How do I get over my fear of driving on tall bridges? (therapy, adult)
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Location: Formerly Pleasanton Ca, now in Marietta Ga
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I feel your pain. Most bridges are ok with me, but I crossed the coronado bridge in San Diego, tall and narrow on a very windy day in a small car. Scared the heck out of me.
I have heard this fear is actually pretty common, but I don't personally know anyone with it. I talked to my therapist about this fear and she just said that I should just try to avoid these bridges if I can...wow, such great help. When I drive to my parents house in mobile, alabama, there is this bridge about 40 miles before I get there called the dolly parton bridge and the bridge goes up pretty high in the air at one point. I get pretty nervous anytime I approach the incline portion of this bridge, not only fearing the height but alsofearing I may somehow end up in the water below and drown. I can't avoid it because this is the only way to get to my parents house. I have also wanted to drive across country sometime but I am afraid to because I fear I will run across worse bridges than the one I just named and I hear there are ones that are worse. I want to stop being crippled with fear. I HATE that I have this crappy fear because no one else around me has it. It has gotten to the point where I will delay trips to my parents house just so I don't have to go over that bridge.
**Waving my hand** Me!! I got it.
First -- and this is what works for me -- go over the route on your computer -- see if people have posted videos of it online... you'd be amazed what people post online. Watching it will probably freak you out -- GOOD. Experience the freak out from the safety of your sofa.
Watch it multiple times -- each time you will desensitize to it. Then REALLY look at the bridge -- how many lanes? Can you position your car where you will have less panic? Me? my bridge has 5 lanes... and I stay firmly in the center. I keep pace with traffic.
And most importantly, I breathe deeply and slowly -- don't hyperventilate. I actually talk to the bridge. I call it names, and I tell it, it won't beat me. I am stronger than a bridge. I am stronger than my fear. I also concentrate on the traffic in front of me, and on the immediate sides -- but NOT THE EDGES...
I just looked your bridge up -- I found a couple of videos, and it's two lanes but it's got a nice wide shoulder -- and jersey barriers so you can't see over the edge. I'd stay in the right lane and just glide -- keep your attention straight.
Your fear is far worse than the reality. The reality is thousands of people cross this bridge all the time and nothing happens. Your fear singles you out as the one to do something amazing goofy and end up in trouble... and it's just your fear, not reality.
My sister and I were talking about this type of thing and she said to me something that sounded kind of mean -- but it wasn't meant that way -- "what makes you so special that this calamitous thing is going to happen to you?"
But she's right! Most people live their lives with no life shattering catastrophe happening in their lives. A Lifetime Movie of my life would be SOOO boring it wouldn't be funny...and pretty likely, that's true for you, too.
It's just a fear. You need coping skills in order to deal with it, and you need to deal with it. Don't let it win.
Normal bridges don't bother me, but long or high bridges do. Flyovers are particularly dreadful.
The last time I was on a flyover, the traffic backed up and I got stuck at the top. I had a physical reaction and was really afraid my body was going to do something stupid against the advice of my brain. For safety reasons, I avoid them now.
I still have a little "fear" of bridges from my deployment back in 10', but it's more from going under them and the dangers along with it. These days it's not really a fear in the truest since, but more of an automatic muscle-memory reaction of looking up and constantly scanning the bridge while under it. It's hard to get rid of the "battle mind" sometimes.
I have heard this fear is actually pretty common, but I don't personally know anyone with it. I talked to my therapist about this fear and she just said that I should just try to avoid these bridges if I can...wow, such great help. When I drive to my parents house in mobile, alabama, there is this bridge about 40 miles before I get there called the dolly parton bridge and the bridge goes up pretty high in the air at one point. I get pretty nervous anytime I approach the incline portion of this bridge, not only fearing the height but also fearing I may somehow end up in the water below and drown.<>
Don't worry about drowning, the impact will kill you. It's 125 feet high.
From wiki:
"The General W.K. Wilson Jr. Bridge consists of dual parallel tied through arches
of weathering steel and beam viaducts of concrete that form one continuous span
carrying four lanes of Interstate 65 across the Mobile-Tensaw River Delta
northeast of the U.S. city of Mobile, Alabama. Built from 1978 to 1980,
it spans a distance of 6.08 miles (10 km) over the delta, making it,
along with the Jubilee Parkway across Mobile Bay to its south,
among the longest bridges in the nation.
It was named in honor of Walter K. Wilson, a Chief of Engineers
with the United States Army Corps of Engineers,"
it just looks like Dolly Parton in your mind.
I had one too for years, even riding over them. I would roll down the windows in case it collapsed. Guess more a fear of falling. But, the best way to get over it is to drive over it. I have driven over the Mississippi River, Charleston Harbor Bridge, etc. And been over the gorge in WV, you cannot even tell you are on it. Just facing your fears are the best way.
I have a deathly fear of bridges, as well. It's called Gephyrophobia and more people have it than you realize. I'm usually ok if I'm a passenger, but some bridges are so bad I almost pass out even then. I have a fear of heights in general although I'm ok to fly.
I am the same way with flying!! Not afraid to fly even though I don't like heights
I agree with the others that said don't stop driving over bridges.
I don't remember ever being scared of bridges when I was younger but I have noticed that lately the high, sloped, curving overpasses and bridges make me anxious. I start feeling the anxiety when I realize the overpass is coming up.
I could re-route and not go that way but I am sure that would only make my anxiety worse. I force myself to continue on even though I do notice I go a little slower than the other traffic. I think the best cure would be to just drive over it again and again.
I have heard this fear is actually pretty common, but I don't personally know anyone with it. I talked to my therapist about this fear and she just said that I should just try to avoid these bridges if I can...wow, such great help. When I drive to my parents' house in Mobile, Alabama, there is this bridge about 40 miles before I get there, called the Dolly Parton Bridge and the bridge goes up pretty high in the air at one point. I get pretty nervous anytime I approach the incline portion of this bridge, not only fearing the height but also fearing I may somehow end up in the water below and drown. I can't avoid it because this is the only way to get to my parents house. I have also wanted to drive across country sometime but I am afraid to because I fear I will run across worse bridges than the one I just named and I hear there are ones that are worse. I want to stop being crippled with fear. I HATE that I have this crappy fear because no one else around me has it. It has gotten to the point where I will delay trips to my parents house just so I don't have to go over that bridge.
Don't worry about drowning, because it isn't likely you'd survive the fall.
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