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It’s so discouraging. I interviewed for a different position and I was the top prospect but then they gave it to a younger girl. A girl who is late every day, can’t keep up on her work, and calls in sick every few months or sometimes weeks. I’ve never been late, never called in sick in 3 years, have good working relations with everyone and am the only one that doesn’t fall behind. So it has to be the fact that she is 31, thin and blonde (not very pretty face wise but everyone loves her European accent).
Weren't you the person who was obsessed with why guys liked your uglier friends more than you?
You were advised to seek counseling, work on your marriage, change your thought process, etc.
It's obvious that you haven't "tried everything".
If his "isn't into me" means he doesn't love you then
that would depress anyone. If it's just a hard patch work on it.
If he doesn't want to work on it leave. You can support yourself
somehow and begin to look for better work.
I do purchasing. Enter orders and answer emails all day. Deal with sales reps and fix ALL of their mistakes.
You should be able to get a job. I think you're being picking. I'm a female in my 40's in insurance/financial sales and have never had a problem getting a job! I don't think it's your age, but maybe where you live or most likely your attitude, as it seems like you are very much depressed.
If you want a new career you don't always need to go to school! Find a trade that has little schooling such as getting a license or a certificate program that could be a few months. Suggestions would be an insurance agent, real estate agent, administrative secretary for a CEO, etc. I would also suggest talking with your manager and tell them that you want a different position. If they value you they'll make it happen to keep you!
As far as your husband is concerned, you need to have a talk with him and tell him you don't like the fact that he's "not into you". Find out what the problem is and work on it. If he's not willing then leave him!
And lastly, you need a new doctor and a new therapist as you definitely have insecurities and problems that need to be worked out!
I often think that people who get overwhelmed by all the BAD stuff in their lives lose the ability to start anyplace on improving their situation. All they see is a huge mass of negativity, not an accumulation of separate things that could be teased apart and tackled one at a time. So, because they want the entire thing to change NOW (which isn't the way it works), they end up just frozen and stuck. OP, its not all going to vanish due to one change. It may help if you look at the negative things differently. Pick one that you have some control over and change that. It could be a little thing, but gaining some control by changing it, and feeling better about it may encourage you about other things. Build on those, don't tackle the whole mountain. Find some happiness where you can and build from there. Otherwise you will just stay stuck, expecting something that won't happen.
Right now all you "hear" is an internal recording telling you over and over that your life is terrible. Its become the status quo, familiar, and there's no effort needed to keep it playing. If you don't change the recording, its going to stay that way. Disrupting a habit of thinking takes energy and effort, not just wishes.
About the job....have you ever asked any of those interviewers why they selected another candidate over you? Ask why you did not get promoted? If your skills on paper seem fine, what made their decision? It could be something like simple chemistry between the candidate and the company, not skill related at all. This would reassure me that I wasn't the problem. As for not being promoted where you work now, it could be that the company feels you perform the best right where you are, so that's where you will stay. In a way that is a compliment. If you no longer want to do the work, that's different. You would need to tell them what will fulfill YOU, and offer suggestions for how to make that happen. You also need to tell them why this will benefit them. That's what's important from their point of view.
Changing an entire career will probably mean that new education or a new set of skills you need to learn. You'll either need to accept that and make the time, or find a way to change your current job in a less profound way. There is only so much any one employer can do to satisfy their workers. You would need to show them why the investment will be worth it.
Last edited by Parnassia; 01-16-2018 at 12:28 PM..
On another note. I have hardly any friends anymore. I reach out to people and get no response or and excuse and then they turn it around and act as if I never contacting them. Or they finally reach out after so many times of blowing me off so then I don’t respond and they unfriend me. It’s feels like there is just anything left.
On another note. I have hardly any friends anymore. I reach out to people and get no response or and excuse and then they turn it around and act as if I never contacting them. Or they finally reach out after so many times of blowing me off so then I don’t respond and they unfriend me. It’s feels like there is just anything left.
"People" usually don't have the experience or the knowledge that a counselor does. They don't know how to help even if they have the best intentions. They can also be "used up" and exhausted trying, especially if nothing they suggest is ever acted upon. At some point they just give up.
IMHO, I doubt you've really tried "everything". You have probably tried the things that were easy to try, and the ones you were willing to take a chance on. Profound change takes risk.
I’ll never understand the going back to school suggestion. How is something that takes several years a fix to a current situation? As stressed as I am with my job and everything else, how is adding school going to help with that?
You could attend class in the evening, maybe at a vo-tech for something that wouldn't take years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adrian75
On another note. I have hardly any friends anymore. I reach out to people and get no response or and excuse and then they turn it around and act as if I never contacting them. Or they finally reach out after so many times of blowing me off so then I don’t respond and they unfriend me. It’s feels like there is just anything left.
My guess is that go on and on about your issues, they make suggestions and like here, you have a list of why that won't work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllisonHB
"People" usually don't have the experience or the knowledge that a counselor does. They don't know how to help even if they have the best intentions. They can also be "used up" and exhausted trying, especially if nothing they suggest is ever acted upon. At some point they just give up.
IMHO, I doubt you've really tried "everything". You have probably tried the things that were easy to try, and the ones you were willing to take a chance on. Profound change takes risk.
Yep!
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