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I had a patient dad, who kept his patience even after I busted the seals on his power steering from turning the wheel too hard repeatedly.
Me, I'm impatient and so when it came to my wife learning to drive, we did what so many others here have advised: contracted with a pro to teach her. She used Sears.
Not sure whether you have the same problem that I had when I was young and learning how to drive, but you mentioned that you have some difficulty keeping the car on the straight course ( such that it goes too close to the curb or to the center line), which makes me think my advice could be useful. Young man, where do you look when you drive? I could not prevent the car from weaving left and right, which also somehow prevented me from seeing everything I needed to see (yes, the pesky stop signs), and made my learning process embarassingky prolonged...... until one day a new driving instructor (I went through a number of them :-) ) told me that, while driving, I should direct my gaze STRAIGHT AHEAD INTO HORiZON, INTO FAR DISTANCE, and the car will automatically follow my gaze in the straight line (without going to the curb or center). As I started gazing into distance, the car indeed miraculously followed, and I somehow started catching everything else as well in my peripheral vision (eg, the stop signs). My driving immediately improved several million percent, and I have been driving fairly uneventfully for the subsequent 40 years. Try it: direct your gaze straight ahead into far distance.
Again, to clarify my own post (since I'm not with you in the car and cannot fine-tune my comments as we go), this doesn't mean that you can't ever look anywhere except straight at the distance - you will learn with time to give quick glances all the time to interesting things on and around the road - but majority of your time should be spent looking straight in the distance, from the moment you start the car. Or, as that guy long ago told me, don't look where the car is, but look in the direction where you want to drive it (if you keep looking whether the car is too close to the curb, the car will indeed keep going into the curb. Your steering overall unconsciously follows your eyes, and the car will always have a tendency to go in the direction in which you are looking).
One thing you shouldn't think is that you are too stupid to drive. Actually, a part of the problem might be that you are too intelligent. It is well known in aviation psychology that very smart, analytic people do not have an easy time learning how to fly (a middling intelligence is the best for that type of task) because they routinely fall victim to something called selective attention - they concentrate too much on one little detail of the whole picture, failing to perceive all other details. The only defense against selective attention errors is to relax and actually try NOT to think too hard about what you are doing, just let things flow. Driving, like walking or swimming, is largely a function of automatic brain, not so much of thinking brain.
And I actually probably should not say you should look into an infinitely far distance (because there might be some hairpin curves between you and the infinitely far distance), but into the distance about 20-30 feet ahead of the car.
Not sure whether you have the same problem that I had when I was young and learning how to drive, but you mentioned that you have some difficulty keeping the car on the straight course ( such that it goes too close to the curb or to the center line), which makes me think my advice could be useful. Young man, where do you look when you drive? I could not prevent the car from weaving left and right, which also somehow prevented me from seeing everything I needed to see (yes, the pesky stop signs), and made my learning process embarassingky prolonged...... until one day a new driving instructor (I went through a number of them :-) ) told me that, while driving, I should direct my gaze STRAIGHT AHEAD INTO HORiZON, INTO FAR DISTANCE, and the car will automatically follow my gaze in the straight line (without going to the curb or center). As I started gazing into distance, the car indeed miraculously followed, and I somehow started catching everything else as well in my peripheral vision (eg, the stop signs). My driving immediately improved several million percent, and I have been driving fairly uneventfully for the subsequent 40 years. Try it: direct your gaze straight ahead into far distance.
This is a great post!
Yes, the car will go where your eyes are focused. That is the key. You can *overthink* it
This is also why texting and other distractions are such a problem on the roads today
No, he's me, and I'm you, and maybe you're him. There are at least three of us on this thread whose experiences are roughly equivalent. Maybe you didn't read my response.
I actually didn't mention that I went to a therapeutic hypnotist shortly before I took the leap. At the time, I thought, "Well, this is lame. This isn't going to help." But it was shortly thereafter that I started to drive and my life has never been the same. (Still, after 33 years of driving, though, I can't and won't parallel park!)
Yes, I know, but when you own a car, why take public transit? It's silly. My husband will NEVER ever agree to selling our cars and take public transit. So since a car is available and I'm physically able to drive, why not? I don't like it and I'm scared stiff every time, but it's really the fastest way.
I own a car and love my car, but there are many destinations that I don’t feel comfortable driving to, so I take Uber/Lyft when I don’t trust myself to do the driving. Yes, it can be expensive but I’m glad the service exists since I don’t use public transportation. (And I know it probably sounds weird that I have anxiety about driving myself to certain places but I don’t have anxiety about getting in a car with a stranger and letting them drive me somewhere. lol)
You will get stressed out, self concussions etc when somebody is always watching you, critiquing you.
I learned how to drive at 22 so don't feel too bad. My husband taught me, and it got to the point where I was fed up with the attitude from him, I said, F this, i'm done. We had bad fights during this time ...
I scheduled to drive up and I passed. It makes a huge difference who you have in the driver seat.
And this whole thing you are worried about staying in the center of the road, driving too close to the curb etc...Please...half the drivers on the road do the same thing. I think everybody except me sucks at driving..lol!
You will be fine.
But yes, please, go thought a driving school or practice with somebody who doesn't know you. AND, get a DRIVING permit and take your written test in order to obtain a legal permit!
Find a good professional instructor (not your brother or friend) who teaches defensive driving techniques.
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