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Old 02-19-2020, 08:17 AM
 
13,262 posts, read 7,951,329 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jonesg View Post
So when can I say ;
"good riddance to bad trash" and stuff like "This is what drugs will do to you. Better him than the other guy" .

Tell it to your girlfriend when laying in bed. Or tell it to your dog. Or your goldfish.


Or heck, if it's that important to you to look like a crappy person...shout it from the mountains.
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Old 02-19-2020, 08:20 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,640,807 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonesg View Post
So when can I say ;
"good riddance to bad trash" and stuff like "This is what drugs will do to you. Better him than the other guy" .
Just because you have a thought doesn't mean you need to express it.
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Old 02-19-2020, 08:24 AM
 
21,603 posts, read 12,665,258 times
Reputation: 36426
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Just because you have a thought doesn't mean you need to express it.
True, but what's wrong with expressing it? I would say that goes double for the three-hundreth boring, repetitive, unimaginative "thoughts and prayers," as well. It brings nothing to the conversation, so the real question is why post that (again)?
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Old 02-19-2020, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,640,807 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
True, but what's wrong with expressing it? I would say that goes double for the three-hundreth boring, repetitive, unimaginative "thoughts and prayers," as well. It brings nothing to the conversation, so the real question is why post that (again)?
I don't think kind comments need a limit or an expiration date. But unkind, selfish comments DO.

Do you not have a concept of "time and place" appropriateness? Does it not matter to you because it's online and you can't see the negative effect your speculative comments have on people?

Some people view leaving a "thoughts and prayers" comment as an actual prayer. Some actually say a prayer when they comment. That's why so many repeat it in a row.
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Old 02-19-2020, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Raleigh
13,639 posts, read 12,289,188 times
Reputation: 20059
Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
What is this phenomenon? Someone posts some bad news (it's either a personal problem and thus a plea for sympathy or else a reposting of a public tragedy, such as a traffic accident), and one hundred people post "thoughts and prayers." If anyone deviates from the script and does NOT post "thoughts and prayers," but rather offers advice to address the personal problem or inquires as to what could have caused the tragic accident, that person is savaged by the "thoughts and prayers" contingent with accusations of being rude and uncaring. Is this simple herd mentality, or are people actually offended or threatened by a problem-solving approach to life?
Would you say at a wake, or to coworkers or family of someone that died of a heart attack "He always was heavy, let this be a lesson to watch your weight?"

Because that's the level of coarseness that's required to garner the reaction you describe. I've never seen that reaction to a simple "how?" inquiry over a traffic accident.
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Old 02-19-2020, 09:55 AM
 
21,603 posts, read 12,665,258 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JONOV View Post
Would you say at a wake, or to coworkers or family of someone that died of a heart attack "He always was heavy, let this be a lesson to watch your weight?"

Because that's the level of coarseness that's required to garner the reaction you describe. I've never seen that reaction to a simple "how?" inquiry over a traffic accident.
I have seen a simple "how?" (nothing more) elicit responses such as, "now is not the time or place for that," "don't you realize the family might be reading this," "how inappropriate," and "are you blaming the victim?" It's quite irrational.
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Old 02-19-2020, 11:16 AM
 
50,195 posts, read 35,890,986 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
True, but what's wrong with expressing it? I would say that goes double for the three-hundreth boring, repetitive, unimaginative "thoughts and prayers," as well. It brings nothing to the conversation, so the real question is why post that (again)?

You don't express it because someone on that venue loved that person, and it's only going to hurt her. What good does it do to say something like that, and what is your purpose behind saying it?
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Old 02-19-2020, 11:24 AM
 
21,603 posts, read 12,665,258 times
Reputation: 36426
Why would asking what caused an accident hurt anyone? That, and I seriously doubt that grieving families are scrolling social media reading comments by strangers; they're probably busy making funeral arrangements.
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Old 02-19-2020, 11:28 AM
 
Location: Raleigh
13,639 posts, read 12,289,188 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
I have seen a simple "how?" (nothing more) elicit responses such as, "now is not the time or place for that," "don't you realize the family might be reading this," "how inappropriate," and "are you blaming the victim?" It's quite irrational.
I think that you have to realize that when gauging the public off of social media that there are always a few vocal, overly sensitive snowflakes. The rational, stable 80% may make a "thoughts and prayers" or more likely to say nothing at all.

"there's always one," just like there's always a vocal annoying vegan on many food subjects that assume the reader isn't vegan and has no interest in becoming vegan.
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Old 02-19-2020, 11:28 AM
 
6,503 posts, read 3,396,707 times
Reputation: 7903
Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
What is this phenomenon? Someone posts some bad news (it's either a personal problem and thus a plea for sympathy or else a reposting of a public tragedy, such as a traffic accident), and one hundred people post "thoughts and prayers." If anyone deviates from the script and does NOT post "thoughts and prayers," but rather offers advice to address the personal problem or inquires as to what could have caused the tragic accident, that person is savaged by the "thoughts and prayers" contingent with accusations of being rude and uncaring. Is this simple herd mentality, or are people actually offended or threatened by a problem-solving approach to life?
FINALLY, someone who gets it!
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