Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I woke up anxious today - feelings of fear that are attached to someone important in my life. These feelings make me feel like a victim to the person, and that makes me feel powerless, and eventually angry and enraged (I don't feel the last two feelings, I suppress them, which then feels like feelings of malaise/depression).
I can feel the process unfolding and it is very unpleasant.
I am now (around five hours into it) very aware of the component of anger - I actually feel it and it feels much like a child's anger at not getting their own way. In these moments, I feel like my life is doomed by the actions of this other person and it makes me furious that I cannot have my way and have a nice life like I want (and deserve) to have.
I use holistic healing tools (have quite an arsenal of them) - and that helps (today made a special "depression" essential oil blend, which has been reversing the downward spiral).
Because I often comment when people speak of depression on this buried component of anger and rage, I am aware that most people are totally unaware of these factors - most people buy into mainstream thoughts about depression, and I don't.
I also cried earlier because I miss my deceased father (who has an upcoming birthday) - so repressed grief is another component of MY depression.
Just sharing in case any of this might help someone else.
OP: I don't know if you use a sleep combo but I do and via a friend's recommendation, I just added taking 500mg Typtophan capsule and 50mg P5P (B6), I take these two as I go to sleep about 10PM. I actually slept a good 4 hrs before I went to bathroom about 2AMish...then off to sleep again.
My friend says, you are upping your serotonin with the new addition. She's fought depression for years and anxious issues but says the above two are making her moods so much better.
I'm not moody, and things don't bother me a lot, but the night before I didn't sleep well waking up with winds and worrying about the fires not that far from my area.
I use MANY supplements for everything and can't imagine going the other way. J
OP: I don't know if you use a sleep combo but I do and via a friend's recommendation, I just added taking 500mg Typtophan capsule and 50mg P5P (B6), I take these two as I go to sleep about 10PM. I actually slept a good 4 hrs before I went to bathroom about 2AMish...then off to sleep again.
My friend says, you are upping your serotonin with the new addition. She's fought depression for years and anxious issues but says the above two are making her moods so much better.
I'm not moody, and things don't bother me a lot, but the night before I didn't sleep well waking up with winds and worrying about the fires not that far from my area.
I use MANY supplements for everything and can't imagine going the other way. J
I don't have problems sleeping - I have many aids which work for me - one is a very comfy bed, bedding and pillow - then I take a hot tub, hot shower, and put particular essential oils that relax me on my wrists, feet, neck, chest, etc. I use a sound machine with ocean waves and sleep very well.
I woke up anxious today - feelings of fear that are attached to someone important in my life. These feelings make me feel like a victim to the person, and that makes me feel powerless, and eventually angry and enraged (I don't feel the last two feelings, I suppress them, which then feels like feelings of malaise/depression).
I can feel the process unfolding and it is very unpleasant.
I am now (around five hours into it) very aware of the component of anger - I actually feel it and it feels much like a child's anger at not getting their own way. In these moments, I feel like my life is doomed by the actions of this other person and it makes me furious that I cannot have my way and have a nice life like I want (and deserve) to have.
I use holistic healing tools (have quite an arsenal of them) - and that helps (today made a special "depression" essential oil blend, which has been reversing the downward spiral).
Because I often comment when people speak of depression on this buried component of anger and rage, I am aware that most people are totally unaware of these factors - most people buy into mainstream thoughts about depression, and I don't.
I also cried earlier because I miss my deceased father (who has an upcoming birthday) - so repressed grief is another component of MY depression.
Just sharing in case any of this might help someone else.
I believe what you are doing is not working for you.
By your own words.
My acupuncturist told me that I needed to learn to acknowledge my anger and work through it. I was so offended as I am a very "nice" person. She referred me to a psychologist who then helped me understand that I had deep seated rage and anger towards a few people in my life... and rightly so.
I had no idea what anger/rage felt like, much less how to express it. I didn't know that for most of my life I had been turning this anger on myself. It's impossible to move forward and heal from something that's harming you if you aren't aware of it.
My acupuncturist told me that I needed to learn to acknowledge my anger and work through it. I was so offended as I am a very "nice" person. She referred me to a psychologist who then helped me understand that I had deep seated rage and anger towards a few people in my life... and rightly so.
I had no idea what anger/rage felt like, much less how to express it. I didn't know that for most of my life I had been turning this anger on myself. It's impossible to move forward and heal from something that's harming you if you aren't aware of it.
OP, I understand where you're coming from.
Thank you. It is very insidious.
I was just really paying attention to what I recognized as "depression" and noticed the (at first) subtle, vague feelings of anger, then rage. The reason why it is hard to identify is that there is no particular thought attached to it.
What I found out about myself and my process is that I woke up in fear about a particular person - and then I had thoughts that made me feel like a victim - and those thoughts made me angry/then rageful . . . the victim thing is really a powerful negative dynamic for me. It makes me furious to think that my happiness is at the behest of anyone else - that they have the power to destroy my life, basically.
My acupuncturist told me that I needed to learn to acknowledge my anger and work through it. I was so offended as I am a very "nice" person. She referred me to a psychologist who then helped me understand that I had deep seated rage and anger towards a few people in my life... and rightly so.
I had no idea what anger/rage felt like, much less how to express it. I didn't know that for most of my life I had been turning this anger on myself. It's impossible to move forward and heal from something that's harming you if you aren't aware of it.
OP, I understand where you're coming from.
I also identify as "nice" and I think that is why so much of the stuff gets repressed.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
