How to get out of this politely? (relationship, people, husband)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 19 hours ago)
35,579 posts, read 17,923,325 times
Reputation: 50612
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenni855
No, the parents are in the early stages of planning the party. They asked me to babysit when I was sure they would invite me to the party.
I think at this point, Jenni, you just say it. "I'm a little surprised that you asked me to babysit because I really was hoping to join you in the celebration. You all have always meant a lot to me and your mom feels almost like family to me".
Sometimes, you just have to put it out there, to warn people they're about to hurt your feelings.
Reading through this makes my stomach kind of hurt, Jenni. I hope somehow you are able to turn this around.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 19 hours ago)
35,579 posts, read 17,923,325 times
Reputation: 50612
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenni855
Why does your stomach hurt?
Maybe I should have worded it like that but I feel kind of stung.
Because of how I would feel if this happened to me. It just feels so . . . cold of her to ask you to babysit when you should be invited. If this were a very small family thing, that's one thing. But to ask you to miss so you can take care of a child seems kind of like a slap.
When I had no car a neighbor used to ask me to babysit her daughter while she went to the mall but I really wanted to get out of the house with her. After the second time, I decided to "catch" the flu so she would have to find another free babysitter. She got the message and there was nothing for her to argue about.
I'm sorry some people are so rude but it is better to find out now, before you spend a lot on a gift or effort working on a party, when they don't want you around. Hopefully, they were just excited about planning the party and didn't mean to use you instead of invite you.
We're dealing with something similar; a friend's son is getting married. We're not invited to the wedding (that's OK, the groom is not really a friend), but they want my husband to bring his kayaks over and take guests paddling.
Like, "Come entertain the people we like enough to invite to the wedding!"
Actually, we WERE NOT invited to 3 weddings this month; the sons of 2 friends (no, not marrying each other), and the son of a cousin. My husband was rather tweaked by this, but I didn't want to go anyway.
But hey, kids: invite your parents' well-off friends and relatives, and you get a check for a wedding present!
It probably comes across a bit passive aggressive but I did end up just putting 'No, I can't. 'Probably immature but so is telling me I am like family and not meaning it.
I certainly can't say I blame you. I don't know if I'd have had the guts to be that frank myself, but I admire you for handling the situation the way you did.
I know this can be hard to do, but how about saying something like "I'm sad and surprised I'm not included."
Or, mentioning to someone else in the family that you're surprised you weren't included, and maybe everyone can get to the bottom of it.
But I can understand not wanting to go there. You might not like the answer you get, and it might make things worse.
I wish you well, whatever you do.
Saying " I'm sad and surprised I'm not included" makes you sound weak.
So she may not like the answer she gets. How could it make it worse? They have shown their true colors and it's time to drop these people.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
