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I have family in Florida and one person was really affected last year when they had to evacuate. This is routine where they live their house has always been except for damage about 10 years ago. But the person reaches out to me quite a bit with the concerns and anxiety and I do my best to help but it doesn't resonate. I think there's a lot of underlying anxiety and the unknown hurricane situations brings it out. The person has had a history of anxiety and some depression. Any tips for what might be helpful?
If I lived at 10 feet MSL on the Florida coast, I'd have anxiety too. It's 100% rational. I'm on the coast in New England. Every few years, I have to haul the boat early and board up the house. I'm 50 feet above sea level so I'm not going to flood but I can still take wind damage from falling trees. I'm not going to lose my house and all my possessions.
The anxiety is definitely rational, as GEoffD notes. I would listen, let them vent. And then ask what preparations they have made. Let them go through their list of what they do have control over, and remind them of what they can't control. Promise what help you can provide when the time comes (even if it's just moral support), and then just give them your time and empathy. When someone comes to you with an IRRATIONAL fear, that's when you walk them through the common anxiety strategies. But as someone with severe anxiety, I have to say that I do best in times of crisis when I'm in tune with the anxiety and just letting it guide me.
If I lived at 10 feet MSL on the Florida coast, I'd have anxiety too. It's 100% rational. I'm on the coast in New England. Every few years, I have to haul the boat early and board up the house. I'm 50 feet above sea level so I'm not going to flood but I can still take wind damage from falling trees. I'm not going to lose my house and all my possessions.
During times like this she would like to, but her spouse wouldn't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector
The anxiety is definitely rational, as GEoffD notes. I would listen, let them vent. And then ask what preparations they have made. Let them go through their list of what they do have control over, and remind them of what they can't control. Promise what help you can provide when the time comes (even if it's just moral support), and then just give them your time and empathy. When someone comes to you with an IRRATIONAL fear, that's when you walk them through the common anxiety strategies. But as someone with severe anxiety, I have to say that I do best in times of crisis when I'm in tune with the anxiety and just letting it guide me.
Ok thanks - great points and tips. They always board up and play it safe which I think is a great plan. But during the last one, she unraveled quite a bit (took some time to recover) and the hurricane changed course and there was no damage. I think sensationalized news and consistent negative thought patterns plays a big role with the anxiety and unfortunately the thought patterns are tough to reduce.
During times like this she would like to, but her spouse wouldn't.
Ok thanks - great points and tips. They always board up and play it safe which I think is a great plan. But during the last one, she unraveled quite a bit (took some time to recover) and the hurricane changed course and there was no damage. I think sensationalized news and consistent negative thought patterns plays a big role with the anxiety and unfortunately the thought patterns are tough to reduce.
Remind her that she has your love and support. I can't tell you how much that means to me when I'm in one of my spirals.
If I had to live in Florida, I'd have to get a house made out of concrete so it wouldn't get blown down.
I know that it sounds like the 3 little pigs scenario but those hurricanes can sweep the land clean with their winds and water.
About the anxiety, have another house that you can fall back on when the big bad wolf comes to town.
Mother nature can be cruel no matter where you live and acts of God seem to happen all the time and anyplace.
I live in L.A. and people keep talking about the big one that's coming.
Well, this is really about how you want to handle a friend who contacts you about their anxiety.
So, do you want to deal with it? If not, then you need to let them know that.
You could deflect them, by saying, "I hear you that you're upset. Have you talked to your counselor about it?" "I wish I could help, hon, but all I can do is listen. Do you just need to vent? I'm all ears. But, you do realize, I can't actually do anything about this, right?"
And if you just don't want to listen anymore, honestly the easiest thing is to just let calls go to voicemail until you want to call back - or not.
I have family in Florida and one person was really affected last year when they had to evacuate. This is routine where they live their house has always been except for damage about 10 years ago. But the person reaches out to me quite a bit with the concerns and anxiety and I do my best to help but it doesn't resonate. I think there's a lot of underlying anxiety and the unknown hurricane situations brings it out. The person has had a history of anxiety and some depression. Any tips for what might be helpful?
Taking steps, aka planning, if one lives in a disaster zone usually alleviates some of the anxiety. Understanding tripwires for various plans also helps, and sticking with it absent a bunch of prevarication, mewling, and other hesitation helps a lot, too.
