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I'm so sorry about your experience. But be careful here. We have a troll committed to triggering.
Do you feel that acknowledging your role makes you at fault for being assaulted? IOW, responsible for the rapist's actions?
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
You seem to be picking a fight with everyone who posts, regardless of whether they agree with the OP or not--it's hard to tell what you're advocating for.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
That's a lie. Do you want to think that through and try again?
A lie? Fleetiebelle even left a bit of wiggle room for you to explain a possible misperception - your reaction makes one wonder.
I think you're confusing a lot of people - and I wouldn't call them all stupid. Either you're MPD or perhaps there's another person posting on your account? ...sounds like you're going off the rails.
That was one of reasons I asked if she was victim, she is in attack mode (and insult mode, which is always a questionable stance).
There was one post where fleet said something about what others say, and she attacked fleet for saying it.
It's to the point where I am confused what her stance is, it is really unclear to me. I can't make heads or tails of it.
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You actually make me want to side on any side you are not on. Which would put me like pro-rape, which obviously I won't / can't do.
Usually advocates have a great way with people (it's part of the job), but you seem to find offense where there is none, result to name calling....... your like a one woman wrecking crew against those of us that were on the same side.
You are rude when talking to people, condescending and have a false sense of superiority.
Did I mention unlikable?
Most of those you are picking fights with (insulting them) I don't even know why!?? We are anti rape, anti blame....
"...While the perpetrator is solely guilty for the assault, the woman in this case did things of her own volition that dramatically increased her risk.."
I agree that a perpetrator is solely guilty for any assault but I think women need to be more careful about what they do and try to avoid risky situations. For instance, the women who went to a certain Hollywood producer's HOTEL ROOM. Why? What did they think was going to happen there? Jogging in parks in the dark--? Going into questionable bars by yourself late at night. One night stands with strangers. Driving to secluded areas to buy things from strangers. Leaving doors unlocked and blinds up at night. The list goes on.
I'm actually appalled that anyone disagrees with the idea that women should bear some responsibility. I don't know if it's a generational thing or not, to not want to accept any responsibility and to assume that you can do anything you want, skip along through meadows of flowers like a child and life will sail right on with no repercussions or consequences. Only a fool thinks this way.
excellent post ...worth reading again.
I agree that "only a fool thinks this way".
I could never blame a victim for being raped...that's not his/her fault....
What's a shame is that many of them could have been prevented by taking simple precautions with their own welfare.
"
Last edited by purehuman; 11-15-2017 at 10:23 AM..
There have been plenty who think it's a woman's fault.
.
I disagree...you've twisted the meaning of what they've said to suit your own agenda (whatever that is)....nobody has said "it's the woman fault"....what they've said is that the woman could (and sadly in OP's case should) have taken precautions to protect herself.
The woman in OP's post took absolutely NO precautions.
Did she deserve to be raped because of it?...NO, no-one is saying she did.
Sassybluesy...do you think it's wrong to tell your friends or loved ones that they shouldn't hitch hike?....if not why not?
For years and years people have been warning others of the dangers of hitch hiking....getting into a car with a stranger. Why do you think that is???
Could it be that they don't want anything bad to happen to their loved one?
Could it be that they care?
It's the same thing as asking a woman not to go to the home of a stranger alone...for their safety...
By warning our loved ones to take care, we're not blaming them for any awful things they may encounter in this world...just trying to keep them safe and prevent some of them from being hurt.....why is that so wrong to you??
So, what exactly is your job IRL? Do you educate groups of women, like those on college campuses, on how they can act to prevent rape? On not going out at night, not drinking, not going to parties alone?
Where in this forum has ANYONE said that a woman shouldn't go "out at night".."not drinking", "not going to parties alone"....nowhere.
What has REALLY been said is that they shouldn't go home ALONE with a STRANGER. What is so hard to comprehend about that?
Lots of women go out at night, drink, party, and then get a safe ride home.....no-ones saying they should deny themselves that or they'll be raped because of it....that's ridiculous.
About as ridiculous as excepting a ride to a TOTAL STRANGERS home where anything could happen...
My sister a few years back wanted to meet up with a fellow she'd met online.
She discussed it with me, and we agreed that she should meet in a very public place.
We also arranged an exact time for me to phone her on the cell (when she knew she'd be with him), and if she didn't answer I'd know there was trouble.
Not the best of precautions...but at least some.
"...While the perpetrator is solely guilty for the assault, the woman in this case did things of her own volition that dramatically increased her risk.."
I agree that a perpetrator is solely guilty for any assault but I think women need to be more careful about what they do and try to avoid risky situations. For instance, the women who went to a certain Hollywood producer's HOTEL ROOM. Why? What did they think was going to happen there? Jogging in parks in the dark--? Going into questionable bars by yourself late at night. One night stands with strangers. Driving to secluded areas to buy things from strangers. Leaving doors unlocked and blinds up at night. The list goes on.
I'm actually appalled that anyone disagrees with the idea that women should bear some responsibility. I don't know if it's a generational thing or not, to not want to accept any responsibility and to assume that you can do anything you want, skip along through meadows of flowers like a child and life will sail right on with no repercussions or consequences. Only a fool thinks this way.
So, is the point of the trial to assess her level of risk or to assess the guilt of the defendant?
I don't understand how knowing that her level of risk was 20% versus 80% could even be determined with any validity or reliability on such a scale and what the interpretation would be. What if it was 80% "risk"...yet there was clear evidence that there was an assault. Does the perp get a lesser sentence? Doe the victim have to wear a scarlet letter (you pick the letter) for a specified period of time? Or does that just become a fact of the case that gets reported in the media?
Some of what USED to be allowed as evidence is no longer - like the background of the "alleged" victim. So I guess THAT couldn't go into the "risk assessment".
Where in this forum has ANYONE said that a woman shouldn't go "out at night".."not drinking", "not going to parties alone"....nowhere.
What has REALLY been said is that they shouldn't go home ALONE with a STRANGER. What is so hard to comprehend about that?
Lots of women go out at night, drink, party, and then get a safe ride home.....no-ones saying they should deny themselves that or they'll be raped because of it....that's ridiculous.
About as ridiculous as excepting a ride to a TOTAL STRANGERS home where anything could happen...
My sister a few years back wanted to meet up with a fellow she'd met online.
She discussed it with me, and we agreed that she should meet in a very public place.
We also arranged an exact time for me to phone her on the cell (when she knew she'd be with him), and if she didn't answer I'd know there was trouble.
Not the best of precautions...but at least some.
The OP asked a general questions, and then provided an example. I believe most people are answering the general question.
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I have a daughter who is very young. When she gets older, should I not teach her to look out for herself, because the world owes it to her not to offend against her?
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