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This a question for woman, (and I guess men to a degree)
If you don't have any children yet, or already have at least one, and you are not financially comfortable, would consider having more in the same bad financial state and why?
I have one kid and waited until I was in a good financial state to have her. I wouldn't consider having a kid if I was in poor financial shape because I don't expect anyone else to help me pay for his/her upbringing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jacktravern
I ask because I continue to meet woman who have children that are barely making ends meet and talk about having more kids. Not long ago I dated someone that was 37 with 2 kids and living at home with her parents, openly told me she's be broke without her second job, but actually sat across a table and told me she would like to have 1 more
She might have been hinting that you were good father material, or she may have been making a wishful comment. She also might have been talking about the here and now--hard to tell without the body language and other non-verbals. I would think that she would want to find a way to get out on her own before having more kids though? Geez.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jacktravern
I'm just trying to understand how one can even get into that type of thinking. Is it fun to be broke all of the time? I know my own personal "broke years" really sucked.
I'm not driven by money/things but yeah, being broke all of the time sucks and having a kid makes you even MORE broke since they aren't cheap. I don't understand the thought process myself as to why someone would want a kid/more kids when they can barely take care of themselves.
She might have been hinting that you were good father material, or she may have been making a wishful comment. She also might have been talking about the here and now--hard to tell without the body language and other non-verbals. I would think that she would want to find a way to get out on her own before having more kids though? Geez.
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Hahaha, A male co-worker actually said something to that effect. he was like "because she was thinking about having one with YOU"
I remember her saying something to the effect of she didn't like the idea of turning 40 and then risking a bad pregnancy, kid with disabilities, ect......Annnnnd, now that I think about it, one of the kids already had a disability. I think he was slightly autistic.
But yeah, possibly a wishful comment. I guess because of dolls growing up, many females get into the mind state of "I need a baby or babies to be complete". I mean nothing wrong with it, but doing it while in dire straights if insane thinking to me and apparently many others.
We should not control people's actions, but the welfare and aid should be limited to 2 kids maximum, with no extra benefits after the second. Women shouldn't be rewarded for being single mothers. Many of them knowingly date bad boys and other undesirable men and then act surprised when they don't make good providers and husbands. I don't like rewarding irresponsible behavior. If a man plants his seed in a woman and gets her pregnant he should pay child support, but many of these men know how to take measures to avoid it, and you can't take money from a person who has none, and who's fault is that for a seedy individual getting knocked up by another seedy individual?
A single mother should not be able to get section 8, food stamps, medicaid, and be able to raise their kids basically without ever having to work, and I know women who have done this. Liberals seem to be all about rewarding irresponsible life choices and doing what "feels good." Claiming to be bipolar or having anxiety changes the whole game as well, and since child support doesn't count as taxable income, a woman could go for 10-20 years without ever having to work. We just raised another generation of moochers who think this is the way you get through life, and wonder why we have such high debt levels and can't afford single payer healthcare. With today's snowflake, coddling, everybody wins, no discomfort mentality, we are raising more people than ever with anxiety problems.
The people who run things need a lesson on human psychology and how the brain works. The thing that irritates me most is watching a woman brag about the government benefits she gets as she has yet another random guy in her house she's screwing while not giving her kids the proper attention and putting her partying life before anything else. These women should be cast into the streets and have to beg for other people's charity to give them some humility.
This a question for woman, (and I guess men to a degree)
If you don't have any children yet, or already have at least one, and you are not financially comfortable, would consider having more in the same bad financial state and why?
I ask because I continue to meet woman who have children that are barely making ends meet and talk about having more kids. Not long ago I dated someone that was 37 with 2 kids and living at home with her parents, openly told me she's be broke without her second job, but actually sat across a table and told me she would like to have 1 more
I'm just trying to understand how one can even get into that type of thinking. Is it fun to be broke all of the time? I know my own personal "broke years" really sucked.
It makes me chuckle when no-nothing's spout off about having children as if it was the same as having a yacht or a vacation house in the Hamptons, something to forego if you 'can't afford it'.
Our PURPOSE is to procreate; to make more of us and continue our genetic line. We are a link in a billion year old chain that makes the next link before we expire if we are lucky, shaping the NEXT billion years.
