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The more radical feminists never advise women to always be on their guard, like any sensible person should. They seem to think that it excuses the men who assault women. They say that it's all on men, who should just stop being rapists.
Except, the world has always been full of criminals who by the definition of being criminal, don't follow laws. Rapists don't cease to rape just because you think they should, even though you are correct.
By not advising women to avoid dangerous situations, we only create more victims. It's a real disservice to women to give them the idea that they shouldn't worry about putting themselves in vulnerable situations because men SHOULDN'T be rapists.
That said, I think the phrase "take some responsibility" is not accurate. The rapist is solely responsible for rape. A better phrase to convey what you mean is, she "allowed herself to be vulnerable" to a rapist by going home with a total stranger and being so drunk that she was easy to overcome.
Harvey Weistein is disgusting and has nothing to do with the SPECIFIC SCENARIO I am talking about. Nothing.
I haven't lead a sheltered life. At all. I've noticed that posters will often say "you just don't understand" as an argument. Doesn't hold water and is not a response to any statement I've made.
There is no rape culture. There are a few disgusting men. A few does not mean ALL.
If there were a rape culture, you'd see women attacked 24 hours a day, in the streets, in their homes, on the bus, in the produce aisle, just happening all over everywhere. you would literally WITNESS it. But that's not reality.
I've also noticed the ones that cry rape culture are those that often work in the industry (rape hotlines/support groups). It's easy to believe that it happens to all women when that is what you are surrounded by all day. It's a warped perspective.
Again, common sense. Protect yourself. Don't KNOWINGLY go into what could be a bad situation.
Please enlighten us on other potential bad situations we should avoid. I'd really like to know where I'm allowed to go, and where I'm not.
That's stupid. Bad people tend to bad things where they won't be seen, because so far, it's still illegal.
And no one is saying it happens to all women.
And Harvey Weinstein IS relevant to the topic. Hollywood is a nod and a wink, open secret, "it's just what I gotta do to get ahead" culture, where laying down on the casting couch is one of the catches to being a starlet. Hollywood practically DEFINES rape culture, so Weinstein is VERY topical to the conversation.
So going to someone's home is now justification for rape? Perhaps it was a poor decision. But, it wasn't an invitation to be raped. If she'd had a crystal ball, do you think she would have gone to his home knowing he was going to rape her? Would anyone knowingly put themselves in that situation? Of course not.
We (humans) tend to think the best of others not the worst. Perhaps he was a charming and nice guy in the bar and so she felt completely safe. Have you ever met someone and liked them only to be proven wrong later when you discover they're not as nice as you first perceived? I have. I've just been lucky that the consequences of my faulty perception were not as dire as being raped.
There is no justification for rape. There is COMMON SENSE that you don't put yourself in that situation.
Don't want to get raped while drunk by a stranger in a strange location?
DON'T GO HOME WITH HIM.
It's funny how no one will acknowledge that avoiding a bad situation always leads a positive outcome. Walking into a bad situation has the possibility that you WILL get harmed.
Shocking that people are arguing AGAINST protecting females. Especially since kids are taught from day 1 stay away from strangers. But if a woman gets drunk, goes to a stranger's house that's perfectly SMART behavior.
Read my posts. My ex-BF got jumped by two guys when he went to a woman's house after drinking with her in bar. They wanted to rob him. They were waiting in the house for when she returned with her *mark*.
It's never smart to get drunk and go somewhere ALONE with a stranger to a strange location.
But apparently most people here think it is a really good idea. Even though bad things happen to those that do it. Because responsibility of personal safety doesn't matter. Getting drunk and going somewhere is more important than personal safety apparently.
Go figure (common sense has left the building).
I haven't seen one person claim it's "smart" to get drunk and go somewhere alone with a stranger. But, being dumb is not a crime. In the case of your ex he made a dumb decision, but that doesn't mean he "deserved" what happened to him. He did not. He was not willingly agreeing to be robbed. Nor is a woman willingly agreeing to be raped.
Please enlighten us on other potential bad situations we should avoid. I'd really like to know where I'm allowed to go, and where I'm not.
That's stupid. Bad people tend to bad things where they won't be seen, because so far, it's still illegal.
And no one is saying it happens to all women.
And Harvey Weinstein IS relevant to the topic. Hollywood is a nod and a wink, open secret, "it's just what I gotta do to get ahead" culture, where laying down on the casting couch is one of the catches to being a starlet. Hollywood practically DEFINES rape culture, so Weinstein is VERY topical to the conversation.
