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People who don't NEED other people in order to function and be happy aren't necessarily loners. If you aren't happy with yourself, the relationships you have in life aren't going to make you happy. And when you are happy with yourself, you seek out relationships with other people that enrich your life. You don't look for someone else to complete you, but you do look for others that add to your life. They give you pleasure, they add to your knowledge of the world, they enrich your life in some way.
People who don't NEED other people in order to function and be happy aren't necessarily loners. If you aren't happy with yourself, the relationships you have in life aren't going to make you happy. And when you are happy with yourself, you seek out relationships with other people that enrich your life. You don't look for someone else to complete you, but you do look for others that add to your life. They give you pleasure, they add to your knowledge of the world, they enrich your life in some way.
Thats just like, your opinion, man...
I am not saying I am unhappy about myself. I just sometimes feel.. empty. That doesnt mean I am not happy about myself. The only thing I am not super happy about is that I have been using way too much lube as of late. But then again, I would still be using it with someone else too...
Last edited by VanMarlton; 09-18-2017 at 10:12 AM..
I am not saying I am unhappy about myself. I just sometimes feel.. empty. That doesnt mean I am not happy about myself. The only thing I am not super happy about is that I have been using way too much lube as of late. But then again, I would still be using it with someone else too...
Everyone on occasion feels lonely or empty. Everyone gets the blues sometime. But your relationships don't fix your life. If you are searching for someone to complete your life, to fill the emptiness, you're going to have problems. No one person can complete you, no one person can fill the emptiness. And if you put those kinds of expectations on another person, they won't stay with you. They may run as soon as they become aware of how needy you are. Or they may enjoy feeling needed and stay with you until it gets old and they find someone else.
It sounds to me like you are looking to connect with other people, and you're feeling frustrated because, for whatever reason, those connections aren't being made. If you are happy with yourself, and feel like you've got a lot to offer, and there are people you've met at these social gatherings that you've attended, then you may need to take the initiative. People live busy lives today, and they aren't always going to reach out to you. You are offering to enrich their lives, and hopefully in return you'll get great experiences.
Everyone on occasion feels lonely or empty. Everyone gets the blues sometime. But your relationships don't fix your life. If you are searching for someone to complete your life, to fill the emptiness, you're going to have problems. No one person can complete you, no one person can fill the emptiness. And if you put those kinds of expectations on another person, they won't stay with you. They may run as soon as they become aware of how needy you are. Or they may enjoy feeling needed and stay with you until it gets old and they find someone else.
This conversation is going in circles. Like I said, everyone has their opinion on the matter and that just happens to be yours.
I dont know if you are a sexually active person at all, but you dont seem to be getting it.
then why did you even post a question, if you had no intention of even trying to understand another point of view besides your own.
I was trying to point out that that sort of thinking is erroneous. And that people should be seeking out partners to improve their lives, whether they feel or
Its a life improvement thing. If youre not happy with job, should you seek something better or try to feel "happy" about it?
People who don't NEED other people in order to function and be happy aren't necessarily loners. If you aren't happy with yourself, the relationships you have in life aren't going to make you happy. And when you are happy with yourself, you seek out relationships with other people that enrich your life. You don't look for someone else to complete you, but you do look for others that add to your life. They give you pleasure, they add to your knowledge of the world, they enrich your life in some way.
Yes, this, exactly. It doesn't mean that content people never get lonely, but that doesn't really have anything to do with being a complete person, and it doesn't mean that happiness comes from others.
I know it's a tired internet cliche, but I wonder if you're more of an extrovert, OP. You get charged up by being around people. I don't know what you want us to say, here.
VanMarlton;49553316]I was trying to point out that that sort of thinking is erroneous. And that people should be seeking out partners to improve their lives, whether they feel or
No, actually it isn't erroneous....and yes, you should seek out partners that improve your life, but, most people don't.
Here are some reasons why people get married....
1. Our society dictates, you have to be married to be successful
2. People marry b/c their parents expect them to
3. People marry to be taken care of
4. for money
5. out of lonliness
6. fear of being alone or doing things alone
7. they actually think and believe this other person is going to make them happy
All the wrong reasons to be married!
so, while I know where your coming from, it is in fact a great topic for others to ponder who are dependent on marriage for all the wrong reasons.
What's wrong with people being happy by themselves? Why can't being happy by yourself be just as normal and desiring a relationship with someone?
To me, getting a partner is something that either naturally happens or it doesn't. If a relationship was THAT important when it comes to living, we would have a mate as soon as we came out of the womb. Relationships are optional, not mandatory. If you want a partner, go out and do what you need to do to find one.
To me, having a partner is something that comes naturally. If a relationship was THAT important when it comes to living, we would have a mate as soon as we came out of the womb. Relationships are optional, not mandatory. If you want a partner, go out and do what you need to do to find one.
Yeah, this I actually agree with
EXCEPT. There was this guy maslow who came up with this:
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