There (FL) it's the occasional monster hurricane. It happens, I'm guessing that's a 15 year event requiring actual evacuation, *don't* chew me out if I'm off on the average no. of years. Here in Seattle it's mega-quake prep, which is quite different in the details, but not in how to plan.
So, couple dry bags from Ortlieb that can fit into a car, and/or one you can carry as the primary pack, a checklist sealed in plastic (maybe an emergency waterproof little binder) how to gather up that which matters most in, say, eight to sixteen hours max, four if you're in a hurry. Along with a Communications, Route Planning, Vehicle Checklist, Family (if any), Pet Planning, FEMA Centers, and various other plans for urban survival. All assumes you have what, 24 to 96 hours to evacuate? That's easy. I'd be out of there within 4 hours, tops, of a mandatory notice to evacuate w/my pets, three 50 liter Ortlieb's fully packed w/critical items I don't want ripped off by looters, house boarded up and locked up best I can. I'd either drop in on friends half the continent away, and/or do some camping, or similar for some finite amount of time. Guessing either would make for an anxious week, of course. It's summer down there, so a sweltering hell, and maybe I'd crash in an economical motel instead. All part of my planning.
After I'd put my Comms plan into motion, informing others where I was, and why, and when (best I could), including my place of business, hell my first reaction actually would be to arrive to another city where my work has offices and set up shop there, maintaining continuity of business: AZ, CA, Texas, etc. Whatever is closest. My work is unusual that way, though, with inter and intracontinental teams. We have a woman in Houston right now who is slowly moving back home; she's a real trooper and some of us took parts of her work load as she helped neighbors clean up (her family suffered no ill effects nor did their neighborhood). Drive out there, spend a week, drive home once it's blown through.
Reminds me: I have friends in Broward County, I'm going to ping them right now (should have thought of that earlier). They will probably do something like the above, visiting their elderly parents in Michigan (we grew up blocks apart) for a week or so. That's what I'd do. Good to have alternate plans, though. They are not under mandatory evacuation at this time, per their town's website. So who knows? Be adaptable! Do something!
Maybe it's real, maybe it's bogus, but if you're sufficiently organized you can be O-U-T before every wino, bum, vagrant, and 'hood rat decides "buhahahahaha guess we'd bettah do sumpin buhahahahah" about an hour before the rain starts...kiss the freeways goodbye at that point.
Facing an impending disaster as a helpless victim can be paralyzing. Preparing to deal with a disaster with foresight and a take-charge attitude can be empowering.
The advantage of a hurricane over almost any other type of natural disaster is that you have a fair amount of warning of its approach. In the long term, one generally knows if one lives in an area that is prone to hurricanes. Thus, the OP's relative should know that Florida is subject to being hit, and prepare accordingly. Instead of joining the hordes of people trying to find plywood and nailing it over their windows as the winds are picking up, this person should have sturdy hurricane shutters installed. (Too late for Irma, but this is long-term thinking here.) They can be winched shut in a matter of minutes.
Also, advance planning means having a supply of non-perishable food and water and batteries (or, better yet, a hand-crank or solar radio and flashlight). Keep the car's gas tank close to full during hurricane season instead of waiting until the fuel light is on and then joining the long line at the only gas station left that still has any fuel remaining. Keep important papers organized in such a way that they can be gathered up and taken with you in a very short amount of time.
And then, when a storm begins to threaten, don't sit around and twiddle your thumbs waiting for the government to order an evacuation. You don't need their permission to leave. You should leave well ahead of when the storm is projected to hit. The earlier you go, the lighter the traffic will be, because you'll have beaten the sheep who can't make a decision without the government telling them what to do.
Figure out ahead of time where you'll go and how you'll get there. Know the main route and several alternate routes. If you're in South Florida, you've got six hours of driving, or more, before you hit a state line -- and that's on a good day. Thus, the earlier you get going, the better. There are very few roads leading out of South Florida, so your best bet is to be on one of them before most of your neighbors get the same idea.
And if it's a false alarm, and the storm blows by? No harm done, and you've gotten a little weekend getaway.
I can understand being frightened by a hurricane. I've experienced a few Category 1 storms, and while I'm sure they're nothing like Irma, they were unnerving enough. But being proactive in dealing with the issues will go a long way towards reducing the anxiety.
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