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There are some very helpful people, certainly. And by helpful, I mean those who provide respectful and insightful responses to an OP's question or inquiry on a subject. There are also some who seem very judgmental and lack empathy toward's an individual's situation. These people act as if they know it all, but in reality, it's actually their lack of experience that contributes towards their abrasiveness and obtuseness.
There are also some who seem very judgmental and lack empathy toward's an individual's situation.
Especially in the Work & Employment forum. It is automatically assumed that one is without a job due to ones own choices. Some never stop to think that maybe the company closed down permanently. Or maybe one was stricken with a terrible illness that caused them to be out of the workforce for a while. No one can control sickness.
Especially in the Work & Employment forum. It is automatically assumed that one is without a job due to ones own choices. Some never stop to think that maybe the company closed down permanently. Or maybe one was stricken with a terrible illness that caused them to be out of the workforce for a while. No one can control sickness.
The community at the W&E sub is one of the worst culprits of this. I feel like there is a strong "us vs. them" mentality there. If you're an "employee" there and present an issue, you're going to have at least a few people tell you how disposable, replaceable, low worth, etc., that you are if you vent about a particular employment issue.
I get the impression that these types of people find pleasure in saying these kinds of things to other people. I think it makes them feel powerful in their otherwise impotent existence.
Especially in the Work & Employment forum. It is automatically assumed that one is without a job due to ones own choices. Some never stop to think that maybe the company closed down permanently. Or maybe one was stricken with a terrible illness that caused them to be out of the workforce for a while. No one can control sickness.
No one is saying this doesn't happen and that some people who have fallen on hard times aren't deserving of sympathy.
A few years ago, I got caught up in a series of layoffs that were nearly devastating to me financially. But you know what? I put myself in that situation. I moved back to Tennessee from Iowa with only a contract that paid little more than half of what I was making in Iowa. I was a full time, benefited employee in Iowa. The plan was for me to move back, stay for a short period, then move to a major Southern metro where I'd have better job luck. I never got a regional offer and that didn't happen.
I knew the company that I was contracting for was on shaky financial ground. I knew I was potentially entering a bad situation, but made an emotional decision to move back because I missed my family. I was younger then, and knowing what I know now, I would not have moved until I could leave Iowa in a more organized fashion.
While the layoff itself was out of my control, I put myself in a situation that was risky.
The community at the W&E sub is one of the worst culprits of this. I feel like there is a strong "us vs. them" mentality there. If you're an "employee" there and present an issue, you're going to have at least a few people tell you how disposable, replaceable, low worth, etc., that you are if you vent about a particular employment issue.
I get the impression that these types of people find pleasure in saying these kinds of things to other people. I think it makes them feel powerful in their otherwise impotent existence.
I've seen that attitude from some of the pro-employer posters, but I don't think it's a majority.
A lot of people post dumb questions that if they thought for a few minutes about it, the answer would be pretty clear. You also have a lot of folks, including myself sometimes, that like to throw out red meat for discussion.
No one is saying this doesn't happen and that some people who have fallen on hard times aren't deserving of sympathy.
A few years ago, I got caught up in a series of layoffs that were nearly devastating to me financially. But you know what? I put myself in that situation. I moved back to Tennessee from Iowa with only a contract that paid little more than half of what I was making in Iowa. I was a full time, benefited employee in Iowa. The plan was for me to move back, stay for a short period, then move to a major Southern metro where I'd have better job luck. I never got a regional offer and that didn't happen.
I knew the company that I was contracting for was on shaky financial ground. I knew I was potentially entering a bad situation, but made an emotional decision to move back because I missed my family. I was younger then, and knowing what I know now, I would not have moved until I could leave Iowa in a more organized fashion.
While the layoff itself was out of my control, I put myself in a situation that was risky.
Any major life change carries risks. Some of those types of changes, especially those initiated by one's self, command more criticism than others. See my two anecdotal examples below that illustrate this.
Ten years ago, immediately after college, I moved across country with no job, no family, or friends in the region I moved to. I grew up in the Rust Belt and I wanted a change in scenery and a better economic climate. I think a lot of (older, more established) folks would be critical of such a decision, especially if it did not work out well and I came here to complain about it. Fair enough; I feel the criticism would be deserved as it was a very risky position to put myself into. Fortunately, the move paid dividends and I've been living here relatively successfully ever since.
On the other hand, I took a job 1.5 years ago. I did extensive amounts of research on the company (Glassdoor reviews, benefit analysis....you name it), had multiple job offers I was comparing it to, etc. I decided to take the job because the benefits were great, the reputation of the organization as a whole was really good, the commute was good, it was in the industry I wanted to work in, and so on and so on. Well, it just so happened that I came on board during a very turbulent period within the particular segment of the organization I work for. My hiring manager was fired, multiple C-levels were let go as well. There has been a leadership vacuum in the org over the period I've been there. The attrition rate, as a result, has been extraordinarily high. Though I've been a great contributor to multiple teams and have received tons of praise and a superior annual review, my career trajectory is stagnant. I've been blocked by my manager from moving to other departments where I felt it'd be a better fit for my skills and experience on a couple of different occasions. We just got a new manager recently who is treating us like the hourly customer service subordinates she had managed before. I've been a salaried employee for almost a decade, and I'm being treated like an hourly noob right out of high school or college. It's extremely frustrating after everything else I've had to deal with at this company.
