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Which definition is that? I did not offer one! I am not sure how you can "use my" definition for anything if I did not offer one???
I was commenting on _your_ definition. Quite a different thing I am sure you will notice.
What I did offer was _one_ example metric for addiction of many. But it is not the only metric, so much of the rest of your post is entirely irrelevant - from cars to showers and everything in between.
We do not diagnose addiction based on one single metric. If we did - as you notice point - we would all be addicts.
So go back and read my post again. It does not say what you appear to have replied to. _All the post says_ in fact is that "Addiction = liking something a lot or maybe too much." is a massive over simplification of what addiction is.
I go to a therapist but she doesn't give very good advice on dealing with this type of thing. She just says I have to remind myself of how I will feel I after I relapse when I go back to porn after abstaining for a while. I have gotten to the point where regular people don't "excite" me much anymore, if you know what I mean. Also, I feel like when I date someone I lose attraction to them quick and that is probably because I am used to porn.
I can go like 5 or 6 days without porn and then I relapse. I need something to get me over the hump. It's hard because I am single and have no sexual outlet. Masturbating without porn does nothing for me either, but I 'm still gonna get sexual urges no matter what.
May I ask, do you want to have committed relationships? Or would you be fine with just casual sex?
I think one thing that differentiates porn addiction from sex addiction, is that with porn, it's very easy to have nearly infinite novelty and variety. Like even if you're the hottest, richest person in the world, you won't be able to click, click, click, and stimulate yourself with 50 completely different women in the space of a couple hours or something. And with porn, you don't have to worry about pleasing anyone but yourself. Also, then, there is the taboo button. That one is tricky. The human mind responds sexually to taboo. Things in fantasy that aren't really ok in reality. Which is why you have tons and tons of taboo themes in porn, and those who are truly addicted often wind up pushing the envelope, liking things further and further away from "normal" sex and deeper down the rabbit hole of extreme, bizarre, and taboo material.
Another problem I'm aware of with porn addicts, is that they can become habituated to the sensations they are used to, so that partnered sex doesn't feel "right" and they struggle to get the stimulation needed for enjoyment.
One thing that might help is ........................ get satellite internet.
When you are only limited to 5 Gs a month, when download is incredibly slow, when each additional gig is atrociously expensive, the click, click, click is not necessarily an option anymore.
OF COURSE, one can still build a data base, one might get imaginative of how to handle the limited download, and one might still watch.........
..........but if it is harder to do, it might slow the progress.
I can't say for porn but I still find it amazing of how a 20 year TV taping habit was killed off in about 4 years by TV changing to an unacceptable format to my taste and the media change away for VHS.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiethegreat
I look at porn once a year,I guess I have things that fulfil me beside sex.Find some sort of height or fulfilment in your life,some purpose or passion otherwise you will keep using porn to fulfill you.Its no different than people who eat non stop.Lack of restraint is really unattractive and causes a myriad of problems.
That one is hard to say. Myself, I would say that conceptually, I see porn if practically every day or at least 5 days a week. Watching Telemundo at work (for I really refuse to watch what passed for English television), I am besieged by beautiful people and fantastic lives which leaves me charged practically each day. Listening to Sarah McLachlan probably doesn't help, either.
Add to it that my sexual energy is DUMPED directly into how I relate to people......so essentially, I am on a build up to the crest of the wave every day.
In relation to the question at hand, is it perfect? Hardly, but it is a redefinition of things in my own image that enables me to operate in this world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeaniee
Eating right and exercising helps a ton. It keeps your system in balance so all cravings, whether for sweets, or sexual desire, remain in balance. Addictions just seem to disappear.
It is much harder to find a porn addict who exercises hardcore than otherwise. Exercise alters the brain...........
Maybe. I'd say that depends on the person.
I've used sexual energy to boost my drive during exercise, used the burn of lactic acid to feed the bite.....and certainly I have used derived images in those moments.
Now, perhaps we are talking about the same thing, about instead of sitting there watching, one gets out there and experiences it in some way. But on the other hand.......
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeaniee
..........Secondly, to keep things pure in your mind. Don't make it legalistic but watch less tv or keep it strictly to documentaries. Nothing of any kind which contains low cut tops, tight clothing, etc..not saying that is wrong but any little thing can set an addict off.
...........
What can you do to drive the feeling, that I "want more, more, more"? Perhaps it is porn but perhaps it is spices like cayenne or perhaps it is exercise the thrive on the ambition, driving myself to build a body that no man could refuse me. As I said, depends on the person for I've found that while exercise first may not be as fun as other ways, it does make the release more intense.
Last edited by TamaraSavannah; 11-13-2017 at 01:29 AM..
Which definition is that? I did not offer one! I am not sure how you can "use my" definition for anything if I did not offer one???
I was commenting on _your_ definition. Quite a different thing I am sure you will notice.
What I did offer was _one_ example metric for addiction of many. But it is not the only metric, so much of the rest of your post is entirely irrelevant - from cars to showers and everything in between.
We do not diagnose addiction based on one single metric. If we did - as you notice point - we would all be addicts.
So go back and read my post again. It does not say what you appear to have replied to. _All the post says_ in fact is that "Addiction = liking something a lot or maybe too much." is a massive over simplification of what addiction is.
Sounds as I said - the field is still making up things. And that is fine - all medicine, science and research "makes up things" and then tries them out.
