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...I feel myself becoming one more and more all the time.
Most of my life, I've been like this, even when I was a kid. I always had a disdain for how stupid, shallow, hypocritical, and self-righteous people are. Logically, I know that not everyone is like that, that most people also have good qualities, and that I'm not perfect myself, but yet I still find myself feeling morally and intellectually superior to "the masses".
I often see so many people seemingly having fun, light-hearted, laughing easily, generally being a "part" of something that I feel like I merely observe and judge rather than partake in.
In some ways, I'm envious of them for being able to do this. I recognize that is certainly a part of it.
But even beyond that, I just feel annoyed at most people. I feel annoyed that most people are so self-satisfied despite being so tremendously flawed and doing nothing to improve themselves.
Now, like I said, I know I'm not perfect. I've made mistakes and will continue to make them. But on the whole, I feel better than the majority of people because I have trained myself over the years to (almost always) do the following: remain objective and see all sides of a situation, think critically and calmly and not let my emotions steamroll over the facts, treat people with kindness and not participate in any of the cattiness/pettiness/talking behind people's backs **** that a lot of people do, barely ever drink, never do drugs, etc.
I live a goody-two-shoe life, apparently. I'm mostly glad that I am like this, but it only serves to create more barriers between me and most other people. I sometimes wish I could be as carefree, reckless, selfish, and hypocritical as everyone else, since they seem to be happier that way.
Can anyone else relate?
So, OP, in your view, are you the only one in your society who displays those positive qualities you attribute to yourself? You haven't been able to find any kindred spirits? If not, that would be a real concern. Because of course there are other people like yourself, but you're not able to perceive them. You seem to view the world through mud-colored glasses. Are you a loner?
Yikes no I can't relate. I don't care how smart you are, how much money you have, or where you live as long as you're a good person. The rest is just superficial.
Frankly, OP, you are not so special. You imagine that your judgement is superior to all others, because you are "objective." You know, plenty of people think they are special because of religion, high IQ, wealth or other factors they cherish as their own unique characteristics.
I think your overweening sense of yourself probably gets in the way of your personal relationships.
Feeling superior and being superior are 2 different things. The people who are superior don't really spend their time getting off on degrading others. They also attract other superior people into their lives so their interactions with the lower people are largely absent.
Since you're not in that situation, I guess that you are an underachiever who has become bitter towards your fellow man bc you're stuck in their world which then negates your feelings of superiority. If you were superior, you wouldn't be complaining on CD.
I would suggest therapy to get a reality check.
TL, DR you may think you're special, but you're not.
Here's a really simple reason you feel the way you do.
You spend way too much time on the internet. You are exposing yourself to every possible foible, misspelling, dopey outlook, and opinions that don't match your own.
There will always be people who won't see the world as you see it. There has always been 'bad' people, stupid people, hateful people, racist people, 'other culturely' people, etc. But now with the internet, we are exposed to it (If we allow ourselves) 24/7. You flood your brain with stress hormones, getting worked up about things you can't fix.
...I feel myself becoming one more and more all the time.
Most of my life, I've been like this, even when I was a kid. I always had a disdain for how stupid, shallow, hypocritical, and self-righteous people are. Logically, I know that not everyone is like that, that most people also have good qualities, and that I'm not perfect myself, but yet I still find myself feeling morally and intellectually superior to "the masses".
I often see so many people seemingly having fun, light-hearted, laughing easily, generally being a "part" of something that I feel like I merely observe and judge rather than partake in.
In some ways, I'm envious of them for being able to do this. I recognize that is certainly a part of it.
But even beyond that, I just feel annoyed at most people. I feel annoyed that most people are so self-satisfied despite being so tremendously flawed and doing nothing to improve themselves.
Now, like I said, I know I'm not perfect. I've made mistakes and will continue to make them. But on the whole, I feel better than the majority of people because I have trained myself over the years to (almost always) do the following: remain objective and see all sides of a situation, think critically and calmly and not let my emotions steamroll over the facts, treat people with kindness and not participate in any of the cattiness/pettiness/talking behind people's backs **** that a lot of people do, barely ever drink, never do drugs, etc.
I live a goody-two-shoe life, apparently. I'm mostly glad that I am like this, but it only serves to create more barriers between me and most other people. I sometimes wish I could be as carefree, reckless, selfish, and hypocritical as everyone else, since they seem to be happier that way.
Can anyone else relate?
Yep. Outside of the fact that I drink pretty heavily, I'm with you on everything you said.
Here's a really simple reason you feel the way you do.
You spend way too much time on the internet. You are exposing yourself to every possible foible, misspelling, dopey outlook, and opinions that don't match your own.
There will always be people who won't see the world as you see it. There has always been 'bad' people, stupid people, hateful people, racist people, 'other culturely' people, etc. But now with the internet, we are exposed to it (If we allow ourselves) 24/7. You flood your brain with stress hormones, getting worked up about things you can't fix.
Step back.
[Excessive] usage of the Internet is not required to cultivate the feelings that the OP is expressing here; exposure to people via any medium (including, gasp, 'real life') will do just fine.
Feeling superior and being superior are 2 different things. The people who are superior don't really spend their time getting off on degrading others. They also attract other superior people into their lives so their interactions with the lower people are largely absent.
Since you're not in that situation, I guess that you are an underachiever who has become bitter towards your fellow man bc you're stuck in their world which then negates your feelings of superiority. If you were superior, you wouldn't be complaining on CD.
I would suggest therapy to get a reality check.
TL, DR you may think you're special, but you're not.
'superior' is subjective. OP sounds like he's both intellectually and morally judgmental of his fellow man, which is a relatively easy path to lonerdom. I speak from experience.
[Excessive] usage of the Internet is not required to cultivate the feelings that the OP is expressing here; exposure to people via any medium (including, gasp, 'real life') will do just fine.
But with the internet, you are exposing yourself MUCH MUCH MUCH more to opinions and rhetoric and ideas you may disagree with (sometimes very strongly) at constant and very fast rate. Indeed, it's not just the internet though. We have 24 hour news cycles which our brains seem addicted to, and we don't give ourselves time to assimilate the information, or even take refruge FROM the constant onslaught of information.
How you view the world is ultimately a choice. There's so much sad and frankly ugly in the world, and we're wired to notice things like that because missing some sign of danger or threat can get us killed. Our ancestors wouldn't have survived if they weren't attuned to the negative, and we are them in large part. But......
Our ancestors wouldn't have survived if they hadn't looked out for each other, either. It's just as instinctive when three young men who look like they're searching for something to vandalize instead form a human chain and pull a drowning puppy from a storm culvert. When a man carries a woman whose child sleeps on her chest to safety. When a first grade teacher dies trying to save her class from a gunman. Our inherited human nature drives those acts just as much as it drives selfishness or violence. You get to choose which part of our nature you focus on.
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