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I hate this argument, because it usually results in a pissing match from both sides.
When I was 31, I dated a 22 year old and a 42 year old within a few month time span. I used to laugh as one of them was born in 1972, the other was born in 1992, I was born in 1982. One side probably considered me a creepy, old, perverted guy, preying on young girls because I needed to have control over them, who needed to ''Find a woman around my own age'' for dating the 22 year old. And the other side probably considered me a mentally ill young man, with mommy issues and a creepy fetish for old women. And because my mom is fairly close in age to me (a couple weeks shy of 19 years), the 42 year old was closer to my mom's age than my age. And I'm just going by the stuff and opinions that I've read on this topic, I never really took any real life grief from anybody over either situation.
I don't really care what anybody thinks, anyone's opinion on it is irrelevant to me. I do wanna have at least one kid, so a long term thing with the one who was 10 years older was not a great scenario for me. She already had two kids and didn't want another. However, if I had a kid already and I was single right now (I'm not) and currently being 35, I'd be open to developing a long term relationship with a woman probably between the ages of 24-45. Maybe slightly younger than 24 on the younger end and perhaps more than slightly older than 45 on the older end. If there was attraction, both physically and beyond, I'd be open to 48-50 at the older end. Of course if I was older than 35, that age might rise a little bit on her end. Don't think I'd be interested in anyone more than 12-15 years older or more than 12-15 years younger in a long term thing.
As you know from my topic I am dating a younger woman, and got a lot of negative reactions, I have also gotten some in real life, though I have noticed a pattern with it being women around my age group; 40 and up mostly. I can only guess it's the same for on here. Does it really bother you? Surely there are plenty men in your age group so why the negativity?
I don't see what the problem is. Just ignore them. No problem then. Who needs them anyway?
Um, please don't date minors unless you are a minor.
Psychologically, the older women are probably either jealous or they have mind sets that they believe people have to follow certain social "rules."
There aren't any rules for this between consenting adults. If they say anything tell the biddies to mind their own business. That'll give them something to talk about.
Jealous may not be quite the word....but after a certain age there ARE fewer men than women and when they choose to date younger that makes it even harder. May not exactly help the self-esteem of women to see men passing them over for something they once were themselves.
For the women who do seem upset by it, that's what I thought it was about. Some women are going to interpret his choice of a younger woman as a negative comment on the attractiveness of "women of a certain age."
I wonder how many women are even aware that the male:female sex ration changes over time.
For those who are not aware, in any cohort there are more male babies born than female, the ratio ranges from 1.05 to 1.07 depending on your source. However for a variety of reasons (violence, risk taking behavior, etc.) more men than women die. In later years men simply do not live as long as women for a variety of health and gender related reasons. By around 60 the ratio is roughly even (again depending on source). After age 60 or so the men who are still alive begin to have an increasing advantage that there are fewer men competing for a greater number of women.
I'm somewhat older than that but either it's my imagination or I don't know what but I'm finding it a lot easier to get dates with age appropriate women, and some of the women I've dated were widows. (More often they are simply divorced.) Since I'm reporting a subjective experience it's not really a valid statistic. I think I have improved with age and having better luck because I've become more people oriented. Who knows? OTOH it's working and I believe the saying, "Don't fix what ain't broke."
So relating this back to the topic I think the answer is "not that simple." IMO it depends on the age of the man who is faced with the problem and the age of the women he perceives are disapproving of his dating younger women.
If the man and the women who disapprove him are 60-ish and later then the women could be reacting to discovering there are fewer and fewer men, and object that a young woman is taking another man from their possible dating pool.
However I think it's more simple than that, or in other words I think I may have over-analyzed this. Not being a woman I can't really say how women feel (women, feel free to comment) but I think women in general are more focused on their appearance and on appearing youthful (after all, who wears makeup?) so I think likely at some age where women start worrying about their age they begin noticing men dating women younger than them, and that is the basis of their objections.
In other words it's the simple answer. Some women are jealous when a younger woman gets the man and they don't. I think it's just that simple.
^ Good stuff. And to support just how not simple it actually is: the OP was the one, in his prior thread, who SAID he was being used by his younger girlfriend. He used that actual word in his thread title, for heaven's sake.