Would you say that it's fair to be just as critical of my decision in the latter example as the first example?
People make choices, you're right. Some are bone-headed for sure, and they may demand a higher level of criticism. But sometimes circumstances work against us, even when we put a lot of thought into a decision. The world does not operate in some idealistic fantasy where X amount of effort is always rewarded proportionately with Y output. Sometimes life doesn't go as planned, and I think people need to be aware of that before they go on a tirade against poor decision making, lack of work ethic, etc. because of some idealistic paradigm they have mapped out in their brain. There are a ton of examples out there where people work hard, put much thought into their decisions, and do everything possible to go about life in the right way, but life decides it has other plans for them instead.
Last edited by Left-handed; 09-14-2017 at 12:17 PM..
I agree. I also agree that forums like these are for people to "vent" or "get advice on a certain issue/situation" so it comes with the territory. I mean think about it, people rarely start a thread stating how rosy and glorious their life is and how they have no worries at all and are so HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY! But yes, I have picked up on that also.
I have also caught myself replying to some posts in a "sorry your life sucks, but here is an example of my perfect life" type of way. I now try my hardest to provide advice and not make a reply "about me". I'm not perfect and recognize how I might come off at certain times with my comments on here.
That is for Facebook, Istagram etc. Have you ever noticed the most lovey dovey one will end up getting divorced. Seen it twice.
Hubs and I practically ignore each other on FB. All our close friends know we are happily married. Who cares what others think.
Any major life change carries risks. Some of those types of changes, especially those initiated by one's self, command more criticism than others. See my two anecdotal examples below that illustrate this.
Ten years ago, immediately after college, I moved across country with no job, no family, or friends in the region I moved to. I grew up in the Rust Belt and I wanted a change in scenery and a better economic climate. I think a lot of (older, more established) folks would be critical of such a decision, especially if it did not work out well and I came here to complain about it. Fair enough; I feel the criticism would be deserved as it was a very risky position to put myself into. Fortunately, the move paid dividends and I've been living here relatively successfully ever since.
On the other hand, I took a job 1.5 years ago. I did extensive amounts of research on the company (Glassdoor reviews, benefit analysis....you name it), had multiple job offers I was comparing it to, etc. I decided to take the job because the benefits were great, the reputation of the organization as a whole was really good, the commute was good, it was in the industry I wanted to work in, and so on and so on. Well, it just so happened that I came on board during a very turbulent period within the particular segment of the organization I work for. My hiring manager was fired, multiple C-levels were let go as well. There has been a leadership vacuum in the org over the period I've been there. The attrition rate, as a result, has been extraordinarily high. Though I've been a great contributor to multiple teams and have received tons of praise and a superior annual review, my career trajectory is stagnant. I've been blocked by my manager from moving to other departments where I felt it'd be a better fit for my skills and experience on a couple of different occasions. We just got a new manager recently who is treating us like the hourly customer service subordinates she had managed before. I've been a salaried employee for almost a decade, and I'm being treated like an hourly noob right out of high school or college. It's extremely frustrating after everything else I've had to deal with at this company.
Would you say that it's fair to be just as critical of my decision in the latter example as the first example?
People make choices, you're right. Some are bone-headed for sure, and they may demand a higher level of criticism. But sometimes circumstances work against us, even when we put a lot of thought into a decision. The world does not operate in some idealistic fantasy where X amount of effort is always rewarded proportionately with Y output. Sometimes life doesn't go as planned, and I think people need to be aware of that before they go on a tirade against poor decision making, lack of work ethic, etc. because of some idealistic paradigm they have mapped out in their brain. There are a ton of examples out there where people work hard, put much thought into their decisions, and do everything possible to go about life in the right way, but life decides it has other plans for them instead.
Ultimately you have to decide when you've had enough at this employer. I also got into a mess with a highly regarded company. The place had won multiple "best place to work" awards in the industry and city. It paid well, benefits looked great, etc.
I was hired as a core banking software administrator. All I did the first week was run ethernet cable. This job never got off the ground. It was the most awkward situation I've ever been in professionally.
Things like this happen. It may be their fault, your fault, or nobody's fault. Sometimes things change none of us can predict. However, the real test is knowing when "to fish or cut bait," as we like to see in these parts.
Many of the have-nots who come on here complaining have serious entitlement issues.
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All our close friends know we are happily married. Who cares what others think.