Yeah, to use Venice's logic, because women aren't constantly being raped in front of our very eyes on the street 24 hours a day, there is no problem.
You know, it's rare that you see ignorant stubbornness as rampant as yours, newtovenice. But educating boys does not mean we have to stop educating girls. Do you really think that people aren't already telling women to "be careful"?
Awareness and prevention campaigns are more prevalent than ever. Yet rape is still happening.
Pride goeth before a fall, venice. Better be careful out there
Please enlighten us on other potential bad situations we should avoid. I'd really like to know where I'm allowed to go, and where I'm not.
That's stupid. Bad people tend to bad things where they won't be seen, because so far, it's still illegal.
And no one is saying it happens to all women.
And Harvey Weinstein IS relevant to the topic. Hollywood is a nod and a wink, open secret, "it's just what I gotta do to get ahead" culture, where laying down on the casting couch is one of the catches to being a starlet. Hollywood practically DEFINES rape culture, so Weinstein is VERY topical to the conversation.
Bad situations?
Easy peasey.
Don't walk in the middle of the road
Don't leave your car unlocked at the mall.
Don't leave your oven on when you go on vacation.
Don't post that you are going on vacation for two week on your social media page.
Don't leave your wallet in the bathroom when the plumber is fixing the toilet.
Don't eat food that is past the expiration date.
Want more? I've got tons.
OH, and
Don't get drunk and go home with strange men to strange locations.
There is no justification for rape. There is COMMON SENSE that you don't put yourself in that situation.
Don't want to get raped while drunk by a stranger in a strange location?
DON'T GO HOME WITH HIM.
It's funny how no one will acknowledge that avoiding a bad situation always leads a positive outcome. Walking into a bad situation has the possibility that you WILL get harmed.
Shocking that people are arguing AGAINST protecting females. Especially since kids are taught from day 1 stay away from strangers. But if a woman gets drunk, goes to a stranger's house that's perfectly SMART behavior.
People are arguing because your version of "protecting" females is to put the burden solely on women since men clearly can't be expected to curb themselves from raping them otherwise. If men stopped raping women, then it wouldn't matter how women dress or how much they drink or where they go. It would be safe regardless. Why not concentrate on correcting the ILLEGAL behavior (rape) and stop harping on curtailing the LEGAL behavior of women?
I haven't seen one person claim it's "smart" to get drunk and go somewhere alone with a stranger. But, being dumb is not a crime. In the case of your ex he made a dumb decision, but that doesn't mean he "deserved" what happened to him. He did not. He was not willingly agreeing to be robbed. Nor is a woman willingly agreeing to be raped.
Nope. But more crimes happen to dumb people.
Do you want to be a victim of crime?
Then act DUMB. Make DUMB choices.
If you want to get burned, stick your hand in the fire.
This whole notion of personal awareness and safety...that's what people say to keep women down. In other countries, women have to completely cover up, and can't go out in public without an escort. The reasoning is the same. "It's just common sense" "It's for her safety" "She must not be allowed to entice men to do bad things."
Apples and Oranges
There's a huge difference between a third-world country with a culture that doesn't value the lives of women, and with extraordinarily ineffective policing and corrupt judicial systems vs. the situation the OP laid out.
The example given was of a woman choosing to trust a total stranger, enter his home alone, and be in such a state of inebriation that she does not even know what's happening.
Come on now. That's just serving yourself up on a silver platter. This is a failure of even the most basic rules of self defense.
Having a notion of personal awareness and safety is EMPOWERING to women. Why, oh why, would you think it's empowering to let down all defenses and common sense?
People are arguing because your version of "protecting" females is to put the burden solely on women since men clearly can't be expected to curb themselves from raping them otherwise. If men stopped raping women, then it wouldn't matter how women dress or how much they drink or where they go. It would be safe regardless. Why not concentrate on correcting the ILLEGAL behavior (rape) and stop harping on curtailing the LEGAL behavior of women?
No where did say that rape is OK. No where.
What behavior of women is curtailed when they make good decisions?
Why are people so reluctant for women to behave in a manner that will HELP them?
If there are two ways home, one through a horribly crime ridden neighborhood where people are shot every night or a highway that bypasses it safely, which route will YOU choose?
To chance getting shot?
Or to drive home safely?
from the posters here, they'd rather chance getting shot because it's not their fault they got shot, than make the SMART and SAFE decision and get home safely.
Mind boggling.
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