But he didn't like both men and women agreeing. Apparently he wanted everyone to say: oh no, she wants your body, she wants you heart and soul, even though she is lukewarm toward you although you have bought her college tuition AND a brand-new car AND let her move in with you and quit her half azzed Walmart job so she can gab to her friends on her phone all day...
He was so upset at not having *his own* statements of usury refuted that he "innocently" made this new post hoping to force people into supporting, no, it can't be usury...people must just be saying so because women are soooo jealous...
...and finally he got the fodder he so desperately wanted. So he could rub his bruised ego, pat it on the head and tell it, there there, it's okay.
'Course....then he disappeared.
So, you didn't know how right you were in saying none of this was quite so simple.
^ Good stuff. And to support just how not simple it actually is: the OP was the one, in his prior thread, who SAID he was being used by his younger girlfriend. He used that actual word in his thread title, for heaven's sake.
...
So, you didn't know how right you were in saying none of this was quite so simple.
I enjoyed your post! Now that you have mentioned that I think the OP has some kind of problem, and likes getting attention on the forum.
Myself, I like to get attention on the forum by writing well thought out replies. I minored in psych, have studied psych my whole life, and think I may have some experience that most people don't get. I enjoy sharing my experience and the possibility that I might be helping somebody on the forum.
In other words it's the simple answer. Some women are jealous when a younger woman gets the man and they don't. I think it's just that simple.
Funny. But wrong.
Us women over 50 are not jealous of a younger woman that snags an older man. If anything, when I see that scenario I feel badly for the young woman that she chose not to pair up with one of her peers and that one day she's going to be only 50 but her partner could be in advanced decrepitude.
Us women can be however, a bit disgusted with the man, not the girl, when we see a much older man with a much younger woman. He's obviously based his decision on youthful looks more than any other factor. He has not paired up with one of his peers, and it reeks of immaturity on his part. "Do you remember when Eric Clampton...oh yeah...you weren't born yet" is not exactly a great partner conversation.
Women are not so much jealous but angry at the male mind that prioritizes sexuality always. The value placed in a relationship with a woman is too often based on sexuality alone, everything else about companionship comes second. Often it is a predatory relationship, he has more money, more manipulative techniques. It isn't always this way, but it is the underlying current of these relationships with a large age span. Just look at Trump and Melania, perfect example. He went for looks, age, and fertility, she went for money and power. They don't look very happy to me, all these years later, I think they have been married 13 years. There are also a fair amount of women that have a "daddy complex" and want the father figure because they find that appealing, and then there is the widely held belief that women mature emotionally much faster than their male peers, making a relationship with a peer less desirable and a relationship with an older maturer male desirable. Lots of factors playing into why this happens, and each case needs to be assessed individually.
Number one priority is sex for males, always.
It is good to be able to mind-read.
Sexuality is important but first is personality. Without the compatible and interesting personality, you'll never get to the sexuality.
I once had an affair with a woman 14 years my senior, I was 37, she was 51. I didn't know it when we first dated. She was well-preserved and if she hadn't started talking about this and that, I'd have not known her age. I didn't ask her age, she didn't ask my age.
I was never interested in women that much younger. At 37, I doubt I'd have found a 23-year-old with the maturity and interests I had. But you never know, anything is possible with compatible people.
One friend set me up with a friend she thought might be compatible and dating material. But the kid was young, and acted it.
It's not the age in years, IMO, unless you make it about the numbers.
I wonder how many women are even aware that the male:female sex ration changes over time.
For those who are not aware, in any cohort there are more male babies born than female, the ratio ranges from 1.05 to 1.07 depending on your source. However for a variety of reasons (violence, risk taking behavior, etc.) more men than women die. In later years men simply do not live as long as women for a variety of health and gender related reasons. By around 60 the ratio is roughly even (again depending on source). After age 60 or so the men who are still alive begin to have an increasing advantage that there are fewer men competing for a greater number of women.
I'm somewhat older than that but either it's my imagination or I don't know what but I'm finding it a lot easier to get dates with age appropriate women, and some of the women I've dated were widows. (More often they are simply divorced.) Since I'm reporting a subjective experience it's not really a valid statistic. I think I have improved with age and having better luck because I've become more people oriented. Who knows? OTOH it's working and I believe the saying, "Don't fix what ain't broke."
