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Will address the other points later but if my bosses stepson is in the house and my charge spends some time wth him it is then down to the stepson to say "Okay buddy, time to go back to Jenni". I shouldn't be put in the position of having to separate them. If I were the boss in this situation I would totally get what an awkward situation that would be for the nanny and wouldn't blame them at all. For what it's worth, my charge only briefly chats to his brother except for last week when he spent about 10 minutes with the brother and brothers friend. It isn't on me to control how they spend time together though, it is on them as a family.
If you're trying to figure out a way to respond, the next time she sends a text like that, why not just say, "Okay, thanks for letting me know. Would you like me to silently keep one eye on Liam to make sure he is studying?" And you can add a wink emoji if you have that type of relationship with your boss. She might respond with, "No, I was just letting you know that he'll be around the house but will stay out of your way" or this might be an opportunity for her to say "No, but we might cut back on your hours while he's here since he can watch my son."
But honestly, if he is in school and often has to study, how would he be able to watch the 6 year old? I think she was just letting you know that he'd be around the house. I know you mentioned her text being random because the stepson had been around since August, but the key word she used is "early." Maybe that day was an exception because he would be home early, so she was just alerting you?
Either way, in the future, I'd respond to any similar texts with a question.
That is a good idea to respond with a question. The thing is, he is always there when I am and by the looks of things has been there a while as he normally is in the kitchen eating a big lunch he has prepared so why she suddenly tells me he is home early I do not know as nothing was different yesterday to what it was since August. It's all very weird but I will try the question idea if she sends a text like that or will say something like 'Thanks for letting me know, he is normally there when I arrive home with (Charges name) so we will just carry on as normal. See you later. ' kind of idea.
I am still working hard in this role but there is obviously a lot of unease and I feel it is an elephant in the room scenario with me and her at the moment. I can't ever tell what she is thinking/feeling and it is unsettling
"'Hi Jen, Just so you know, Liam (Stepson) may be back from college early today but probably has studying to do."
Is it at all possible that she has been told buy either the step son or the child that when he is there they spend time together and that she might be getting the idea that you are not 'working' ( and he's not studying) when he's there and that you should be doing something to discourage it?
^^^ This. Engage with your charge more if you want to keep the job. The college student needs to study.
I am looking for another position but worried I won't find one in time. I also love my charge but am trying to distance myself as I am pretty sure I will be fired very soon. If I were brave enough to approach her, how should I word it? She must know I am worried and hasn't once tried to reassure me or make me feel like my help is really needed. This is what makes me sure I won't be working there much longer. I am not 'Part of the family' like they always said I was before the stepson moved back in.
Thinking about it realistically, the stepson will be off to uni/work in a year or so, it would be a weird decision to make knowing that but as I said, seems to be the case I won't be with this family much longer.
In another post, you said your employer has been acting "odd" of late. Could it be that you are so worried about losing your job that you're projecting oddness on what she says and does with your minute examination?
Can you come up with any concrete reasons why you think you would be "fired" – beyond someone else in the family becoming available to care for the six-year-old or as a money-saving decision? (Which you will have no control over.) Your friend reinforcing this idea is not helping either.
And a word about being "part of the family": In the end, you're not – regardless of how happy someone may be with your work. It's subject to change at any time.
Well yes, I see the being part of the family thing was all crap now but they shouldn't say it if it isn't meant. To the other poster, I do a fantastic job so please stop suggesting otherwise. I love my charge and distancing myself emotionally doesn't change that as I still remain a great carer.
As for my boss being odd of late I mean that she is a lot less appreciative and not treating me nicely when it comes to pay and hours. It makes me feel she believes she can be careless as she now has her stepson to take over the care. Very foolish as college schedules change and next year he will be applying for jobs so won't be around but this is what I feel is going on.
Also Haprint I resent what you are suggesting in that I do little work and the stepson is taking over the care of the kid as that is laughable. As I said before, it is on the stepson to encourage the child to come back to me. If stepson doesn't want to be disturbed, he needs to keep the door shut in his room. The only time my charge spent about 10 minutes with him was last week when stepson and his friend were about to go out and my charge was in the room upstairs talking to them. It would have been awkward for me to have gone in and disrupted that and if my boss is getting annoyed over that then I don't want to work for her anyway as she needs to understand it isn't my fault and that I can't stop my charge speaking to his brother. If stepson doesn't like it he either needs to tell charge to come back to me or shut the door to ensure privacy.
If you're trying to figure out a way to respond, the next time she sends a text like that, why not just say, "Okay, thanks for letting me know. Would you like me to silently keep one eye on Liam to make sure he is studying?" And you can add a wink emoji if you have that type of relationship with your boss. She might respond with, "No, I was just letting you know that he'll be around the house but will stay out of your way" or this might be an opportunity for her to say "No, but we might cut back on your hours while he's here since he can watch my son."
But honestly, if he is in school and often has to study, how would he be able to watch the 6 year old? I think she was just letting you know that he'd be around the house. I know you mentioned her text being random because the stepson had been around since August, but the key word she used is "early." Maybe that day was an exception because he would be home early, so she was just alerting you?
Either way, in the future, I'd respond to any similar texts with a question.
I hope it works out.
Well, it's obviously cheaper to have a sibling look after another sibling and 17 is certainly old enough for the typical teenager to responsibly do it. And studying is easy enough to break from as needed...so seems silly not to have Liam step in. But, if they are well-to-do and Liam is spoiled then who knows.
OP - you need to be more direct - you seem to think that as long as you don't ask you'll be kept on the job longer. That is questionable so you may as well find out what the future plans are. You don't even have to frame it in terms of Liam specifically but ask if they anticipate there being any changes in their need for your services with the holiday coming up or for the foreseeable future. That's what a professional would do and it's how a professional should be treated.
She used to be very appreciative but since the stepson has moved in, she has been less grateful for my help...Having said that her behavior has been odd of late and I am tired of feeling like I am not really needed or that I am second best.
She probably doesn't really like that the stepson has moved in, and she's probably stressed out.
I mean that she is careless now as she has back up with her stepson. I doubt she is stressed, they seem to get on great and I bet she is happy he has moved in.
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