It makes me chuckle when no-nothing's spout off about having children as if it was the same as having a yacht or a vacation house in the Hamptons, something to forego if you 'can't afford it'.
Our PURPOSE is to procreate; to make more of us and continue our genetic line. We are a link in a billion year old chain that makes the next link before we expire if we are lucky, shaping the NEXT billion years. .
The next billion years.....you think to far ahead. When I'm dead, I'm dead. Life will go on. Same for you. You think I sit around thinking about my dead great grandfather who died 25 years ago just because I'm part of his genetic line.. NO!
But when you write "Our PURPOSE is to procreate", I guess that kind of answer the my original question to a degree, that some people believe you should even when it's not financially the best of ideas.
But it's not OUR purpose, it's yours. Some people have different ideas, just like everybody's AMerican Dream ain't the same thing.
But an honest question, do you truly think it's fair to bring a child into a struggling/ poverty situation?
The next billion years.....you think to far ahead. When I'm dead, I'm dead. Life will go on. Same for you. You think I sit around thinking about my dead great grandfather who died 25 years ago just because I'm part of his genetic line.. NO!
But when you write "Our PURPOSE is to procreate", I guess that kind of answer the my original question to a degree, that some people believe you should even when it's not financially the best of ideas.
But it's not OUR purpose, it's yours. Some people have different ideas, just like everybody's AMerican Dream ain't the same thing.
But an honest question, do you truly think it's fair to bring a child into a struggling/ poverty situation?
Here is my honest answer:
Survey 1,000 people who grew up in what you personally would consider to be a struggling / poverty situation.
The question is: "Do you wish, given the financial situation of your family during your youth, that you had never been born?"
I guarantee that the vast majority of people in those circumstances who were born into a loving family where they were intentionally conceived and welcomed will answer with a resounding "NO!"
People who just randomly get pregnant through carelessness or ignorance AREN'T 'deciding' to have children, so they aren't within the scope of your questions.
What you consider to be poverty is quite possibly better than the normal situation over much of the globe. Do you suggest depopulating vast areas of nations like Congo, Haiti, Niger, or Bangladesh because of their financial health?
And -=I=- didn't make that our purpose. Evolutionary Biology did. I'm just the messenger.
It makes me chuckle when no-nothing's spout off about having children as if it was the same as having a yacht or a vacation house in the Hamptons, something to forego if you 'can't afford it'.
Our PURPOSE is to procreate; to make more of us and continue our genetic line. We are a link in a billion year old chain that makes the next link before we expire if we are lucky, shaping the NEXT billion years.
Everything else is a side job.
YOU see it as YOUR purpose, probably handed down from whatever religion you follow.
YOU see it as YOUR purpose, probably handed down from whatever religion you follow.
You'd have to dig pretty deep to find any type of religious dogma in my beliefs or my family DNA.
If our 'purpose' (what we are designed to do) isn't to carry on our genetic structure to the future, how can we have any other purpose at all? Without that we as a species literally are dust in the wind.
Well, then, our purpose is to kill off competition for resources, or anyone or anything who we think might threaten getting what we want. Why don't we just go by base instinct for everything while we are at it.
Survey 1,000 people who grew up in what you personally would consider to be a struggling / poverty situation.
The question is: "Do you wish, given the financial situation of your family during your youth, that you had never been born?"
.
What you consider to be poverty is quite possibly better than the normal situation over much of the globe. Do you suggest depopulating vast areas of nations like Congo, Haiti, Niger, or Bangladesh because of their financial health?
And -=I=- didn't make that our purpose. Evolutionary Biology did. I'm just the messenger.
So myself or others should be ok with the fact that we grew up under the US poverty line because some kid had it worse in Haiti? Most normal Americans who realize they grew up in a functional country don't compare themselves to those in dysfunctional ones.
That's like saying I should be happy I could get any woman at all to sleep with me, regardless of how the woman looks because in prison they can only f*** other men or any desperate woman they can get to make a conjugal visit.. Why would I or should I have to compare myself to such foreign situations.
And NO, I don't think i should've been born at that time. Within 8 months of being born my 20 year old mother back at good old grandmas house in one of the worst areas of Brooklyn b/c her and my 22 year father couldn't sustain a living.
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NO!
