I wonder if there is a name for this disorder, or if it's just a function of my age: I expect people to do what they tell me they're going to do. And if they don't and don't have a reasonable, understandable excuse, I just write them off.
Perhaps I should be more flexible? <snip
AT LEAST contact me and tell me they can't make it.
Am I being unreasonable?[/QUOTE]
No, I don't think you need to be 'more flexible' and if this is a recurring theme; no, just no.
Yes, one would think that the onus is on the party who is "late' or not able to make it to call. Yes, one would think.
No, I don't think you're being unreasonable.
A function of your age? Yeah, maybe because we are full grown adults and have just decided that we are in charge of and responsible for what we will allow to happen in various 'social/business exchanges.
Okay, so now that you've opened Pandora's box...
In this case, a sister-in-law. We're going out to breakfast (I'm up every morning at 4 AM) but because I'm the 'weirdo' I have to accommodate her 'lifestyle'.
"Okay then, I'll be there to pick you up at 11 am". Not anymore, she's never on time.
I have now re-engineered my life to suit my needs and my convenience, to wit, nowadays I do not allow anyone to pick me up, ever. In my experience it is akin to being kidnapped and held hostage.
Same sister-in-law, new rules, now I will only agree to lunch, at 12 noon and a movie matinee, (her preferred time/day/activity due to her very important lifestyle/schedule), and I will only meet her at the designated restaurant.
I get there 10 minutes early because I respect people and want to be on time. At 12 noon I either order my lunch or get the buffet, I leisurely eat my meal by myself, not giving a second thought that I am a) on time, b) eating alone, couldn't care less because I know for a fact that she will not be there on time and probably not call either.
I pay my bill, I leave my tip and I depart the restaurant. She has called me as I was on my way home or sometimes already home to say that she's "running a little late" but she'll be "right there",
as if!
I act stupid and ask "right where"?
"Didn't 'we' say we were going out to lunch/matinee today"?
"Yeah, 'we' said at 12 noon, right?
"I...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah," all the various reasons and excuses and of course she was too busy to call. One would think that she was an 'on call' Emergency Room doctor.
"Oh, I'm sorry, when you hadn't called to say...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I just thought you had forgotten or got tied up with something else".
"Well can we meet for the matinee, at least"?
"Oh, I'm sorry, when I didn't hear from you I made other plans, maybe another time".
No, just no. Nothing at all objectionable to your view on this matter.
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