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So back in HS, I had this friend who I became buddies with. However, we got integrated into this group of people and then, he turned on me and started bullying me by making very gross incest jokes about my brother and I, which really made me upset throughout senior year. After HS ended, there was a group chat to stay in touch and this guy was part of it. He continued even on with those jokes, first time, he laughed off me telling him to stop and second time, he said some stupid stuff like he didn't want to make the joke and I forced his hand, which is total BS as he's vicitim blaming. It cooled off for a while until he did it again back in Feb, but I ignored him. Later, I brought up how angry I was at him for his bullying and he said he was sorry I was hurt, but he doesn't feel bad about what he did, which is a half-hearted apology. When I told him it was hard to get over it, he had the nerve to tell me to 'grow up and get the f*ck over it." Later on, I brought my grievance and he tells to shut the f*ck up and that he did everything short of writing a letter to my mother, when he didn't do anything at all. He dismisses my bullying and says its been a year even though he continued after HS, which makes it less than a year. Bottom line is, I'm angry at this guy for his refusal to take responsibility for being a jerk and still blaming me and honestly, i think he's a sociopath. I know he's a loser and not worth it, but how can I deal with my anger?
Let it go. Be better not bitter. Focus your energies on building friendships with quality people. There is always going to be jerks in life. I find it is best not to give them my time and energy. Good luck with it.
You keep picking the scab by continuing to talk to this guy. He's a jerk, and you can't change people. Cut him out of your life and be done with it.
Indeed. Dismiss this cipher from your life and your consciousness. Perhaps somebody will kneecap him one fine day, you might read about it in the paper.
So back in HS, I had this friend who I became buddies with. However, we got integrated into this group of people and then, he turned on me and started bullying me by making very gross incest jokes about my brother and I, which really made me upset throughout senior year. After HS ended, there was a group chat to stay in touch and this guy was part of it. He continued even on with those jokes, first time, he laughed off me telling him to stop and second time, he said some stupid stuff like he didn't want to make the joke and I forced his hand, which is total BS as he's vicitim blaming. It cooled off for a while until he did it again back in Feb, but I ignored him. Later, I brought up how angry I was at him for his bullying and he said he was sorry I was hurt, but he doesn't feel bad about what he did, which is a half-hearted apology. When I told him it was hard to get over it, he had the nerve to tell me to 'grow up and get the f*ck over it." Later on, I brought my grievance and he tells to shut the f*ck up and that he did everything short of writing a letter to my mother, when he didn't do anything at all. He dismisses my bullying and says its been a year even though he continued after HS, which makes it less than a year. Bottom line is, I'm angry at this guy for his refusal to take responsibility for being a jerk and still blaming me and honestly, i think he's a sociopath. I know he's a loser and not worth it, but how can I deal with my anger?
Yeh, you're sensitive, the faults of the other person don't matter at this point, they have gone as far as they can or are willing.
Set them aside for now.
Here's the way out.
You have to acknowledge your own mistake in this, because the only thing you have control over is you. Stop playing God.
To desire the power to force someone else to change, even change for the good, is playing God and thats kinda dangerous.
You really have not forgiven them.
It would seem your forgiveness is conditional, so it's fake.
Forgiveness has to be unconditional, I've had resentments so strong I wished the other person was in a 1000 room hotel fire and died in every room. But I had to forgive them.
What they did to me was of no consequence .
There is no other way out, if there was I would have taken it.
Yeh, you're sensitive, the faults of the other person don't matter at this point, they have gone as far as they can or are willing.
Set them aside for now.
Here's the way out.
You have to acknowledge your own mistake in this, because the only thing you have control over is you. Stop playing God.
To desire the power to force someone else to change, even change for the good, is playing God and thats kinda dangerous.
You really have not forgiven them.
It would seem your forgiveness is conditional, so it's fake.
Forgiveness has to be unconditional, I've had resentments so strong I wished the other person was in a 1000 room hotel fire and died in every room. But I had to forgive them.
What they did to me was of no consequence .
There is no other way out, if there was I would have taken it.
I never said I forgave him. I don't as he hasn't done anything to earn my forgivness and he doesn't deserve it.
forgiveness is for you, not him..think about it, then try to honestly do it for yourself..as for any future feelings about this guy, make mental preparedness notes on how to deal with him in person if you run into him again..rise above it..it'll make you a better person..
He likes making you mad. He likes the power over you. You need to move on completely away from him and never bring it up again with him. Remember, the best vengeance is to do better in life than your bully or critic. Spend your energy on doing great in your life.
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