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I find this so interesting that you see it as "correcting".
To me it has nothing to do with self esteem or easily being offended. I just wonder about the psychology behind it. When you pick a tiny piece of lint it shows you are evaluating that person instead of just paying attention to what they are saying. Whether you know it or not it's a judgment move. With the exception of a major embarrassing situation (like skirt tucked into underwear, etc) scanning someone's appearance while they are talking to you and pointing out an imperfection is not really a "friendly gesture".
I agree. It reminds me of a recent thread about whether or not it is appropriate to correct another person's grammar. It's rude to point out other's imperfections, especially something as trivial as a tiny piece of lint or a little thread.
OP: There are things in life that are important and this incident would fall on my personal list of completely unimportant.
There is nothing passive nor aggressive about this incident, someone saw lint and removed it, so what.
Perhaps a deeper look into your life would reveal those things in life that are actually important.
PS ~~ Do a search on youtube for the Craig Morgan Video: This Ain't Nothin.
This woman is younger than I am. We recently moved into a new house and had a potluck where she attended. Another friend was raving about my house which made me a bit uncomfortable because most people in my church are from an older part of town and live in more modest homes. The "lint picker" woman was quiet and later on I wondered if she took a subconscious dislike to me because of that.
My first thought was OCD or OCPD. Her trigger might be lint on clothes but sloppy doesn't bother her.
Either way, I think you may be being overly defensive here.
The point is that there was nothing wrong with the OP or her outfit or grooming or anything, in the incident in question. An almost microscopic piece of lint? I'm not buying it. I think the OP is right on with her suspicions.
so what you think this girl was about to mug OP?? or planted a small tracking device? some times a harmless gesture, is exactly that, a harmless gesture.
Why would you say you do it? besides that you say you have OCD....
There's no thought that goes into it...I just see something awry, and I pick it off. I don't have severe OCD, it's a trivial thing this picking of lint, IMO. I don't get why anyone is trying to read any sort of motives into it.
At work, I often follow behind a patient with a wheelchair when the PT is walking them...back there, I'll be reaching up to the resident tucking in tags, picking off a loose string or a piece of fuzz....in short, I pick it off because I can SEE it.
Again, I don't know if there may be some here who aren't really "people" persons, or maybe can't read other people's intentions well, I don't know. I'm a friendly person in general. I go up to strangers all the time and compliment them before I ask where they got those awesome glasses, or ask if anyone's told them they look exactly like Jennifer Hudson..I talk with my hands, and I'm a "toucher" when I talk....so it's honestly just an extension of who I am, "oh, excuse me, but you're taking a souvenier with you (when they are leaving the restroom with TP on shoe)", "Do you mind if I pick a loose string off the back of your shirt?" "excuse me, but you missed an important button". I'll walk past an elderly man wearing cologne and remark "oooh, you smell good" when I go by, just to see him smile. The lint is really not any different and I am shaking my head that this thread is still going on, truthfully.
I have never ever ever had anyone react in any way except to say "Oh thank you!" and I react the same when people "groom" me. I don't think it's all that different instinctually from the caveman days when we picked bugs off each other, lol.
I find this so interesting that you see it as "correcting".
I'm curious if the people who see it this way consider themselves negative or easily offended in general? I'm a pretty open, positive, friendly person, and I perceive it quite differently in fact I'm kind of flabbergasted that some see this IMO quite trivial and benign action so negatively and as "correction?" Is it a self-esteem issue? I am not being facetious I promise, it just seems like a lot of deeper "issues" are being triggered by a friendly gesture and I would like to understand why.
I would also like someone to give me a rational reason why you believe only women do this (my nephew will straighten out pictures on the agents desk while at the bank lol) and why you would imagine women only do this to other women. Where are you getting that from, that you ignore the posters (me among them) who posted that we do this to everyone regardless of race, creed, color or gender?[/QUOTE
To me it has nothing to do with self esteem or easily being offended. I just wonder about the psychology behind it. When you pick a tiny piece of lint it shows you are evaluating that person instead of just paying attention to what they are saying. Whether you know it or not it's a judgment move. With the exception of a major embarrassing situation (like skirt tucked into underwear, etc) scanning someone's appearance while they are talking to you and pointing out an imperfection is not really a "friendly gesture".
I vehemently disagree. Seeing a piece of lint and plucking it off does not in any way require "evaluation of a person" what does that even mean??? It's not scanning their appearance, it's noticing something that doesn't belong and fixing it.
Again I think you may have some social disorder or something that makes it harder for you to read social cues or tell people's intentions? Why would you feel evaluated and judged over such triviality? There is some paranoia here JMO. In any case I feel like you're majorly stretching to make this point and I don't get it, but I accede your right to your feelings.
I vehemently disagree. Seeing a piece of lint and plucking it off does not in any way require "evaluation of a person" what does that even mean??? It's not scanning their appearance, it's noticing something that doesn't belong and fixing it.
Again I think you may have some social disorder or something that makes it harder for you to read social cues or tell people's intentions? Why would you feel evaluated and judged over such triviality? There is some paranoia here JMO. In any case I feel like you're majorly stretching to make this point and I don't get it, but I accede your right to your feelings.
But that's the thing, what is in your thinking that you feel it's ok to notice something very trivial that does not belong and fix it? Oh, i don't have a social disorder as I have always brushed this off but it just made me curious as to people's internal motivation for why they do this, why they think it's ok to "help" someone they don't know because I have never done this to anyone. This after all is posted on the psychology board, lol.
I find this so interesting that you see it as "correcting".
I'm curious if the people who see it this way consider themselves negative or easily offended in general? I'm a pretty open, positive, friendly person, and I perceive it quite differently in fact I'm kind of flabbergasted that some see this IMO quite trivial and benign action so negatively and as "correction?" Is it a self-esteem issue? I am not being facetious I promise, it just seems like a lot of deeper "issues" are being triggered by a friendly gesture and I would like to understand why.
I would also like someone to give me a rational reason why you believe only women do this (my nephew will straighten out pictures on the agents desk while at the bank lol) and why you would imagine women only do this to other women. Where are you getting that from, that you ignore the posters (me among them) who posted that we do this to everyone regardless of race, creed, color or gender?
Can I flip this? Why do YOU think it's fine to be putting your hands on people you don't know? You don't know these people, their appearance is not a reflection on your training or raising of them, you didn't give birth to them, you're not sending them out to the world. They're strangers to you, so why do you feel like it's ok to put your hands on them?
Several people here (including me) have said they are bothered when strangers come up to them and do these things. They're wrong and you're right? You have the right to pick lint off of me because your intentions are benign? Do you feel comfortable touching children you don't know?
"Come here little girl, and let me pull your socks up, wipe your face, etc?
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