So relating this back to the topic I think the answer is "not that simple." IMO it depends on the age of the man who is faced with the problem and the age of the women he perceives are disapproving of his dating younger women.
If the man and the women who disapprove him are 60-ish and later then the women could be reacting to discovering there are fewer and fewer men, and object that a young woman is taking another man from their possible dating pool.
However I think it's more simple than that, or in other words I think I may have over-analyzed this. Not being a woman I can't really say how women feel (women, feel free to comment) but I think women in general are more focused on their appearance and on appearing youthful (after all, who wears makeup?) so I think likely at some age where women start worrying about their age they begin noticing men dating women younger than them, and that is the basis of their objections.
In other words it's the simple answer. Some women are jealous when a younger woman gets the man and they don't. I think it's just that simple.
Uhhhhh ...
In your opening sentence, did you mean "female sex ratio"??
I made my way through that wandering treatise, and I believe your conclusion is ... that .... some women are jealous and some are not?
Yes, I can cosign on that theory. The OP's situation, of course, was atypical, as he was allowing himself to be obviously used by a younger woman, and I suspect that is what brought on the derision he experienced, at least here on the forum.
Women are more focused on appearance? Not really. I believe that the reason YOU are getting more age-appropriate dates is much more nuanced. In my experience, it's because women your age have already achieved many of those life milestones upon which many younger women place so much value (marriage, kids etc), and they evaluate the "male cohort" differently.
They tend to have much more open ideas about differences and compatibility, and many also find themselves the object of attention from men who are younger AND older than they are BECAUSE they are not so focused on finding a provider and father figure for potential offspring.
The definition of "life partner" is different when you are 25 vs. when you are 55. Most of the women I know (at age 50 myself) believe in allowing others to choose who they want that partner to be. And most often if HE actually prefers someone 30 years younger, HE would not be on our radar anyway.
In other words it's the simple answer. Some women are jealous when a younger woman gets the man and they don't. I think it's just that simple.
Funny. But wrong.
Us women over 50 are not jealous of a younger woman that snags an older man. If anything, when I see that scenario I feel badly for the young woman that she chose not to pair up with one of her peers and that one day she's going to be only 50 but her partner could be in advanced decrepitude.
Us women can be however, a bit disgusted with the man, not the girl, when we see a much older man with a much younger woman. He's obviously based his decision on youthful looks more than any other factor. He has not paired up with one of his peers, and it reeks of immaturity on his part. "Do you remember when Eric Clampton...oh yeah...you weren't born yet" is not exactly a great partner conversation.
Well don't look at me. IIRC the youngest woman I've dated lately is 64, and one of my favorite ladies is 75. I'm kind of in the middle. Um, figuratively, not literally!
I don't want to date a woman who doesn't remember the British invasion. Don't get me wrong, I think young women are really cute, and I even have several young women who are good friends, but I wouldn't date them. I like dating women around my age who know how to take care of themselves. My favorite (65) and I often work out at LA Fitness together, yoga, Zumba, whatever.
Not every senior male covets young women's bones. I like to admire them from a distance, or have them as platonic friends.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwatted Wabbit
It is good to be able to mind-read.
I'd rather be able to see through clothing!
Don't get me wrong, I like young women! Just not for dating.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
Uhhhhh ...
In your opening sentence, did you mean "female sex ratio"??
Yeppers. I'm an old guy. First your memory goes... and I forget what's next. I need my Geritol... Oh, wait, I don't have any. I'm sipping a Martini! Much better!
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
I made my way through that wandering treatise, and I believe your conclusion is ... that .... some women are jealous and some are not?
My treatise? Please, I am a published professional writer. You're getting for free what others pay for. It's not "wandering." It's dead on!
And yes, sure, some are, some are not.
Some women could give a flying... ... swan dive what men do. That's my kind of woman, doing her thing, not caring what other women or men are doing. A smart lady does her own thing. And I'm smart enough to spot that kind of woman.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
The definition of "life partner" is different when you are 25 vs. when you are 55. Most of the women I know (at age 50 myself) believe in allowing others to choose who they want that partner to be. And most often if HE actually prefers someone 30 years younger, HE would not be on our radar anyway.
At 25, "life partner" means "until I get tired of you. Or find somebody hotter!"
Last edited by Lovehound; 03-13-2018 at 07:38 PM..
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