weeks he had fans and opened all the doors and windows... my parents had never been in his home in 40 years... but he was amazing... did I say lots of retired here now?
Still remember one summer day when another neighbor came barging in the front door... he had never been in our home and we not it his... he was choking to death and Mom is a RN... she grabbed this large man and did the Heimlich and the meat popped out... he really did save his life...
I think the best neighbors are those that don't impose but can be depended on in a pinch...
KEYS? Keys you say? When my mother sold her house in 1972 she didn't know where the door key was. Never used it. Maybe that's a Fairy Tale Neighborhood.
I agree the "in a pinch" part. And that was the main point. You needed something "in a pinch" you could ask Next Door and you always returned - the item AND the favor. It wasn't a habit.
In a small town, when we were kids, mum occasionally sent us to 1-2 neighbors' houses for missing baking ingredients (an egg, 1C sugar), but that's because they were good friends & as others said, there was 1 car & dad had it. Of course, borrowed ingredients were also returned once shopping was done. Those were the days when small towns often had 1 market & it wasn't walkable for a stay-at-home mum with 7 small kids. So, there was a reason that reliance on a few neighbors was necessary.
Once we moved to a big northeastern city, when I was 13, that never happened again, but it wasn't a city ever known for being welcoming, anyway. I've never felt any sense of community in a big city. Since I haven't lived in a small town since a kid, I don't know if people are still somewhat communal, like when I grew up or in this day & age, people stay more to themselves there, too?
As far as lending things, I have had strangers in my apt complex knock on my door & ask to borrow a tool as they're moving out & in need. 100% of the time, they either forget to return it before they leave or return it with missing pieces. So, I wouldn't lend anything to anyone anymore. As far as borrowing... I'll make due with what I've got or buy it... I don't borrow.
Lastly, I wonder if a lot of this has to do with renters vs homeowners? Since I've always been a renter & move fairly often, I'm not as invested in becoming friendly with neighbors, who also often move in & out fairly regularly, other than exchanging pleasantries in passing. And, people don't cook as often anymore, so don't need to borrow a cup of sugar. And, in our electronic age, people are more content to stay at home on the computer, watching 400 cable channels or playing video games & never feel bored or the need to meet people in real life. When I was a kid, we had to be more sociable in order to find things to do, particularly in a small town with no parks or recreational areas... we needed friends.
I had a neighbor that would constantly want to borrow things: Tools, gadgets, just any little household item like duck tape, aluminum foil, rubber bands, he even asked to borrow my snorkel gear. The reason? He was a tightwad and freeloader and the stingiest person I've ever met.
It got so bad that if I saw him coming, I just wouldn't answer the door. He finally moved away and now he is someone else's problem neighbor.
I had a neighbor like this......cheapskate! He moved.....
His wife would borrow "vanilla extract" but return a bottle of generic imitation vanilla extract. He believed BBQ grills cause cancer but that wouldn't stop his wife from borrowing our grill for a cookout.
Nice guy but way too borrow this, borrow that. Worst was asking to borrow a tool he had no idea how to use....meaning he wanted me to use it on his job. I have other neighbors I would assist in major jobs without an issue, yet this guy was too busy to help anyone with anything.
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