How do narcissist have so many friends ? (narcissists, woman, mom)
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I'm for sure my friend is a narcissist. She is having a baby shower, she invited 300 people. 300 freaking people. She made a website dedicated to her baby shower. It has three registrars on it and she has also made a calendar of days that people can dedicate their time to coming over and helping with the baby once the baby is here. She also states flights are cheap right now so people should try to fly out for if they can.
IT'S A FREAKING BABY SHOWER! I'm just wondering how so many people can just go along with this. Her guestbook is flooded with comments from people.
I want to know how someone like this has been able to keep a wide variety of friends.
I see this all the time. People use each other for entertainment and social purposes, but really are not friends at all. We have a member of our family like that. People can't stand her, and yet she is busy every night going out with friends. And she has no idea that she is universally disliked; I have heard her say, "Everyone likes me", and she really believes it.
I wonder the same thing to, like how someone can post something trivial on Facebook and get 50 likes.. I don't care who you are, or your backround, it's psychologically impossible to really have more then 2-3 really close good friends..
Think about it this way, how many people consistently occupy your short term memory? How many people do you think you occupy their short term memory consistently?
As a layman, I am very cautious about diagnosing myself and others with personality disorders. Yes, I am capable of reading the DSM V. Yes, I have brushed up against a few people in my life I "strongly suspect" have disorders, specifically Borderline Personality Disorder and (whatever they call) Psychopathy and (ditto) Autism Spectrum disorder(s). It seems to me the latter is rampant in a tech center such as Seattle, judging only by the symptoms exhibited.
That's all my opinion, however. I have degrees in hard science, MIS, and business topics (finance, marketing, etc.) Not psychology or an M.D. (required for psychiatry).
What I understand about narcissists is that they are charming, but it's all about them in just about every way. Based on a couple paragraphs, your friend sounds like someone with a lot of audacity to invite 300 people to a "baby shower," though no comment was made how many OP suspects may actually arrive. That sounds like a $10-20K event, w/catering and hall rental, off the top of my head so must be rather important to someone. The trick will be convincing others of the importance, too.
If I woman I knew threw a 300 person baby shower, and I were a woman, I'd be tempted a to go just for the gala. I wouldn't dwell on if someone is a "narcissist"; in my opinion that is borderline-rude.
As a layman, I am very cautious about diagnosing myself and others with personality disorders. Yes, I am capable of reading the DSM V. Yes, I have brushed up against a few people in my life I "strongly suspect" have disorders, specifically Borderline Personality Disorder and (whatever they call) Psychopathy and (ditto) Autism Spectrum disorder(s). It seems to me the latter is rampant in a tech center such as Seattle, judging only by the symptoms exhibited.
That's all my opinion, however. I have degrees in hard science, MIS, and business topics (finance, marketing, etc.) Not psychology or an M.D. (required for psychiatry).
What I understand about narcissists is that they are charming, but it's all about them in just about every way. Based on a couple paragraphs, your friend sounds like someone with a lot of audacity to invite 300 people to a "baby shower," though no comment was made how many OP suspects may actually arrive. That sounds like a $10-20K event, w/catering and hall rental, off the top of my head so must be rather important to someone. The trick will be convincing others of the importance, too.
If I woman I knew threw a 300 person baby shower, and I were a woman, I'd be tempted a to go just for the gala. I wouldn't dwell on if someone is a "narcissist"; in my opinion that is borderline-rude.
Yea I think thats what it is. The charming aspect of a narcissist. They are constantly putting on facade so it may be easier for them to make friends. I just don't see how people can't see through it. Maybe it's because I have known her for a long time so I can gauge that.
The thing is, it isn't a gala. Her and her fiance don't live an extravagant financial life(they actually consider themselves humble in that sense). Aldo she recently made a go fund me account for "pregnancy expenses" so I doubt she's forking over anywhere close to 10k-20k for her baby shower.
Narcissists are confident and emotionally supportive when their wants are not being challenged. They're quite nice to be around... until they're not.
I think this is very true because we have been good friends but once I started noticing something was a bit off and I questioned some of the things she would do, she would somehow turn everything around on me.
I think this is very true because we have been good friends but once I started noticing something was a bit off and I questioned some of the things she would do, she would somehow turn everything around on me.
They're vicious when you question them. I've often wondered if my father qualified because of this. If I could logically explain to him that he was wrong in his actions - he would breezily tell me he didn't care or actually change what he was doing. He never got mad at being challenged. My mother will go from pleasant and giggly to vicious, eviscerating rage whenever she's challenged in the slightest way. I know how to eviscerate with words, but it's not a weapon I use frequently.
Yeah, both of my parents are narcissists, though Mom might be something a step beyond that. Fun times.
Chances are she keeps most of these people at arm's length until she really needs something from them. I know someone *I* think is a narc who is the same way - a lot of hangers-on, but I wonder how close he is really to them, and how well do they know him? Because I've seen some very crappy sides to this man's personality that make me glad I am not in contact with him anymore.
Quote:
And she has no idea that she is universally disliked; I have heard her say, "Everyone likes me", and she really believes it.
One thing someone told me who used to work with this guy is that he was NOT as well-liked by his co-workers as he thought he was. They thought him to be quite the "know it all" because that was how he came across.
IMO he is fun to drink and party with, but not for much else.
Last edited by ContraPagan; 09-29-2017 at 02:27 PM..
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It sounds more like entitlement than narcissism. I was invited to a baby shower for a woman I barely know. And no, I'm not going.
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