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People can think they are just being nice, and I can think that they are being intrusive and picky. Both sides make sense.
If I have something amiss, I don't mind someone telling me about it. In fact, I'll usually appreciate it and thank them with a smile. But don't touch me without asking.
But that's the thing, what is in your thinking that you feel it's ok to notice something very trivial that does not belong and fix it? Oh, i don't have a social disorder as I have always brushed this off but it just made me curious as to people's internal motivation for why they do this, why they think it's ok to "help" someone they don't know because I have never done this to anyone. This after all is posted on the psychology board, lol.
Again, there is no "motivation" it's more an automatic reaction, a split second "oh there's a piece of fuzz on your sweater" and taking it off. There is no thought process or scanning process or anything else at all.
Can I flip this? Why do YOU think it's fine to be putting your hands on people you don't know? You don't know these people, their appearance is not a reflection on your training or raising of them, you didn't give birth to them, you're not sending them out to the world. They're strangers to you, so why do you feel like it's ok to put your hands on them?
Several people here (including me) have said they are bothered when strangers come up to them and do these things. They're wrong and you're right? You have the right to pick lint off of me because your intentions are benign? Do you feel comfortable touching children you don't know?
"Come here little girl, and let me pull your socks up, wipe your face, etc?
Again for the third time, I am NOT defending my right to pluck fuzz from you, I already acknowledged it may be crossing a boundary for some. What I AM arguing is that there's no deep psychological meaning behind it, it's not a judgement that you're "unclean" or making myself superior to you, or the other silliness being espoused here.
I have also asked multiple times why some here think women only do this to other women, that's absurd. To actually claim it as an act of aggression is ludicrous.
I don't think it's just a woman thing, but I DO think it's an intimidation move, whoever does it.
I'm not buying into that it necessarily means (from the other person) that I'm unclean, but I do believe it takes a lot of chutzpa to just assume you (in the general sense) have the power and authority over my body to not respect my boundaries. And then I have to assume if you think you have the power and authority over my body, then you do indeed feel superior to me, or you're trying to assert some kind of superiority over me.
I don't think it's just a woman thing, but I DO think it's an intimidation move, whoever does it.
I'm not buying into that it necessarily means (from the other person) that I'm unclean, but I do believe it takes a lot of chutzpa to just assume you (in the general sense) have the power and authority over my body to not respect my boundaries. And then I have to assume if you think you have the power and authority over my body, then you do indeed feel superior to me, or you're trying to assert some kind of superiority over me.
Oh my goodness. It's fine, you're right, it's all just a masquerade and an evil plot to game n power over other women. I give, you guys have fun if you're able to.
While I wouldn't presume to tuck a a casual acquaintance's tag in, and don't necessarily identify with people who apparently feel comfortable with that level of familiarity with someone they don't know all that well, I think you may be assigning negative motives where none exist.
I don't think there is hidden "Gee, you're a slob" judgment inherent, I don't think it's a hostile challenge, or an insecure response to your statuesque build or anot envious response due to your having a a better, nicer, bigger house. I don't think it is a microaggression. Frankly, those are odd things to jump to.
Clearly, though, you started this thread already pretty invested in the idea that it is an aggressive move done by people who seek to intimidate you, because they are (jealous of, intimidated by, etc.) you, and aren't interested in any feedback except what reinforces your already arrived upon theories.
Last edited by TabulaRasa; 08-16-2017 at 11:28 AM..
Oh my goodness. It's fine, you're right, it's all just a masquerade and an evil plot to game n power over other women. I give, you guys have fun if you're able to.
Thanks for your permission oc.
I'm beginning to see how the concept is difficult for you to grasp. LOL
It strikes me as weird, OP. I'd wonder about it, because it IS just a piece of lint. You weren't going on camera on live TV, after all.
I've had people brush bugs off me without asking, and that's appreciated. Lint, tags, nope. A friend can point those things out, but not a casual acquaintance.
I have struggled with guy's zippers down. Never know what to do, so I usually do nothing.
It strikes me as weird, OP. I'd wonder about it, because it IS just a piece of lint. You weren't going on camera on live TV, after all.
I've had people brush bugs off me without asking, and that's appreciated. Lint, tags, nope. A friend can point those things out, but not a casual acquaintance.
I have struggled with guy's zippers down. Never know what to do, so I usually do nothing.
I still use "XYZ". lol. I don't know if kids still use this "cue" but most people I say it to seem to know what it means right away.
(In case this is something youngsters don't know, XYZ stands for "Examine your zipper")
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