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When a man is angry to that point, and another man tells him to calm down, trying to reassure him, usually that man does calm down, because he knows the other man cares and doesn't want that angry man to get in trouble or have him die from a stroke or heart attack due to the increased blood pressure.
Yet...
When a man tells an angry woman to calm down, she just gets angrier.
When a man is angry to that point, and another man tells him to calm down, trying to reassure him, usually that man does calm down
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, because he knows the other man cares and doesn't want that angry man to get in trouble or have him die from a stroke or heart attack due to the increased blood pressure.
Quote:
Yet...
When a man tells an angry woman to calm down, she just gets angrier.
Why?
I've told men to calm down - and they've gotten angrier
I've told women to calm down - and they have
I don't have enough information to say whether men or women are more likely to get angry when told to calm down
When a man is angry to that point, and another man tells him to calm down, trying to reassure him, usually that man does calm down, because he knows the other man cares and doesn't want that angry man to get in trouble or have him die from a stroke or heart attack due to the increased blood pressure.
Yet...
When a man tells an angry woman to calm down, she just gets angrier.
Why?
So what, you told a man to calm down when his beer got knocked over and it was sweet? You told the woman to calm down after she found out you cheated on her and she lost it?
Of course those are examples but that is how far out your statement seems.
Your statement is too generalized as there are too many men/women/and situations.
Of course it's an over generalization, but the reason is; Usually, the woman keeps things in until things boil over. By the time she's yelling at the man, she's very much telling him to HEAR HER!
The reaction she would've LIKED to have received would've been something more like "Holy moly, my lady is upset! How did I miss this? I should listen to her, and see what the problem is."
When you tell her to calm down, you're dismissing and making light of her anger.
Again...that's a generalization. Your mileage may differ.
When a man is angry to that point, and another man tells him to calm down, trying to reassure him, usually that man does calm down, because he knows the other man cares and doesn't want that angry man to get in trouble or have him die from a stroke or heart attack due to the increased blood pressure.?
Your experience in this can't be universal. I say that because back when I was a clerk at a police department, I was filing their current training materials, and one of the sheets covered how to deal with a person who is acting upset or violent. I remember that it said specifically, "Never say, 'Calm down.' This will often upset him even more, and escalate the situation." (Yes it said "him.")
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Originally Posted by JBAinTexas
Yet...
When a man tells an angry woman to calm down, she just gets angrier.
Why?
Could it possibly be because he was the one who made her angry in the first place, and telling her to calm down feels to her as though, rather than owning up to whatever he did, he is trying to minimize it by focusing on her "irrational" anger?
It sounds like you deal with a lot of reasonable angry men and a great many unreasonable angry women. (Or maybe just one really, really angry woman. If that's she case, I can pretty much guarantee you that telling her to calm down will never be the answer.)
When a man is angry to that point, and another man tells him to calm down, trying to reassure him, usually that man does calm down, because he knows the other man cares and doesn't want that angry man to get in trouble or have him die from a stroke or heart attack due to the increased blood pressure.
Yet...
When a man tells an angry woman to calm down, she just gets angrier.
Why?
When a woman tells a man to calm down, the same thing happens. And men are much more prone to getting angry, because it's the only emotion they're "allowed" to express.
LOL, because if you are the one telling her to calm down, chances are that she is angry at YOU. And if she is angry at you, then you are automatically wrong. And instead of apologizing for always being wrong, you're suggesting that she is overreacting, which of course is not the case, because you are automatically wrong.
"Holy moly, my lady is upset! How did I miss this? I should listen to her, and see what the problem is.".
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