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To the original poster: Women who mention or hint at wanting babies on dates are scoping you out as Good Provider material. So she's working two jobs...now...but as soon as she can rope someone into legal responsibility, she is going to quit at least one of them, and having another baby just gives her more ammo to guilt him into letting her quit working, period.
I have known a coworker who suspects his wife's "accidental" third pregnancy was an excuse for her being a permanent student, as in taking one class a year.
Another guy told me he knows his wife lied about using a diaphragm, which resulted in a pregnancy she had been begging for all along. He already had kids from a first marriage and didn't want more. Oh, well.
Keep it in your pants if you think you're being played!
my 16-year-old niece said she wanted a baby because "they have to love you." That didn't end well--2 kids before age 20, and life spiraled down and down.
If you don't want to "accidentally" be a father, guys, be responsible for your own prevention. Wear a condom or get a vasectomy. Or keep it in your pants. Don't blame some woman for tricking you.
Kids are actually a pretty solid investment. Who is going to make sure no one is slapping you around in the nursing home you end up in ! Not my future porsche lol.
You know why so many women have babies they can't afford? Because if they are low income, our government will pay for their prenatal care, hospitalization and after care. Then their kids get free health insurance, reduced or free child care, school lunches, etc. Our government seems to encourage women who can't afford children to have them.
I would have liked to have 3 kids but knew it would very tough for me and my husband financially so guess what? I did the responsible thing and had my tubes tied. We never thought of asking the government for help. I recall one time scrounging for change so I could buy diapers.
Some women like the attention they get when they are pregnant or have a new baby.
Most couples can't afford more than 1 or 2 children if they are the ones paying the bills. Welfare had a family cap for a while, where if they had additional children after 3 or 4, no more was added to their welfare check, but some states decided that it wasn't fair. This is a BIG problem with illegal aliens who generally have what I call the "magic 4" that we support. Kids also make it easier to beg others to "give, give, give".
Medicaid offers birth control to include sterilization, so it isn't like they couldn't stop if they didn't want to.
So true, "Some women like the attention they get when they are pregnant or have a new baby.", but sadly, those same women have little use for the kids after that point, well, other the benefits if welfare is involved.
When we filled out paperwork to adopt a child, they ask for all kinds of financial information to see if you have sufficient income to support a child, and I asked the worker "What do you do if it looks like they can't afford a child?" She said that she asked them to do a budget with the expenses of the new child to the family and that it generally took care of the issue. Too bad we can't make that a requirement for someone having a child.
My husband's sister ended up with 4 daughters trying to have a son, because her husband wanted a son. Sadly, they shortchanged all of those daughters as they couldn't in reality care for even one. So, so stupid! I do believe she fell also into the category of liking the attention when pregnant or with a new baby. Once she told me "I'm pregnant again, tell my brother as that should cheer him up!" Yeah, I told him and all he did was
ONE MORE: A baby makes them feel young again, well, temporarily.
Most couples can't afford more than 1 or 2 children if they are the ones paying the bills. Welfare had a family cap for a while, where if they had additional children after 3 or 4, no more was added to their welfare check, but some states decided that it wasn't fair. This is a BIG problem with illegal aliens who generally have what I call the "magic 4" that we support. Kids also make it easier to beg others to "give, give, give".
Medicaid offers birth control to include sterilization, so it isn't like they couldn't stop if they didn't want to.
So true, "Some women like the attention they get when they are pregnant or have a new baby.", but sadly, those same women have little use for the kids after that point, well, other the benefits if welfare is involved.
When we filled out paperwork to adopt a child, they ask for all kinds of financial information to see if you have sufficient income to support a child, and I asked the worker "What do you do if it looks like they can't afford a child?" She said that she asked them to do a budget with the expenses of the new child to the family and that it generally took care of the issue. Too bad we can't make that a requirement for someone having a child.
My husband's sister ended up with 4 daughters trying to have a son, because her husband wanted a son. Sadly, they shortchanged all of those daughters as they couldn't in reality care for even one. So, so stupid! I do believe she fell also into the category of liking the attention when pregnant or with a new baby. Once she told me "I'm pregnant again, tell my brother as that should cheer him up!" Yeah, I told him and all he did was
ONE MORE: A baby makes them feel young again, well, temporarily.
Gimme, gimme, gimme sums up the gist of demands spewed constantly by the irresponsible where we used to live. It's like they expect an entire town to play doting, spoiling grandma and grandpa. Never mind that they steal the "rich old people's" hardwon retirement funds. SHAMELESS demands. Never seen such extreme entitlement attitude anywhere else...
Some parents put more thought into buying a freakin' CELL PHONE than they do procreating.
I've heard that Demographers noted a trend, historically speaking; that communities in "crisis" would have higher fertility rates & that patriarichal control also influenced fertility rates. Possibly because for thousands of years, a woman's economical viability depended on being a mother to the children of an economically viable man.
I suppose you could saythat despite our industrialized age, "women in crisis" might be biologically inspired to invite patriarichal control & secure economic viability.
Which doesn't say much for me personally, does it? But whatever!
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Originally Posted by jacktravern
IDK, as I've stated earlier, I grew up poor with parents ill prepared to have me financially and give me a good upbringing. I almost feel like I got lucky. .
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Originally Posted by jacktravern
Me and my best friend from childhood always speak on how our mothers shouldn't have had us at 17 & 20 and were broke. We grew up poor watching all the fun stuff on TV we could never have as kids.
But aren't YOU an independant & viable adult male? That IS the desired outcome, you know. Not to have kids you could give every material item to but to RAISE a kid into a viable adult. Most parents desire that their child will "have it better than they did"... it's what we hope for.
There are an awful lot of young adults right now who had every "thing" their hearts desired yet haven't been "raised" yet.
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Originally Posted by jacktravern
But currently, all of my friends work to give their kids the childhoods we never had b/c our parents had us when they broke.
Aha; yes. That's exactly what I meant. That's what is sort of expected of them.
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Originally Posted by jacktravern
To me personally, that Toys'R'us commercial that ran in the 80's was the greatest thing and at the same time one of the saddest things, because my parents could never afford to take me there.
There is absolutely nothing available at ToysRUs that will make anyone a better parent.
But it's kind of a cool place though. Makes me wish "they had THAT when I was a kid" every time I'm in there..
This a question for woman, (and I guess men to a degree)
If you don't have any children yet, or already have at least one, and you are not financially comfortable, would consider having more in the same bad financial state and why?
I ask because I continue to meet woman who have children that are barely making ends meet and talk about having more kids. Not long ago I dated someone that was 37 with 2 kids and living at home with her parents, openly told me she's be broke without her second job, but actually sat across a table and told me she would like to have 1 more
I'm just trying to understand how one can even get into that type of thinking. Is it fun to be broke all of the time? I know my own personal "broke years" really sucked.
I'm financially pretty comfortable, and I still don't want any more kids. The US of A hates kids in general, so society makes it too expensive and stressful to raise them. Fortunately, I'm married, but if I were single, the #1 deal breaker would be if a woman I met wanted more kids.
Years ago, I saw an news item on a couple who were so severely disabled that the state paid for a caregiver during the day. They had a child, but couldn't care for it, so the state put it in foster care. The woman was screaming that she had a right to have a child, and the state should pay to have someone there at night as well.
With kids, I think "responsibilities" should come before "rights".
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! Not my future porsche lol.
