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Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 7 days ago)
35,630 posts, read 17,968,125 times
Reputation: 50652
I'm so sorry, Jenni. I'm not you, but I wouldn't let this go so quickly. This will hurt you forever if it doesn't get resolved. Besides the mother who needs a babysitter, is there anyone else in the family you're really close to?
If so, I'd send them a text, and start it with "ooh this is really awkward, (and use that emoticon with the gritted teeth. Something light and cute). I know your family is planning a fun birthday party for _______ and I was asked to babysit ______ that night. I would really like to come celebrate - I was kind of confused that I was asked to babysit instead. Anyway, don't want to make waves but just wanted your input."
Last summer we had a family wedding, and my son's wedding invitation was lost in the mail. (It truly was, and it arrived much later). He's an adult living with his girlfriend, and I thought he wasn't invited because of that - they're very strong Christians. But he was. And I'm SO GLAD I emailed the mother of the bride with my concern.
I wish you the best. I just think it's important if your feelings are about to be really hurt, that the other people at least know and have a chance to correct it.
It probably comes across a bit passive aggressive but I did end up just putting 'No, I can't. 'Probably immature but so is telling me I am like family and not meaning it.
If they were life long friends and it was a text - I would have replied something like... "well I myself am hoping to be invited to the event of the year so...." and then a little smiley face with a tongue out or something. That pretty much says it but also isn't in their face. How they responded from there would tell you everything you need to know.
Her reaction to the text was "No worries!". Yeah, I am hurt but it's clear I am not important to them.
She might be really clueless as to the effect on you. To her it is a molehill, to you maybe a mountain. But you can't control her. Consider it a lesson in what they consider "family," and move on.
Her reaction to the text was "No worries!". Yeah, I am hurt but it's clear I am not important to them.
i would let it go.... some people are natural organizers...and some people are like the squirrel in a road darting back and forth,,,a complete mess..
if much of the pressure to organize this event is on her.... she may be a complete spaz......and self centered.... to get this done....she may have meant no ill will towards you,,,,she is just checking off a check list ..
i think we've all been in your shoes at one time or another and ive had to bite my lip more than once...(because they had helped me in the past, when they didnt have to)
Jenni... these people are NOT your friends! They are users... friends when it is convenient for them. Friends when you can DO something to help them... for free.
Cut them loose honey. They suck.
I've had similar things happen and yes it really hurts, because you held them in a high esteem and thought they felt the same. Best to just accept it, cut them out of your life, and move on. No texts, no drop in, just cold cut off. Trust me its the best way to handle.
I'm so sorry, Jenni. I'm not you, but I wouldn't let this go so quickly. This will hurt you forever if it doesn't get resolved. Besides the mother who needs a babysitter, is there anyone else in the family you're really close to?
If so, I'd send them a text, and start it with "ooh this is really awkward, (and use that emoticon with the gritted teeth. Something light and cute). I know your family is planning a fun birthday party for _______ and I was asked to babysit ______ that night. I would really like to come celebrate - I was kind of confused that I was asked to babysit instead. Anyway, don't want to make waves but just wanted your input."
Last summer we had a family wedding, and my son's wedding invitation was lost in the mail. (It truly was, and it arrived much later). He's an adult living with his girlfriend, and I thought he wasn't invited because of that - they're very strong Christians. But he was. And I'm SO GLAD I emailed the mother of the bride with my concern.
I wish you the best. I just think it's important if your feelings are about to be really hurt, that the other people at least know and have a chance to correct it.
Personally, I would let it go. Obviously they do not think of her as a good friend that is almost family or she would have been invited to their party. If they wanted her there, they might have asked her if she knew of a good babysitter. To do what you suggest is begging for an invite and they know it, you know it, and their friends know you are only there out of last minute guilt on the host's part or trying to not embarrass you for being pushy. I would cringe to think of being put into the position of making myself or kids get invited.
BTW it is easy to say "must have gotten lost in the mail" and easy to then get one sent once put in a position to have to include someone you had no intention of inviting because you are called upon for an explanation They may not want to offend the third party, questioning them.
Not the way I want anyone in my family to be included.
Have been asked by family friends to babysit for their kid in a few months. One of the parents is turning 50. After being called 'One of the family' for so long, I am a little hurt not to have been invited to the party and don't want to babysit on a Saturday. How do I word it politely in a text?
"I can't babysit because I'm going to the party. Aren't I?"
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