My point is that we may wake up in 100 years and step into the orgasmatron, then push our finger onto the "compound mixer" which released just the right combo of chems to balance out our mind and body (we could crudely call that getting high)......and then figure out how to more carefully address our dopamine receptors (maybe we'll have better reset drugs).
We will definitely be editing DNA - just like on a word processor.
And, as a result of this we will look back at our first stabs at addiction, intricate brain surgery and much else and see it at the Stone Age....
"Addiction = liking something a lot or maybe too much."
I'm reading it again. I believe much of our current life in the West is seeking out pleasure...which ties in with liking something. To give a very personal example, I like my wife - a lot. 45 years. Obviously I am not sex addicted...would be starting to get a little tough in our mid-60's (without drugs).
I like my houses - a lot. Not the houses themselves, but the various landscapes and nature they put me into. Heck, I might even get depressed if you took all my houses away from me.
I should note that I am somewhat of a futurist so speaking conceptually. Having seen the great harm done to many of my peers by every form of the medical profession (and, of course, the miracles also), I tend to think that the first will recede while the second improves. That will mean more addiction - to health, mostly.
In the Beginner's Mind there are many possibilities. In the expert's mind there are few."
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"Now western science agrees. In a paper about "earned dogmatism," which appeared in The Journal of Experimental Social Psychology in November, 2015, Professor Victor Ottati from Loyola University of Chicago reports on a series of experiments he conducted showing that "self-perceptions of expertise increase closed-minded cognition." In other words, science says those who think they are experts are more likely to be closed-minded."
Sounds as I said - the field is still making up things. And that is fine - all medicine, science and research "makes up things" and then tries them out.
Another over simplification. Things are not simply "made up" in that field. But tried and tested and studied and more.
Your long post about your fantasy sci fi future however really is not addressing the point that is being made which - again - is simply that defining addiction as "Addiction = liking something a lot or maybe too much." is a massive over simplification of the field. It is simply a fallacious definition and not one that any body I know of uses as a working definition when working in that field.
Compare - for example - your empty definition with the short form definition used by the ASAM:
Short Definition of Addiction:
Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry. Dysfunction in these circuits leads to characteristic biological, psychological, social and spiritual manifestations. This is reflected in an individual pathologically pursuing reward and/or relief by substance use and other behaviors.
Addiction is characterized by inability to consistently abstain, impairment in behavioral control, craving, diminished recognition of significant problems with one’s behaviors and interpersonal relationships, and a dysfunctional emotional response. Like other chronic diseases, addiction often involves cycles of relapse and remission. Without treatment or engagement in recovery activities, addiction is progressive and can result in disability or premature death.
You will notice these people are _not_ defining it in terms of how much the patient "likes" the thing they are addicted to. Rather there is a _number_ of metrics and interconnected metrics used to mediate the definition around.
Yeah, kind of frustrating how hard it seems for folks to understand addiction. There's that important element of "IS THERE HARM?" Like is the thing somehow something that you look at, and you say to yourself, "You know, I really need to stop doing this." And then you do it anyways. Smokers know all about it. Every smoker I know wishes they'd never started, but quitting...anyone who has had a longterm habit and successfully quit, will tell you it was one of the hardest things they've ever done, and they still have cravings decades later. It is costly, destructive to one's body and health, and even socially undesirable, but STILL it's horribly difficult to stop.
As for porn...anyone who says there's no such thing as porn addiction, probably has a non-addictive porn habit. Not all use and enjoyment of it is addictive in nature. But if you OFTEN find yourself not doing the things with your time, that you want to do and prioritize or know you should, and choose instead to "procrasturbate" (one of my favorite made up words ) then you're treading on some addictive qualities...if you have habituation to the stimulus of your own touch to the point that you aren't satisfied with the pleasure of partnered sex, in the event that you have a partner and you're trying and there is a "problem" you can recognize...and yet you don't simply leave the porn alone for a few weeks to see if that makes things better, because it just isn't that easy... That is some addictive behavior.
An addict can see the situation, that there are undesirable effects, and yet feel compelled to engage in the habit or activity or substance, REGARDLESS of a desire to abstain.
This is not about demonizing porn. This is about addressing situations where a person is struggling with their own will, due to the psychological effects of repeated behaviors.
But I would warn OP (and others) to do the self work, with a professional or on your own if you are able, to make very sure that the problem you have is what you think it is. It is quite possible to scapegoat a "porn addiction" in place of addressing a more sensitive psychological issue, such as attachment avoidance or other "bad code" in the mind. Facing your real demons is rarely easy.
No I don’t think it has had an impact on me having committed relationships. Just need to meet someone first who wants one. That’s hard af
As far as casual sex, I have a profile on tinder but despite being decent looking I can’t get matches.
OK, and let me know if I'm being too intrusive. I'm just trying to see the obstacles in your enjoyment of porn.
And, I apologize, I forgot that you mentioned that you lose interest fairly quickly, so that would make committed relationships a problem, yes?
And if you have no other outlet, whether you are single or not, why should you not use porn as a visual aide?
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) then you're treading on some addictive qualities...if you have habituation to the stimulus of your own touch to the point that you aren't satisfied with the pleasure of partnered sex, in the event that you have a partner and you're trying and there is a "problem" you can recognize...and yet you don't simply leave the porn alone for a few weeks to see if that makes things better, because it just isn't that easy... That is some addictive behavior.
